Full Of Anger

[Big_Tera]

This is great. You were praised because you should be.

So now, how will these people feel if you slander him or give him a beating? They will think you're a monster and have anger issues.

I think this man needs your help Singho. You are angry at him because of what he said to you. If you can get past this anger with Wahegurus help, you can HELP this man.

He needs help. He is lost. Preach gurbani to him. He will either learn and walk in Waheguru's path or walk away in shame and never harrass another human being again.

Thats the thing I dont think I can do anything as I am supposedly younger and have to accept anything the elders say. If I say the slightest thing in my defense I will be criticized even further. the funny thing is the person is the most insignificant person who I have no desire to talk to. he is more of a distant relative who is jealous of me and my closeness to my relatives. The only think is he is respected slightly by some of my close relatives. So its a awqward situation as I cant really raise by issues against him to anyone.

[khalsaman1]

yes you maybe right. But are Sikhs not suppose to stand up for ourselves if we are insulted or abused? I am trying to keep my mind of it. But Im quite a aggressive person naturally. ie I work out in the gym which raises my testosterone levels causing me to become even more angry. Its like the only way I can have peace in my mind is if I vent this anger out against the perpetrator who tried to fight me that night in front of my relatives.

Sikhs stand up for injustice.

Sikhs do not resort to (with all due respect) slandering or beating an old man because he hurt your feelings.

Whatever you are planning to do to exact revenge on this man will not end well for you.

[bakhshle]

sorry to hear...do ardas to get your brain free of him...

[Big_Tera]

Sikhs stand up for injustice.

Sikhs do not resort to (with all due respect) slandering or beating an old man because he hurt your feelings.

Whatever you are planning to do to exact revenge on this man will not end well for you.

I will not beat or slander him.

I will tell him a few home truths and point out what he said was completely out of order. I shouldn't have to say this to an old man but when someone has no respect or manners. It does not matter what their age is . That cannot be used as an excuse to do whatever you like and say whatever you want.Im pretty sure he saw me as a person who he could just take his anger out on.

Just imagine someone shouting and screaming at you with no provocation at all making personal insults at you in front of a big crowd of people. At the same time trying to intimidate and frighten you. When all you have done is show respect to them by shaking their hand. A person that is known as a big mouth and puts others down just so he can make himself feel better about himself. A typical insecure individual. No one has ever spoken to me like this in all my life. You think that does not deserve some kind of response? I will not be making any personal insults or shouting and yelling like he did. but saying what you did was wrong that night. Just so he knows he has not got away it and cannot continue to do this against myself or anyone close to me.

That night I could easily have retaliated in an aggressive and confrontational way. But Im not the type of person for fast and impulsive reactions. The downside is I never see these people hardly ever. So I cant actually retaliate. It was like a drive by type incident. Where someone attacks you and the you never see them again.What was especially disappointing was the age of the person . You would expect something like this from a child not a grown adult. His wife phones my house quite often which is annoying as I dont want anything to do with these people after what has been said to me.It is like I cant say anything back or I will be attacked by my family for saying something to an elder. Even though this person is a complete and utter untrustworthy disgrace.

I think the alternative is to just completely blank him the next time I see him so that he realizes what he did and I can get my message across. This will hopefully be the end of the matter.

[khalsaman1]

I will not beat or slander him.

I will tell him a few home truths and point out what he said was completely out of order. I shouldn't have to say this to an old man but when someone has no respect or manners. It does not matter what their age is . That cannot be used as an excuse to do whatever you like and say whatever you want.Im pretty sure he saw me as a person who he could just take his anger out on.

Just imagine someone shouting and screaming at you with no provocation at all making personal insults at you in front of a big crowd of people. At the same time trying to intimidate and frighten you. When all you have done is show respect to them by shaking their hand. A person that is known as a big mouth and puts others down just so he can make himself feel better about himself. A typical insecure individual. No one has ever spoken to me like this in all my life. You think that does not deserve some kind of response? I will not be making any personal insults or shouting and yelling like he did. but saying what you did was wrong that night. Just so he knows he has not got away it and cannot continue to do this against myself or anyone close to me.

