Jump to content

Guest Inder
 Share

Recommended Posts

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VJKK VJKF

12 hours ago, Guest Inder said:

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

Thats so sad to hear... The truth is that you can only do so much about it; if anything. Now that he's married her he will always think that she is correct. I have had experience with this aswell and I know how it feels. Be respectful to her still and communicate at the minimum with her because you know what she is like and what she will say if you say anything to her. Stay humble. One day your brother will realise what he's done and he will regret it. Keep doing your paath and everything will be fine. Keep your faith in Vaheguru strong, have no doubts about Vaheguru in your heart. I know this sounds really typical but it works. I am dealing with something very similar to you so I am just sharing how I deal with the situation. I hope that this gets better soon and you don't have to deal with all this. 

VJKK VJKF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/15/2018 at 8:28 AM, Guest Inder said:

I've just recently gotten into Sikhi, and need help dealing with a problem at home. I don't know what to do. My brother recently had his "gf" move into our home. She is not an apne, she is Muslim. She always makes rude remarks towards me, if I tell her to do one simple thing she will over exaggerate everything to my brother who will then yell at me, and sometimes even resort to violence. I barely talk now a days. She also steals my clothes and shoes, because she knows I can't do anything about it. I told my parents about it and they don't care. It just saddens me, and ever since she came I have been really angry and been getting attached to world things. I do my path every single day, and simran. What do I do? She is home 24/7 because no work or school.

find out why? she probably has underlying issues, throw her off, be nice and nicer, be her friend, banter her back

remember not everyones after you bro.

If someone is in your life THAT MUCH, THEN FIND OUT WHAT HER GOOD QUALITIES ARE AND HELP EACH OTHER!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Logical Sikh

Dude..... Only Path and Simran not gonna do you any help..... 

Get up and do something abt it..... I think you should try what MAHANDULAI said abt "Banter her Back". 

Believe me ..... Its really fun to give them back the same thing ..... Humorously....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ok you are a female I guess since a girl would only steal a female's clothes . She is NOT a legit member of your family yet just a tagalong to your bro. You only need to be polite/civil for atmosphere however if she is bringing down the harmony in the family and making you miserable you have the right to clap back .

Get your mum to buy you replacements for the missing clothes when she asks why (desi parents are tight with money) you let her know what's been going on  . Guaranteed she's gonna ask for your clothes back from chorni . If Chorni doesn't comply , make sure your bro gets to know (through your Mum) . Put a lock on your room door so when you are not around she cannot rummage through and don't leave stuff lying around if it matters .

Unfortunately you cannot pick your family but you can look after number one better, don't be a soft touch , this is Waheguru sending a lesson to be tougher mentally and fight for your rights . Lean on Guru ji if you feel lonely and down BUT you need to fight your battles else you will be pushed aside by that piece of work and your position usurped. She has ZERO rights to interfere with your family relationships , stay in Chardikala.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 1kiloladdoo

What is  a muslim non married girl doing in your house in the first place?Do your parents approve of this arrangement or are they too scared of your brother?

If anyone is physically violent towards you, I suggest you make a police report.That usually will shake up the individual enough to keep their hands to themselves.

