a very important question!

[khalsamerijaankijaan]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Dear Sangat,

I have a very important question. I have been brought up in a very religious family and I really value my Sikhi more than anything. Im still trying to get as much about Sikhism inorder to become a gurmukh. Just recently, some of my relatives decided to hook me up with this person. totally different in views, not a practising sikh and more to this is that the person had relationships before...I really dont like this part of the story. What does Sikhism say about this?? Is it right to get married to someone who has had a past. I cant ignore my values and most esp Guru ji's teachings. I dont want to take any step that will make me regret for the rest of my life. Please help me make a good decision. well I personally think i shouldn;t go for it.

Thanks

Pul chuk maf

[smartsingh24]

Refuse.

[rKr]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

Personally, I think you need to look at the situation on the whole. Does this person regret the past? Would this person be willing to accept the faith you have in your Waheguru? Would this person be someone to whom you could also impart your love of Waheguru to?

Could it be that Waheguru bought this person onto your path, because the mer and kirpa you have could also be shared??

You need to establish the person's way.

To think the world would refuse anyone who had a past is quite unbearable - each person's situation, life is different to anothers - I have a past, but I have also found my way to Guru Sahib's charan - does that mean that I shouldn't marry a Gursikh now?

If you turn to Guru Sahib, I am sure they will show you the right path - a person does nothing alone, it's only with Guru Sahib's kirpa that a person can move away from the ills of this world, and embrace their Guru Sahibs love -- you need to establish whether this person had a past but now wants a future, or whether this person has a past she/he is unwilling to leave behind...

That's my two pence worth.

Bhul Chuk maaf.

[Gupat Singhni]

Are you amritdhaari?

You said this person was not a practsing sikh...am I right to assume this person is not amritdhaari/or doesnt't have a rehat?

As YSL has suggested do not focus on just the fact that the person has had previous relationships. If this person wishes to become amritdhaari and is genuine about this then you should give this person a chance. However, if she has no interest in sikhi then the last thing you want is someone that will not be able to support you or aid you in your path to sikhi.

I hope that helps..

[khalsamerijaankijaan]

im not amritdhari but i keep my rehat inorder to become one soon. This person doesnt really seem to be interested in this path but respects my interest in it(im confused about this). Like phaji YSL said, I shudnt just look at the past but i have to make sure this person will accept the sikhism path... or else, I wont go for it and the rest ... I pray to WAHEGURU dear to show me the right path.

thanks again sangat ji

[Gupat Singhni]

You have bharosa and guru sahib so all will be fine. If this person is not interested n becoming amritdhaari and that is something you wish to do in the forseeable future, then I am inclined to say this person is not for you..

In sikhi we believe in gristhee jeevan and your jeevan can only be gristh if your partner is amritdhaari also..

Ideally you want a partner that can assist in your sikhi and help you keep your rehat, not some that just respects your interest..because this is not just an interest..it is your way of life.

Bhuk Chuk Maaf!

[rKr]

Paji,

The thing is, respecting your faith in Sikhi and wanting to follow the path of Sikhi are two different things. My friends respect my faith, but they will still live their lives how they wish to do so.

The thing you should not base your answer on if this person has a past etc. If this person is unwilling to accept your path in Sikhi, then it could be they are not for you.

As difficult as these situations can be, you need to make sure that person is right for you, and for that you will need to converse with them quite seriously (which is hard living in the world we do, with all the pressures surrounding marriage etc). This person needs to seriously think about the future, as do you.

One thing I will say, however is sanjog are written from Dur (above, akaal purukh) and when that person is bought to us, no matter what, Akaal Purukh will give you the all to be with that person. Akaal Puruh will orchestrate the milni of two people as they wish fit. Waheguru Ji won't do you wrong, just have bharosa.

Bhul Chuk Maaf.

[amankaur]

hi

i havent been on here for ages infact i left this site yh but i came across ur topic kinda interested me yh so thought id reply to u, i aint read wa the others had said im a jus gona giv u my opinion n it is onli a opinion i aint sayin yh do wa me sayin yh.

ur tryin become amrit thari rite? every1 has time n place when yh they feel they wana take amrit. iv always believed that i'd take my amrit with my partner as in once im married me and my husband to take it together (thats if i get married).

u say the guy has already had a relationship with some one well least he being honest withu hunna gota respect that right! tel u truth it totali upto u if u want to marry this geeza or not. end of day his onli human like us al. he is also gods child, i mean has he got any other faults? the person aint into sikhi i believe u said that, wel end of day thats his choice cnt force ppl to believe but u gota keep the faith n hope he will start believing. end of day u cnt turn away cus sum1 did wrong u should try help em out n show them right path. so maybe this can be something like that for you get me.

end of day id prob marry sum1 like this n if others start thinking next stuf bout me then go ahead end of day who am i to seperate a guy like the 1 you mite marry hunna! deep down every1 can be good person u just gota let em shine guide em atleast. its ur choice at the end of it cus alot of ppl wil say do this n that but we cnt make the decision for u.

take baba ji's hand n he wil guide u what to do! if i said anything wrong then im sorry yh n i hope i mad sense.

[amankaur]

oopz i assumed ur a kuri im sorry if ur a guy then jus where i kept putting guy jus stick in kuri sorry man.

[SunSingh]

Are your kids going to be raised with kesh intact? Will booze be allowed in the home? You should discuss all of these things with her, as well as finding out if she is willing to share your path with you by becomming Guru-walley.

this may help: http://www.sikhmatrimonial.com/s/MarriageAssistance