I've stopped doing it......

[AJSM10]

   So ever since I got to the age of i think 16-17 I've stopped looking at bani and paath (prayer) -- I don't know why, I used do loads! of nitnem and look into bani. I'm now 19 and still not even touching nitnem or reading bani... I very disappointed in myself I used do loads and me and my dad would have debates about things and get told about stuff I've not even heard about. I think its got something to do with Kaam... and I'm not going to lie I do find myself... doing that thing quite a lot... But I can't help I've even done paath on a random occasion to stop but Kaam keeps grabbing me by the neck -- I don't want to do this anymore and just go back to when I was 15 doing loads of paath and studying even deeper into sikhi. I don't why I've stopped its like I forgot about sikhi. Although, there are a couple things that I sort of disagree on sikhi ever since I got to 19 years old (if you are keen on knowing what I'll send you a message because I don't want to share this out to every and become a bad person any way), I also think thats why I'm not doing paath -- because of that. Any suggestions? On what I could do or what could possibly be the problem. I know that I'm 19 and I'm indulging in the wrong stuff (Kaam related) I also think that could be a massive problem... but seriously I just want that life back when I was doing paath and reading bani at young age. 

   All in all, I'm trying my absolute best now -- trying to squeeze paath. I just can't see myself moving any closer to light -- what it looks is a sikh boy on a path at a stand-still and not moving towards Guru's light. 

[Guest Jacfsing2]

1 hour ago, AJSM10 said:

   So ever since I got to the age of i think 16-17 I've stopped looking at bani and paath (prayer) -- I don't know why, I used do loads! of nitnem and look into bani. I'm now 19 and still not even touching nitnem or reading bani... I very disappointed in myself I used do loads and me and my dad would have debates about things and get told about stuff I've not even heard about. I think its got something to do with Kaam... and I'm not going to lie I do find myself... doing that thing quite a lot... But I can't help I've even done paath on a random occasion to stop but Kaam keeps grabbing me by the neck -- I don't want to do this anymore and just go back to when I was 15 doing loads of paath and studying even deeper into sikhi. I don't why I've stopped its like I forgot about sikhi. Although, there are a couple things that I sort of disagree on sikhi ever since I got to 19 years old (if you are keen on knowing what I'll send you a message because I don't want to share this out to every and become a bad person any way), I also think thats why I'm not doing paath -- because of that. Any suggestions? On what I could do or what could possibly be the problem. I know that I'm 19 and I'm indulging in the wrong stuff (Kaam related) I also think that could be a massive problem... but seriously I just want that life back when I was doing paath and reading bani at young age. 

   All in all, I'm trying my absolute best now -- trying to squeeze paath. I just can't see myself moving any closer to light -- what it looks is a sikh boy on a path at a stand-still and not moving towards Guru's light. 

You're not looking at your problem in the right way, what you see is a simple easy solution, while the solution actually has nothing to do with you; but everything around you and the previous actions from past lives. The big question is what do you do whenever you are alone, because that is what determines whether Kaam controls you in future battles. Another thing is don't let it win, whenever you get the thoughts of it, do something else. Finally you need a reason to fight Kaam, do you have a big enough reason to fight it, will your willpower survive?

[kangw]

On 06/11/2016 at 3:48 PM, AJSM10 said:

   So ever since I got to the age of i think 16-17 I've stopped looking at bani and paath (prayer) -- I don't know why, I used do loads! of nitnem and look into bani. I'm now 19 and still not even touching nitnem or reading bani... I very disappointed in myself I used do loads and me and my dad would have debates about things and get told about stuff I've not even heard about. I think its got something to do with Kaam... and I'm not going to lie I do find myself... doing that thing quite a lot... But I can't help I've even done paath on a random occasion to stop but Kaam keeps grabbing me by the neck -- I don't want to do this anymore and just go back to when I was 15 doing loads of paath and studying even deeper into sikhi. I don't why I've stopped its like I forgot about sikhi. Although, there are a couple things that I sort of disagree on sikhi ever since I got to 19 years old (if you are keen on knowing what I'll send you a message because I don't want to share this out to every and become a bad person any way), I also think thats why I'm not doing paath -- because of that. Any suggestions? On what I could do or what could possibly be the problem. I know that I'm 19 and I'm indulging in the wrong stuff (Kaam related) I also think that could be a massive problem... but seriously I just want that life back when I was doing paath and reading bani at young age. 

   All in all, I'm trying my absolute best now -- trying to squeeze paath. I just can't see myself moving any closer to light -- what it looks is a sikh boy on a path at a stand-still and not moving towards Guru's light. 

This is exactly what happened to me a while ago.  I was blessed with the Amrit Daat whne I was in my early teens. My spiritual journey was fairly smooth in the beginning but it came to a sudden halt after roughly three years when I started asking questions on a lot of concepts in sikhism.  There was no one around to give me satisfactory answers.  It was a very painful journey for me and even more painful not to do my paat and kirtan, but at the same time I couldn't find anyone to motivate me enough again.  Anyways, after a  few years' gap, suddenly I was brought back on the Path by Waheguru ji's Kirpa. It is still difficult to stick to it, but I carry on with what I can manage.  It is not easy, but I will never ever stop following sikhi and the dicipline it has taught me completly, come what may.  So, please, don't loose hope.  Just carry on with what you can manage and everything will be fine.  Please have faith in sikhi and Waheguru.  Good luck.

[sikhni777]

On 06/11/2016 at 3:48 PM, AJSM10 said:

but seriously I just want that life back when I was doing paath and reading bani at young age. 

You did not start doing it all in one go. Therefore when you turn back - remember it is going to be in small steps. One small step everyday.

Maybe this is the uplift you are looking for