Whole Family Against Me Doing Bhagti - help

[Singh2017 191]

VJKK VJKF 

 

Sangat Ji, Daas is asking for some help. I'm trying to increase my bani and naam (or even just doing the current bani and naam I am being blessed to do) but I can't do any simran or paath with my family having to say something about it. They are constantly telling me to stop and I feel like I have to wait for them to leave the house for do any simran or bani because they're always listening out for me and judging me and making fun of me. They kick up a fuss every time I was to go to the Gurudwara and I want to become Amritdhari soon and I can't hack them constantly not letting me to bhagti. I've done ardaas many times and I always hold faith and it seems like things get worse but that's not the problem because Maharaj doesn't make mistakes so I can accept that but I don't know what I can do. I can't use that as an excuse to not do any naam or bani. I've spoken to them and everything and they just don't care. It makes me want to leave the house and it's destroying my relationships with people at home. What can I do?

 

Vaheguru Ji 

[Guest]

WJKK WJKF

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

What do they exactly say to you?

[simran345 2,503]

47 minutes ago, Singh2017 said:

They are constantly telling me to stop and I feel like I have to wait for them to leave the house for do any simran or bani because they're always listening out for me and judging me and making fun of me.

Are you reciting Gurbani out aloud? That’s the only reason I can see that would be creating their reactions. Do it quietly, in your mind or semi out aloud. 

Set a time aside for bhagti and don’t isolate completely from your family. Make a timetable/planner of tasks that need doing also. You need to also be part of gristhi jeevan. 

Its good you’re going to the Gurdwara, but are you coming back very late, that they would be worried you are falling behind in any school work? What is your age, are you at school or college or what ? 

[Singh2017 191]

15 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

WJKK WJKF

Sorry to hear what you are going through.

What do they exactly say to you?

VJKK VJKF 

 

They'll be like oh you're gonna fail at school or you're wasting too much time and they start calling me a baba and then it gets worse because they think I only do paath and no school work. My mum literally follows me at amritvela to the bathroom to see why I'm having a shower in order to pressure me to stop. Loads of remarks and stuff and it's just so annoying. 

[Singh2017 191]

12 minutes ago, simran345 said:

Are you reciting Gurbani out aloud? That’s the only reason I can see that would be creating their reactions. Do it quietly, in your mind or semi out aloud. 

Set a time aside for bhagti and don’t isolate completely from your family. Make a timetable/planner of tasks that need doing also. You need to also be part of gristhi jeevan. 

Its good you’re going to the Gurdwara, but are you coming back very late, that they would be worried you are falling behind in any school work? What is your age, are you at school or college or what ? 

VJKK VJKF

I'm 17 and in Sixth form. I'm trying to do everything quietly so I can focus but then they have a go at me for always being in my room doing paath when they don't understand that I cant do it openly because they judge me.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF 

 

They'll be like oh you're gonna fail at school or you're wasting too much time and they start calling me a baba and then it gets worse because they think I only do paath and no school work. My mum literally follows me at amritvela to the bathroom to see why I'm having a shower in order to pressure me to stop. Loads of remarks and stuff and it's just so annoying. 

Singh, which country and area do you live in?

[simran345 2,503]

Just now, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF

I'm 17 and in Sixth form. I'm trying to do everything quietly so I can focus but then they have a go at me for always being in my room doing paath when they don't understand that I cant do it openly because they judge me.

Sorry to hear that. As long as your school work doesn’t get affected, then it’s a good thing to get up early, shower and do nitnem. It’s better than those that can’t get up on time or doing bad stuff, getting into the wrong company of friends. 

Is there anybody elder that is an Amritdhari in your relatives that can discuss this with the whole family and you. Maybe you could all sit down and organise things that will benefit you and won’t effect them. If you’re not coming out of your room, then they will be worried that you’re changing. But if you’re also being part of the family and talking to them, having dinner together etc, then it shouldn’t be a problem. 

[Singh2017 191]

10 minutes ago, monatosingh said:

Singh, which country and area do you live in?

UK, London

[Singh2017 191]

8 minutes ago, simran345 said:

Sorry to hear that. As long as your school work doesn’t get affected, then it’s a good thing to get up early, shower and do nitnem. It’s better than those that can’t get up on time or doing bad stuff, getting into the wrong company of friends. 

Is there anybody elder that is an Amritdhari in your relatives that can discuss this with the whole family and you. Maybe you could all sit down and organise things that will benefit you and won’t effect them. If you’re not coming out of your room, then they will be worried that you’re changing. But if you’re also being part of the family and talking to them, having dinner together etc, then it shouldn’t be a problem. 

