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Virginity


Guest Sikhi1
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Hi there I'm a Sikh girl and I'm a non amritary, I have recently been thinking about how non amritary males no longer keep there virginty and therefore I do not want to be a virgin if my future husband is not . It's not right I think how women should stay pure when majority of men are not . Yes it is a sin but so is me cutting my hair and if God can forgive me for that can he not forgive me if I lose my virginty . Yes they are completely different things but as a women why should I stay pure as a non amritary Sikh if my husband in the future that I know for a fact will not be as it is highly unlikely for a non amritary man to still have his virginty when he wants a love marriage ? Surely God can understand the fact that I shouldn't stay pure to give my future husband the gift of me being pure if he cannot do the same because no non amritary man stays virgin after uni . 

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how about thinking about it like this , keeping is a sign that you respect yourself enough to not to treat your virginity like a disease, a fault, that you will not settle for just low level attention but someone who will respect you and really commit to you, in marriage . I have three teenage sons and we've talked about not settling because the truth is everyone deserves to have a life partner who actually meets us on a mental, emotional and yes spiritual level .

That it's hard to see others partnered up with girls and vice versa , I told them to actually see how those guys treat and think of girls and if it really is what they want to be like . After a while they realised that those guys think nothing of taking advantage and then dumping (something you do to rubbish , ever thought about that?) the girls to move onto another. Of course they had crushes etc but I told them to hang back and just see how those girls are for a few days...in the end they saw that those girls were also fake , and users. They didn't deserve their (my sons') attention, love and commitment so they never approached them and now they tell they are glad they hadn't although it was tough at the time. 

We don't do the wrong things just because we know Waheguru ji is forgiving, we avoid doing them because to undo the wrong takes a lot of time and effort we cannot guarantee we will have enough time to do that. If someone else is spoiling their one chance at a good life by developing a horrible attitude to others and themselves do you really need to be copying that ? Guru ji tells us no affairs of the heart outside marriage and other things such as truthful living,doing sewa, doing simran   for a reason because He loves us and wants us to be the best humans we can be and to finally come home to Him . If you want someone worthwhile you have to develop your own self to have good qualities and reject those people who don't match you, not throw away your goodness to match the other people's bad qualities. Self-acceptance is the start of many good things in life including sikhi , accept you as Waheguru ji made you and then you can progress further, Waheguru ji doesn't make mistakes and you are meant to be a sikh .

 

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Is it not wrong though how into days generation women keep there virginty and men don't this gives the sense that it's okay for men do this when its not . Women get married to me who have lost their virginty but are still virgins as this the right way . I think it's wrong that I should stay a Virgin if my future husband is not one therefore why am I keeping my self virgin for him if I will not get the same gift from him ? 

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Admin plz post this comment

 

Although i am really not interested in commenting on a topic like this, but i reminds me of some bachan of sant rara sahib wale,

""they himself once told that when they were in school, they used to carry gutka sahib in pocket and apart from regular panj banis, 5-extra jaap sahibs were their routine,

in 10th class, sant ji said they used to sleep for two hours,11 pm to 2am then simran till 7-8am and then go for school,

u  can imagine the difference between thinking of OP nd sant ji, they said i used to close my eyes all the time, when going to school, i used to look for few seconds (to make sure road is clear) then again close eyes and simran with dhyaan.

when sant ji were in 10 class, they can sit for 6 continue hrs in meditation,they told that first 4-5 mins are conciouss then remaining 5.45 hrs are deep samadhi.

when sant ji left school they started sitting for 24-24 hrs in one sitting, when they left reru sahib they used to sit in meditation for weeks nd something a month in just one sitting.

