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Guest Mehar

Rishta

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Guest Mehar

Waheguru Jee Kaa Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh.

I have received a potential arranged marriage rishta from India. The guy is currently living in New Zealand. We have been talking through whatsapp through the blessings of a Saint. My only issue is that he hasn't seen me in person yet so he doesn't know how much facial hairs I have. I've taken amrit so although I fell off rehat, the Gurus have blessed me to come back to the full sikhi saroop, which means I've been keeping those chin hairs. It's taking time for me to become fully secured within myself and embracing those hairs as part of my new normal. As a woman, I'm a bit insecure about how this guy is going to see me when we finally meet in person. He already said yes, but I always gave him vague answers regarding my decisions. I told him about the facial hairs, but I didn't get into the length of it especially about the chin hairs because my mom told me not to talk about those things. So, yesterday, I decided to show him my blog in which I wrote a post titled "Hair: a small surrender." Obviously, the blog is so long and filled with other posts, so I don't think he has read that particular post yet. Anyway, my dilemma is: how do I approach this topic without making it seem as if it's a big deal?  How do I clear my insecurity regarding this? Plus, another thing is that he hasn't taken amrit yet. If he took amrit, then I wouldn't have worried about it. A saint told me that the guy is  a bhagat and a gursikh. Even though he hasn't taken amrit, the sant kind of implied that he is similar to an amritdhari person. In that case, I feel as if he is going to take amrit in the future. As many amritdharis would know, nobody can rush these kinds of things. Nobody can rush anybody into taking amrit. So, I'm very patient and careful about what I say regarding these matters.

 

Also, on another note, personally, I wouldn't have talked to any guy from another country, but the Sant's own beautiful voice was enough to convince me to talk to the Nz guy. Hence, I started talking to him. Now I'm in this position. What can I do? I've been delaying the process on my end, while he is all set to marry. So, I'm now here requesting for the Gurmukhs' opinions regarding all this. I really want Waheguru to clear all my doubts and insecurity before I give my final answer.

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not a gurmukh but have u spoken to him about amrit? r u amritdhari urself? 

one option is to jus show him a picture? if he's both a bhagat and gursikh then it wont be a problem to him otherwise keep searching and dont feel like giving up - there are bibiya out there who have facial fair but married with kids so dnt feel like ur the only one out there...

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Premier Gurmukh checking in! 😂

Sounds like His Holiness is shilling hard for the prospective groom to receive immigration status via marriage. He's probably been paid by the guy's family to facilitate an overseas rishta and potential marriage. These kind of transactions aren't rare but are rarely acknowledged in the wider sangat. OP does seem like they're fan-girling over Baba Ji, and Baba Ji is well aware of this fact and is telling her exactly what she wants to hear.

I'd be suspicious.

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If the Bachola's a true saint, u feel, put yer trust in him (Sant who introduced u both).

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Guest S1ngn1

Penji

I amnot being funny but I don't know who your Sant is. But Waheguru forgive me I don't want to sound disrespectful but what type of Sant would describe a NON Amritdhari individual as a Bhagat/Gursikh? Taking Amrit di daat is becoming a GURU WALA... Becoming a bhagat is a whole different thing. I would be careful what you are getting into... Ask another paji/penji said it sounds as if this "Sant" may have underlining reasons to suggest a AMRITDHARI girl to marry a non Amritdhari. Under Rehat maryada such Anand Karaj is not allowed - atleast you cannot commit to a physical relationship until both of you are Amritdhari. Your Sant sounds fake. Sorry. Smells like bull to me.

If you are going to go through with this rista - as for the facial hair - be straight up. Next time you talk to him tell him straight "Look I have Kes on my face, I keep my rehat and I am not going to cut my Kes. If you are willing to accept me as I am now then you should never let my facial Kes come a issue in our martial life ever." If he accepts fine if not then you know. 

I am a mum to 3 kids I have Kes on my face (not loads but still) I said to my Singh straight (polietly) that this is me, my rehat is above everything. He said he isn't bothered. If a Singh is a real Singh he will expect you to be a real Singhni.

 

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On 5/29/2019 at 9:30 PM, Guest Mehar said:

Waheguru Jee Kaa Khalsa Waheguru Jee Kee Fateh.

I have received a potential arranged marriage rishta from India. The guy is currently living in New Zealand. We have been talking through whatsapp through the blessings of a Saint. My only issue is that he hasn't seen me in person yet so he doesn't know how much facial hairs I have. I've taken amrit so although I fell off rehat, the Gurus have blessed me to come back to the full sikhi saroop, which means I've been keeping those chin hairs. It's taking time for me to become fully secured within myself and embracing those hairs as part of my new normal. As a woman, I'm a bit insecure about how this guy is going to see me when we finally meet in person. He already said yes, but I always gave him vague answers regarding my decisions. I told him about the facial hairs, but I didn't get into the length of it especially about the chin hairs because my mom told me not to talk about those things. So, yesterday, I decided to show him my blog in which I wrote a post titled "Hair: a small surrender." Obviously, the blog is so long and filled with other posts, so I don't think he has read that particular post yet. Anyway, my dilemma is: how do I approach this topic without making it seem as if it's a big deal?  How do I clear my insecurity regarding this? Plus, another thing is that he hasn't taken amrit yet. If he took amrit, then I wouldn't have worried about it. A saint told me that the guy is  a bhagat and a gursikh. Even though he hasn't taken amrit, the sant kind of implied that he is similar to an amritdhari person. In that case, I feel as if he is going to take amrit in the future. As many amritdharis would know, nobody can rush these kinds of things. Nobody can rush anybody into taking amrit. So, I'm very patient and careful about what I say regarding these matters.

 

Also, on another note, personally, I wouldn't have talked to any guy from another country, but the Sant's own beautiful voice was enough to convince me to talk to the Nz guy. Hence, I started talking to him. Now I'm in this position. What can I do? I've been delaying the process on my end, while he is all set to marry. So, I'm now here requesting for the Gurmukhs' opinions regarding all this. I really want Waheguru to clear all my doubts and insecurity before I give my final answer.

Don't marry anyone who you think will make you drop in Sikhi 

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Guest guest

if he's going to be your husband, you need to be able to talk to him straight forwardly and directly (no hesitating).  so start today and just say that this is worrying you.

are you allowed to show him your photo?  have you seen his?

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