That night I could easily have retaliated in an aggressive and confrontational way. But Im not the type of person for fast and impulsive reactions. The downside is I never see these people hardly ever. So I cant actually retaliate. It was like a drive by type incident. Where someone attacks you and the you never see them again.What was especially disappointing was the age of the person . You would expect something like this from a child not a grown adult. His wife phones my house quite often which is annoying as I dont want anything to do with these people after what has been said to me.It is like I cant say anything back or I will be attacked by my family for saying something to an elder. Even though this person is a complete and utter untrustworthy disgrace.

I think the alternative is to just completely blank him the next time I see him so that he realizes what he did and I can get my message across. This will hopefully be the end of the matter.

Veer Ji,

I have tried to convince you as much as possible. However, it appears you have made up your mind. Whatever happens, will be in Waheguru's will anyway.

Good luck and tell us what happens.

[Big_Tera]

Has anyone never got even against someone who humiliated them? it's not about revenge it is more about letting someone know they did wrong.

Can one ever move on. with the thought this person thinks they can get away with it.

[simran345]

Has anyone never got even against someone who humiliated them? it's not about revenge it is more about letting someone know they did wrong.

Can one ever move on. with the thought this person thinks they can get away with it.

Seems like you are not ready to move on. I've tried it, but it didn't go well. But now I have a different approach. Instead of getting angry, I explain that I'm upset because of what they said, etc etc and do it in a more civilised respectable way, rather than coming across as frustrated and angry with them. And this method has worked, it's made some realise that they were wrong and are nicer.

So if it's bothering you that much that you can't move, try to do it respectably as you can. And as the gentleman is elder to you, think if your family member did that, that you would forgive them and deal with it in that way.

That's how I would go about it, because to me age does matter, and elders do get confused and some don't have the same etiquette as the younger generation because that's just the way they are.

Also, have a talk with your family or wife about it and see what they suggest.

[Big_Tera]

Simran, I can see where you are comming from. I get along with older people very well. Infact alot of older people like and respect me because I am a very calm and understanding person. I have never had any issues with elders before. I can also take take critiscism from olders. but there is a line.

I am a very good judge of character and can tell when an older means well and when someone us just bang out of order and evil. This person likes to come across as nice but I can see through him like water.

No older has ever spoken to me like this person. to this day I am still in shock with what this dimwit said.

I have tried to forget it but when you have been humiliated infront if a large group of people. the anger just grows and grows.

to be honest at the time I just brushed it aside and forgot about it. but as you get older and mature you start to realise what actually happened. it's like post traumatic stress. at the time I just thought nothing if it. but after I started to realise what exactly happened that night.

I need vegence. that is the only way I will be able to get over what happened. i have tried to forget about it. but those memories just keep comming back. the worst thing is my uncle sees nothing wrong with what happened and blames me. this just makes the anger grow.

I have nothing against older people or any age person. but I do have a problem with pure evil people.

[sikhni777]

pure evil people.

O. K . Bhaji I have never heard a word like that before. So you agree he was pure before he became evil or he was both pure and evil.

All people are pure and evil. Yes banged it on the head!!! You are right!!!!!!!!!

Only God is great. Only God is pure. Only God can forgive over and over again even when he has told us again and again in Gurbani that Karodh is Evil. Get rid of it.

All people are a part of God. They are the way God wanted them to be.

Just think of it... the thousands and millions of sins we have sinned against God. He warns us and we sin again. He stays around us looking down on us and waiting until we realise our mistakes and repent and promise to try to see God in everything. He tells us hum nahi change bura nahi koi. WE don't listen. He still forgives us.

Asi khate bhohot kamavdhe ant na paravaar.

WE have sinned so many times and he still forgives us. Not once but millions and millions of times. He still gives us his name. He still gives us air to breath. He still gives us a body to use. He is still taking care of us. he is still talking to us through people in Sikh sangat and telling us Karodh is evil.... man it will not harm the person who you are directing it to. It will only harm you.....