VJKK VJKF

Penji, that's one massive problem that I have absolutely no-one on this path in my family so no-one understands me at all.

[Guest Kaur 2]

VJKK VJKF

I am going through exactly the same thing! It must still be easier for you though veerji because you are 17 but I am 13 and I am considered as a baby. Just keep doing bani but do not give in. This is your test, you have to pass veerji. I don't live in London but I live in Birmingham but I am also really badly yearning to take amrit. All this bani that you do is making you stronger. Vaheguru is there for you every step of the way. I suggest doing some bir-rass bani but I don't know if you can do it whilst your mum is listening. Just be nice to your mum and when she shouts at you, put your head down and reply humbly, in this way your mum will start to feel bad and she will start to allow you. This will also help you become more humble. Do not take to heart what they say, just jaap Vaheguru in your mind the whole time. If you can jaap Vaheguru in your mind for at least half a day then you are doing well. Never stop doing your bani as this will be the only thing that will help you.

VJKK VJKF

[simran345 2,503]

1 hour ago, Singh2017 said:

VJKK VJKF

Penji, that's one massive problem that I have absolutely no-one on this path in my family so no-one understands me at all.

 

 

[Singh2017 191]

 

VJKK VJKF 

 

Sangat Ji, not 15 minutes ago did my mum have this crazy talk with me and these are some of the topics highlighted that she was speaking to me about. Some of the questions she started asking was like "do you dream about god?" "Can you see god?" She thinks I'm turning into some alien. I really don't know what to do. This is not the only test. The family one is a constant one but Maharaj tests me literally every single minute of everyday and that's not even a joke. It's getting so hard and unbearable but I won't lose faith in sikhi ever. It's really getting so tough and it's been like this for about 2 months. 

[Singh2017 191]

2 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

VJKK VJKF

I am going through exactly the same thing! It must still be easier for you though veerji because you are 17 but I am 13 and I am considered as a baby. Just keep doing bani but do not give in. This is your test, you have to pass veerji. I don't live in London but I live in Birmingham but I am also really badly yearning to take amrit. All this bani that you do is making you stronger. Vaheguru is there for you every step of the way. I suggest doing some bir-rass bani but I don't know if you can do it whilst your mum is listening. Just be nice to your mum and when she shouts at you, put your head down and reply humbly, in this way your mum will start to feel bad and she will start to allow you. This will also help you become more humble. Do not take to heart what they say, just jaap Vaheguru in your mind the whole time. If you can jaap Vaheguru in your mind for at least half a day then you are doing well. Never stop doing your bani as this will be the only thing that will help you.

VJKK VJKF

 VJKK VJKF

Hanji, Penji I'm always japping Waheguru no matter what I'm doing for well over half the day and I'm not going to stop anyway. Nothing stops for me it just makes it a lot harder and I hope Maharaj can do kirpa on daas - I have no power at all. 

[simran345 2,503]

2 minutes ago, Singh2017 said:

 

VJKK VJKF 

 

Sangat Ji, not 15 minutes ago did my mum have this crazy talk with me and these are some of the topics highlighted that she was speaking to me about. Some of the questions she started asking was like "do you dream about god?" "Can you see god?" She thinks I'm turning into some alien. I really don't know what to do. This is not the only test. The family one is a constant one but Maharaj tests me literally every single minute of everyday and that's not even a joke. It's getting so hard and unbearable but I won't lose faith in sikhi ever. It's really getting so tough and it's been like this for about 2 months. 

Oh dear, quite a lot going on there. Relax and tell your mother to relax also. Respect her whatever you do, as she’s finding this difficult to deal with. 

No harm in seeing a Gp, explain to your Gp, at least that will rule out what she thinks is wrong. The thing is nobody on here knows what the exact situation is in your household, so if we say do this, do that, it may make things worse. You need to talk to somebody like Basics of Sikhi or Sikh helpline. 

It’s ok to recite Gurbani in front of her if that’s what she wants. Don’t your family go to the Gurdwara at all? If your not confident in reciting in front of her, then play some audio of a shabad or Gurbani and sing/recite along with it. Then the alien won’t appear. 

 

 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Guest Kaur 2 said:

but I live in Birmingham

Wjkk wjkf

I too live in Birmingham. If you get the chance to take amrit there are two sanchars coming up one this Saturday at 10 am in Guru har rai west brom and one on 4th November 4.30pm in Guru Nanak Gurdwara Smethwick

You do not need parental permission but it is your choice.