 

i know we cant be like them but just look at the thinking for OP (plz dnt take it as offence to u)

this time peroid shud have thoughts of how to meet God,how to improve naam abhiyaas,how to meditate on naam, etc

 

but here seems that young generation is not even familiar with these experiences. This generation however watch movies on meditational power but seems topics like

being virgin or not

masturbation,

falling with love with a singh or singhni inside gurudwara,

cant stop thinking of him.her,

etc are everything for youngs yhese days,it seems like nobody in young generation understands 

" gobind milan ki eho teri variyaa"

(means if this life goes waste,its finish and  u have to wait long long long long times for getting a human life again, we cant even imagine the number of zeros in that years ,may be 100000000000000yrs or dnt know even more, becoz guru ji said "eho teri variyaa" means no other chance

 

the dear OP, try to focus on

"eho teri variyaa" instead of false untrue worldly topics

"awar kaaj tere kitae na kaam" 

it simply means what u r talking  above is nothing but pure nonsense and of no use(guru ji said this)

 

i also request senior members to plz ignore this kind of topics as i dnt think OP is suffering from any sikh related issues or any real genuine obstacles,

"how to stop mastubation" topics like this are somehow okay as this is a issue with our young generation, but this topis of 

"i am thinking not to be a virgin anymore", are not a genuine issue but a nonsense and we shud not ready to reply to every single nonsense like this.

 

bhullchuk muaaff jee

 

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12 hours ago, Guest Sikhi1 said:

Lets think now,  A modern amritari male is not going to stay virgin, if you do find one he's most likely to be lying or you have found the rare minority who stay virgin. Also i know for a fact i won't end up with a guy who is still a virgin, today's society has a very low chance for that happening, and even if i was not a virgin the majority of male modern non amritari sikh males would not be that bothered. Also i have been asking a large amount of male non amritari sikhs and they have all lost their virginity and they have also stated that they are not bothered if a women is not a virgin. Therefore my question is , is it worth me staying a virgin if i'm gonna end up with a guy who has lost his virginity or does not care. Women are are supposed to stay "pure" for their future husbands instead of living life the way they want to . I understand why we should stay pure but these day neither gender is this ideal "pure human". 

 

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To be honest i understand where you are coming from. I, myself am a non amritari male member of society and I am no longer a virgin i lost it to someone who i loved dearly and do not regret a single thing. Losing your virginity is not the worst thing before marriage because God judges you on what kind of person you are and how well you lived your life rather than what religion you are therefore it does not matter long as you try to be a good person.

Hope this helped :)

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Guest (Singh)
15 hours ago, Guest Sikhi1 said:

Hi there I'm a Sikh girl and I'm a non amritary, I have recently been thinking about how non amritary males no longer keep there virginty and therefore I do not want to be a virgin if my future husband is not . It's not right I think how women should stay pure when majority of men are not . Yes it is a sin but so is me cutting my hair and if God can forgive me for that can he not forgive me if I lose my virginty . Yes they are completely different things but as a women why should I stay pure as a non amritary Sikh if my husband in the future that I know for a fact will not be as it is highly unlikely for a non amritary man to still have his virginty when he wants a love marriage ? Surely God can understand the fact that I shouldn't stay pure to give my future husband the gift of me being pure if he cannot do the same because no non amritary man stays virgin after uni . 

 

Im a non-amirtdari Sikh guy who just finished uni and still a virgin.  A lot of people I know from university including non-sikhs are virgin, but it is not something people shout about, and a lot of people will pretend. Just remain 'pure' for Waheguru or Guru Ji.  

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A hot potato topic! Let me in!

I just want to say before I continue that when I got married I was a virgin and she was not. I got married at 22.

Like the evangelical christians say, I "saved" myself for marriage unwillingly. More on that later.

Your statement which is your personal opinion is that women should have fun as well. The answers you will get will probably be these videos from this forum.

I personally think that these are very good answers on onwards towards the topic of virginity. 

Before we continue what is the concept of amrit and not taking amrit?

Now lets turn that questions around. Why should men "save" themselves until marriage?

 

Having sex outside of marriage will create karma which cause consequences. 

Whatever gender you are.

WJKK WJKF

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Guest GuestReply

Let me tell you, I am a non-amritdhari male who doesn't eat any meat + egg, drink or smoke and I have lived in a western society for 16 years. I am still a virgin as I believe in not commiting a wrong (i.e sex outside marriage). Everyone has their beliefs, but in my opinion only losing your virginity because your spouse may not me virgin is just wrong in many ways.

I hope sometime in the future, I become fit to take Amrit and I do not want to have done something which can cause issues for this or which I feel goes against our guru`s teachings. However, its your choice as to how you want to live this life; follow the guru or go against their teachings.

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