If you have no 'heart' to go to the authorities since he's a family member you could try something else. You say the girl is Muslim.Unmarried.Cohabiting with your non-muslim brother I assume? Just like how you came to this Sikh forum for help, you could go to some Muslim online forum based in your country and spill the beans about this girl there.Give all necessary info to them.The more fanatic the members of that forum are,the better it would be for favorable results.They would be incensed that a muslim girl is committing 'khalwat' and 'zina' which are severely punishable according to Islam and that too with a non-muslim.I am not insinuating or encouraging anything.The best outcome should always be a non-violent one but that is not usually the case in reality.You decide what is best for you.I just want you to stay safe with peace of mind.Take care.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • lol dal panth Panj told me explicitly not to associate with Vadhbhag Singh Sodhi followers!
    • We have lamp (or Jyot) the pure unscented candle for a reason. Traditionally, Patis used candle light (jyot), so they could read SGGS in darkness. Light, elec didn't exist. Dhoop is used to attract the "Good spirits" but also keep freshness where Maharaj will be.  Interestingly and coincidentally I heard Sakhi a few dsys ago. During Dasa Pitha's time these souls were roaming the Earth and even Sangat noticed. Maharaj asked them "y u here?" They replied during recitation of SGGS and making Degh they didn't bother lighting candle. THAT WAS THEE ONLY REASON NO GATI WAS GIVEN TO THEM!!!  AUTHENTICITY NOT CHECKED I heard once on YT like 2 days ago.  If u apply dhoop in one room of your house twice a week u will notice a difference esp in the smell and freshness of that room. 
    • Sangat ji, With the hot weather as per Guru's Hukm, how can we look after our kes?  First of all the beard! Working in Construction, factory and any other heated environment I UNDERSTAND! At my workplace it's over 32 degree celcius and sometimes we have to lift 20kg ALL! DAY! My tips, regularly shampoo the beard during ishnan. APPLY OIL! The technique of applying oil is by rubbing it thoroughly in the roots. Pay attention to the noise esp on the chin. You will hear this "crosh crosh" noise. Keep rubbing oil until u can't hear it no more! This means the oil has blended in properly.  Second tip on beard, keep an extra kanga in your pocket. Every two, three hours give your beard a proper comb down to get rid of any sweat or stickiness. SECOND BENEFIT! Do this all 12 months every single day your beard will look like it's been professionally groomed. TRY IT! People will ask you "What gel u use? How can yer beard be naturally like that?" You can say all I use is coconut oil or whaeva oil but just comb the beard every 2-3 hours for a minute.  As for the kes, morning time get rid of all the gronjra (or knots - forgotten English word), in the morning. However, during evening comb down make sure you get rid of small remaining gronjra and comb yer hair nice and straight. You will feel soooo so relaxed. Yes our hair will go unnoticed due to Dastar, but our hair demands time and self grooming!So proper combing down, spending a good 15-20 mins most evenings is an absolute MUST!  Most evenings I let my hair down and cover hair with my parna for 2-3 hours so it gets to relax from the tying up.  FINAL TIP! We are Sikhs so we keep fighting and remember this! The tradition of Dastar and uncut hair started in India, where the weather is twice as hot. Everytime we bring this thought in the mind, Guru ji will bless us and make us feel cooled down by a notch.  Fateh.       
    • Been so much nindya and attacking Shastarvidiya since the 2000s, however if we look at gatka now it's still mostly as poor and poorly taught as it was back then, still morris dancing moves and still behzti moves in BBC shows about sikhi and vaisakhi. If people were going to attack shastarvidiya, wouldn't have made sense to improve gatka instead and make it more effective? Additionally, the Nihang Singh presence has improved greatly now, and the cracks within the the SGPC and affiliated jatha jathebandis are showing more greatly as panth becomes more knowledgable with dasam bani and itihas day-by-day, so much gyaan which was lost within panjabi sikhs during colonial times. In the 2000s, the groups were able to talk down this bani and  gyaan by associating it with  RSS and hindus, brahminwaad etc. Not working so well now is it? However with gyaan it would be also good for us to try and preserve our martial arts and keertan vidiya as well! More and more crazy keertan videos are coming out from jatha members that are being made fun of and making sangat annoyed and upset, on tiktok and instagram reels.  
    • Author Posted April 24   On 4/21/2025 at 2:43 PM, ipledgeblue said: sirr should not be nanga because keski is usually worn.   Sikhs can sleep nanga-sirr if they choose to . Being from Punjab, almost every Sardaarji i know (amritdhari or not) sleeps/showers with their hair uncovered. I don't think Guru Sahib asked us to wear Dastar to sleep and I don't think it is in SRM.   The idea of "keski being worn to sleep" is cos in Bollywood films (Bachna Ae Haseeno) Sikh characters usually tie a gol parna when sleeping since the actor's usually Hindu. So they gotta cover his head somehow or he'd have cut hair. Same reason Diljit wore a pagg to bed in the El Sueno vid. Only time they didn't do that was in Gadar with Sunny Deol which just looked odd tbh   What in the world? What sikh or even a decent human would base their knowledge of their culture or religion on a movie industry, that too Bollywood?  Believe me, no sikh ever said, I must cover my head becasue an actor did so in a movie. I've been doing it all wrong, I must start covering mh head because the sikh in that movie did.  Just because every panjabi and sardaar you know, does something, also doesn't make it right..  Follow the guru. And if you have a medical condition, then exemptions can be made.  Just admit it, because of my medical condition, I am not able to follow this rehit. Why are you getting everyone else to drop to your level?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use