young guys and girls relationship...

[chardee_kalaa]

the whole thing about "homosexuality is new so it's not really against gurmat - it's a tradition of our human culture"

or " arranged marriage is old so it's bad - it's an old custom that is out-dated"

or whatever

please don't use YOUNG OR OLD as a defence or an offence for some argument.

kaam, krodh, lobh, moh, ahankaar are feelings - they have existed since the beginning of humankind. Does that mean they are good?

bombs, guns, anthrax are all new things - does being new make them good?

something is not good or bad if it's new or old, something is good or bad if it's good or bad.

[jas_kaur]

i think i know this person. from birmingham is she?

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

thankyou all.

kandola paji... na wer not from birmighmam. another country.

i have another question.... wut if we want to know the person before getting married to him/her? and then fcos we need to know him/her very well before getting married. so wut im trin to say is that...we need to like the guy/girl before getting married n c wether we r suitable or not for each other. and also...while we r looking for a girl/ guy for our life partner wouldnt that b kaam den??? <_<

and about arranged marriages...what if we dont like the guy/ girl that we r getting maried to. n ur parents want you to get married. what would you do?

and another question....

say for example...you go out with a guy/girl n you both think that you guys are gona get maried to each other. but ur parents dont know. n later u guys brake up.

so on the judgement day (in the guru jees court) going out with a guy/girl - will that be counted as part of your sin?

bhul chuk maaf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[smartsingh24]

i have another question.... wut if we want to know the person before getting married to him/her? and then fcos we need to know him/her very well before getting married. so wut im trin to say is that...we need to like the guy/girl before getting married n c wether we r suitable or not for each other. and also...while we r looking for a girl/ guy for our life partner wouldnt that b kaam den???

doesn't take that much for two gurmukhs two get married. Love of god? Check. Love of Sikhi? Check. Love of your fellow man? Check. Done. And the only person you should be looking for in your life is god. :TH:

and about arranged marriages...what if we dont like the guy/ girl that we r getting maried to. n ur parents want you to get married. what would you do?

Tell them that you don't think they have what you want in a life partner.

QUOTE

say for example...you go out with a guy/girl n you both think that you guys are gona get maried to each other. but ur parents dont know. n later u guys brake up. so on the judgement day (in the guru jees court) going out with a guy/girl - will that be counted as part of your sin? Tough call, so I can't give an honest answer. What I can do is give an opinion. Why would you want to take such a risk?

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

heres the thing

kaam is one of the strongest theives

it steals ure body at every single little moment

it will attack u and take all ure amrit inside and loot u

it will keep on doin this until u see everyone as bro and sis

so, make wise choices

bhula chuka maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[Taran]

Khalistani.. Very Well put!!!

Good point!

[randip singh]

Kaam = Lust i.e. lusting after other peoples women and men is bad............you get messed up in the head...............lust is an animal instinct and something we acknowledge but try and control.......................but to eradicate would not be human.............after all this controls the urge to mate..........

........but we're not talking about lust are we...............we are talking about love...................or are we saying a man and a woman cannot love each other outside marriage?

........I see nothing with arranged marriage between consenting parties or a love marriage between consenting parties......................

......me personally I met my wife outside any arrangement and we are happily married..................tell you the truth from when we both met we knew we would be married........................but hey thats me and we're happy .............

BTW I think it is out of order comparing homosexuals and lesbians to paedophiles...............most paedophiles are usually in the family already and are usually married.....................so that knocks that theory on the head.......... :wub: @

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

wat is love

a veera provided a thuk on this thread referring to true love

maya disguised itself in many ways

"love" is not wat many think it is

love is caring for the other person

not doing other things

that stuff is pure indulgence in kaam

kaam does not mean lusting for others peoples wives or husbands

its straight out any type of seuxual desire

and true

if we completly destroy kaam, we are no longer human

we become with god himself

i remeber reading in bhagat bani once that one bhagat je was saying i have caste out all the poisin in al my viens and now they are filled with amrit

in the same thuk they talk about how the 5 theives, inlcuding kaam, have completly left their body

and i dont wanna say notin to u personally randip je, but to others who dont want arranged marrige, next time u see a bibi that u think u might wanna marry, think of hwer exactly as ure sister

cause until anand kaaraj, that moment when lavaan are read, and ure soul becomes one in 2 bodies, thas wat u shud be thinkin

everyones re sis and bro

we can use all our own "logic", which guru je usually refers to as manmat, over guru jes logic, gurmat, but it dont compare

in the end, guru jes word is law

in dharam rais court there not really gonna care about youre reasons for haveing kaam

dharam rai has no heart at all

remeber that

bhula chuka maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

[smartsingh24]

if we completly destroy kaam, we are no longer human

we become with god himself

Isn't that our ultimate goal? to become one with god?

[Mkhalsa]

jas kaur..

the answer to your question is...

in sikhi, arranged marriages dont work like they do (or shouldnt) in other cultures, ie islam.

why? because sikhi is a progressive religion!

if your family, or preferably gursikhs in the area, have found you a rishta. You have the right to speak with them first, find out about their rehat and their avastha--the two most important things. If they fit, its probably a good idea. yes you should check your interests etc, but in sikhi, as is proven by the lava, marriage is about spirituality and finding a gursikhi match is the best priority to keep in ones mind.

now if you dont like the person, say so, end of story. find someone else. simple as that. its just a suggestion until you approve it, unless its a situation where the kid wants to date around and doesnt care about sikhi and wants "love" and is just ruining their parents reputation, then why shouldnt the parents step in to say something. forcing marriage is wrong.. but there are reasons for arranged marriage per gurmat.

the most obvious reason is to get rid of kaam, krodh, lobh, moh and ahankar in the partner finding process.

[Gupt daasan daas]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

yes smart singh je, i wud think thats our goal

to merge into vaheguru je

and u cannot have love marriges per gurmat as reasons ive already given like 20 times, BUT, as mkhalsa jes said if ure parents have rishta for u u can for sure ask the other person stuff about their attitude towards sikhi, etc.

its not like if ure parents have a rishta, thas it, u HAVE to marry the other person

bhula chuka maf

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!