It is harming you... It is harming you real bad. You cannot get rid of it alone. You need to look into the goodness of God and ask him to help you. You have to see how God forgives people millions and millions of times. You have to let Waheguru into your heart and heal you. You need to do chaupai sahib dha path and burn away this feeling.

SGGS And 1381

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਬੁਰੇ ਦਾ ਭਲਾ ਕਰਿ ਗੁਸਾ ਮਨਿ ਨ ਹਢਾਇ ॥

फरीदा बुरे दा भला करि गुसा मनि न हढाइ ॥

Farīḏā bure ḏā bẖalā kar gusā man na hadẖā▫e.

Fareed, answer evil with goodness; do not fill your mind with anger.

ਦੇਹੀ ਰੋਗੁ ਨ ਲਗਈ ਪਲੈ ਸਭੁ ਕਿਛੁ ਪਾਇ ॥੭੮॥

देही रोगु न लगई पलै सभु किछु पाइ ॥७८॥

Ḏehī rog na lag▫ī palai sabẖ kicẖẖ pā▫e. ||78||

Your body shall not suffer from any disease, and you shall obtain everything. ||78||

It is for your own good that you have to forgive him.

We get angry when we keep burying negative feelings like those inside us. Just think of it... the pure guy will possibly be leaving this world before you do.

He was possibly only trying to get rid of his frustration and possibly does not even remember what he said to you. Forgive and forget... for you do not know what horrible sins you may have committed in your past lives. We are here to repent for our past sins and rectify them. Our aim is to become one with Waheguru and you are totally deviating from your aim.

My mum in law got angry with me for waking up from the bed and giving her the phone when I had just had a caeserean operation and could not even get up. She told me such heartful words as Do not call me Mum again and we engaged in a word battle with all my bitterness on her coming out.

At the end of the day I have managed to forgive her although because of my weak state and her anger and frustration and thanklessness towards me could actually have taken my life.

So please forgive them for they do not know what they are doing at all. Even Jesus on the cross - when he was killed by men - said to God... please do not hold it against them for they do not know what they are doing.

Forgive others and God will forgive you. Choose health and positive thoughts. Pray only prayer can help you.

[simran345]

Simran, I can see where you are comming from. I get along with older people very well. Infact alot of older people like and respect me because I am a very calm and understanding person. I have never had any issues with elders before. I can also take take critiscism from olders. but there is a line.

I am a very good judge of character and can tell when an older means well and when someone us just bang out of order and evil. This person likes to come across as nice but I can see through him like water.

No older has ever spoken to me like this person. to this day I am still in shock with what this dimwit said.

I have tried to forget it but when you have been humiliated infront if a large group of people. the anger just grows and grows.

to be honest at the time I just brushed it aside and forgot about it. but as you get older and mature you start to realise what actually happened. it's like post traumatic stress. at the time I just thought nothing if it. but after I started to realise what exactly happened that night.

I need vegence. that is the only way I will be able to get over what happened. i have tried to forget about it. but those memories just keep comming back. the worst thing is my uncle sees nothing wrong with what happened and blames me. this just makes the anger grow.

I have nothing against older people or any age person. but I do have a problem with pure evil people.

Paji, what I say is if we can't change people, which we can't,only Waheguru can do the Mehr on them, then what do we do?

We change ourselves.

Hanji, it's the first time you've been spoken to this way, there's always a first for everything.

I've had lot worse than this happen to me, which I won't go into detail, as I don't wish to talk about it. If it's any consolation, these things happen. We can't control the whole worlds views of us. We maybe doing the rights things and be understanding, respectable etc, but people like this just come out of the blue.

I suggest accept it has happened, because it has and you can't turn back the clock and instead of dwelling on it, do something about it in the best way you can or forget it. If you don't accept its happened, you will never get over it and that's going to affect you later on.

Whatever you do, do it with Guruji's blessings. Look at what our Gurus had to go through, and make your mind strong.

?? Waheguru