Effects of Late Marriage And Postponing Pregnancy On Our Life

[BibaKaur]

The word marriage is fast loosing its meaning today. With men and women getting engulfed completely into their careers and fast lifestyle, getting married at an early age is seen more as a curse in one’s life. Almost everyone wishes to stay single, enjoy their independence, achieve their career goals, work and earn high pay-cheques, while very few decide to get married and begin a family.

But, not taking the decision to getting married at the right age has its own cons. Late marriage leads to late pregnancy and its wide range of side-effects. Age is a very important criterion for women, especially for conception. Delayed age greatly affects the fertility of a woman, reducing the possibility of conception.

Today, a huge number of couples are fighting infertility due to their age. The number of childless couples is increasing every day. According to a survey, in mid 1990s, only 13 percent of all married couples aging between 35 and 45 had no kids. But today, the number has increased to almost 40 percent which is quite shocking.

- sorted out few points from reading

[jkvlondon]

Biba Kaur this is simplistic thinking , the fact that we do not eat according to gurmat bibek and eat outside ready made foods and drinks means we are ingesting large quantities of literal poisons which strip our bodies of their natural vitality and health it is not just age and delayed pregnancy . Vaccines have been found to have preservatives with known infertility effects also such as polysorbate 80. Less drugs of all forms need to be taken and only necessary medical intervention at a last resort where diet modification has failed to resolve . I mean our great grands had massive families on very simple to no medical intervention... must be something there 

[BibaKaur]

On August 24, 2016 at 8:37 AM, jkvlondon said:

Biba Kaur this is simplistic thinking , the fact that we do not eat according to gurmat bibek and eat outside ready made foods and drinks means we are ingesting large quantities of literal poisons which strip our bodies of their natural vitality and health it is not just age and delayed pregnancy . Vaccines have been found to have preservatives with known infertility effects also such as polysorbate 80. Less drugs of all forms need to be taken and only necessary medical intervention at a last resort where diet modification has failed to resolve . I mean our great grands had massive families on very simple to no medical intervention... must be something there 

I totally agree with you on the diet perspective but I think age matters too. In out great grandparents' times it was very common to get married at an early age, so that could be one factor too! 

[jkvlondon]

38 minutes ago, BibaKaur said:

I totally agree with you on the diet perspective but I think age matters too. In out great grandparents' times it was very common to get married at an early age, so that could be one factor too! 

my Nani ji had her first at 21 nd her last baby 24 years later making her over 45 , another Masi of mine had no children and then had her first in her late forties and of course that 70 year old singhni had a baby boy this year ...

we can do it later in life, but the main thing is, you need to be less selfish and that is the main problem, people are too self-centred these days to give their time and attention to each other and their children.

[chatanga]

11 hours ago, HarkiranKaur said:

The 70 year old Singhni used a donor egg. You see it's not the ability to carry a child that we lose with age, it's our eggs. If a couple are ok using a donor egg (the baby will be the husbands and another woman's DNA but the woman giving birth will have no biological link with the child) then pregnancy and having children can happen into the senior years. I'm not sure how I'd feel about carrying a child though that was not biologically mine and even worse was genetically my husbands and another woman's. ?

You know what? The baby would feel the same, thinking what a monster's womb i was for 9 months.

[simran345]

13 hours ago, HarkiranKaur said:

The 70 year old Singhni used a donor egg. You see it's not the ability to carry a child that we lose with age, it's our eggs. If a couple are ok using a donor egg (the baby will be the husbands and another woman's DNA but the woman giving birth will have no biological link with the child) then pregnancy and having children can happen into the senior years. I'm not sure how I'd feel about carrying a child though that was not biologically mine and even worse was genetically my husbands and another woman's. ?

That's your own opinion and your entitled to it. But there are many women that would be ok with it if they cannot have children. Even couple's adopt children that are not born to them, but they treat and love them as their own, even though are not biologically theirs. 

[simran345]

1 minute ago, HarkiranKaur said:

Adoption is different as you both are adopting the child together. In egg donation the baby is literally a combination of your husband's DNA and another woman's. You would have no link with the child genetically but your husband would. It would be closer to being a step mother from a previous relationship than adoption and much more complicated on if you tell or not to the child. Imagine family saying oh hey the baby has your husbands eyes and your nose. But you know the nose can't possibly be yours. With adoption the family knows and it's open. With egg donation it's a lonely journey for the Mother who has to deal with the comments on the baby's looks etc and knowing that none of herself will ever be in there. Still some people are fine with it but most Never ever tell the secret even to the child. But if they do find it eventually, how would you feel if your own child now thinks dad is still dad biologically but thinks of you as just an adoption mum. So it's more complicated than you think. Adoption is actually much easier to deal with. I have had a family members life torn apart because of the big 'secret'. 

So what. Not everybody thinks like you. Hor lecture likla. 

[chatanga]

55 minutes ago, HarkiranKaur said:

 how would you feel if your own child now thinks dad is still dad biologically but thinks of you as just an adoption mum.

 

Children do not think like that. They show love and commitment to whoever raised them. In some cases the bond between a woman and her non-biological child is even stronger. Why do we always hear stories of women who have (along with fathers) who have killed thier children, or let abusive partners kill their childre.

 

You act like yours is the only opinion worth listening to. Isn't your time on this forum over?

[chatanga]

57 minutes ago, simran345 said:

So what. Not everybody thinks like you. Hor lecture likla. 

Well if you dont then you will hear nothing else. The same rubbish, over and over again. This forum is better off without her.

[singhbj singh]

1 hour ago, HarkiranKaur said:

Adoption is different as you both are adopting the child together. In egg donation the baby is literally a combination of your husband's DNA and another woman's. You would have no link with the child genetically but your husband would. It would be closer to being a step mother from a previous relationship than adoption and much more complicated on if you tell or not to the child. Imagine family saying oh hey the baby has your husbands eyes and your nose. But you know the nose can't possibly be yours. With adoption the family knows and it's open. With egg donation it's a lonely journey for the Mother who has to deal with the comments on the baby's looks etc and knowing that none of herself will ever be in there. Still some people are fine with it but most Never ever tell the secret even to the child. But if they do find it eventually, how would you feel if your own child now thinks dad is still dad biologically but thinks of you as just an adoption mum. So it's more complicated than you think. Adoption is actually much easier to deal with. I have had a family members life torn apart because of the big 'secret'. 

I know a couple who had a child after trying for 14 years.

My guess they used someone else's sperm for IVF that means baby's biological father was a donor.

It really doesn't matter coz these procedures are kept secret in punjabi-Sikh society.

99.9% chance is child will never be told or know about it.

You being white don't know about the stigma attached to barren wife in Indian society especially low caste, uneducated, rural.

They are not open to straight forward adoption but will Cheat to save face in society.