Idunnoe

[Guest WJKWJF]

Where do I start?

I'm in my 20's. I'm unemployed, I only completed 2 years of my degree at university and I've spent the last 4 years at home working for 9 months out of those 4 years. Up until recently I was smoking weed whenever I got the chance.

I was admitted to a mental hospital a few years ago for 10 days because of psychosic from marijuana + alchol overdose. after all the medicine they gave me, I have ongoing Erectile Dysfunction and memory loss.

I was also having crazy thoughts about how I was Jesus reincarnated, then when I learned about Sikh faith, I was Guru Nanak reincarnated then Guru Gobind Singh. This problem started when I was reading about Satanism and summoning demons into me.

I thought I'd become a bigshot musician as thats what the voices in my head were telling me, but since I stopped weed I realized i was a goof and I wasted all that time thinking It was going to happen.

 

These days I just feel down and depressed, I'm enrolled in university but I don't feel like going the program doesn't interest me and it would be like 7 more years to get a proper job in the field.

I want to do a trade school job but I don't know what to do.

Everyday I try to do some Waheguru Simran for at least a few minutes. Is it because of bad karma that my life is like this? 

At this point I just want to give up the worldly life and become an Amritdhari. i don't mean moving into a forest but just generally staying away from friends, family, parties, all that jazz...

I cannot speak Punjabi but I have learned how to read it. I'm too lazy to even think about reading any paath. Best I could do is read translations but they don't give the same feeling that the Gurmukhi script does.

Everyday I wake up when it isn't school at like 3pm after a night of aimlessly scrolling through websites. I deleted all my social medias a few months ago.

I just want to die but not yet, first I want to get baptized by the punj pyaare, so I don't go to hell and get beaten by the jamdoots. At the very least I'd like to be reborn into an Amritdhari family, proper Gursikhs. Who knows maybe taking Amrit and following rehit will make me feel better?

Anyone have any advice for me?

[Guest guest]

its not because of your bad karma, its because of your thinking etc.  bad karma is partly due to how you think, and both bad thinking and bad karma can be changed.

you have seen the way your thinking has lead you to by now.  now stop!  drop that old way of thinking.

YOU are responsible for YOUR life.  

don't be thinking about suicide/another life.  you have a life right now.  appreciate it.  don't disregard it.

you mind is unbalanced.  you need to give it appropriate 'food'.  you need to read more about rational thinking, scientific scepticism and the like, to balance your mind.  

the Japanese have a saying 'know your enemy'.  read up about depression and delusion and see if you recognise the clinical symptoms.  then you can identify them as such when they arise, hence over come them.

i suggest you finish your degree.  put some effort and enthusiasm into it.  don't be a 'quitter' unless you have good reason.  your uni gave you an opportunity.  not being interested in the degree is not an excuse.  99% of people are not interested in their line of study /work.  but you keep at it and then you develop an interest in it naturally.  but you have to put some consistent effort in.  do it because that is what a good and humble person would do.

its ok if you don't read paath.  Remember God as you go about your life day and night, ask Him to teach you and guide you, cleanse your heart and live like a good person.  set aside a time for 5 mins to sit and do simran with your eyes closed.  don't do it for any therapeutic result.  just do it as a form of worship.

 

[S1ngh]

3 hours ago, Guest guest said:

I suggest you finish your degree.  put some effort and enthusiasm into it.  don't be a 'quitter' unless you have good reason.  your uni gave you an opportunity.  not being interested in the degree is not an excuse.  99% of people are not interested in their line of study /work....

its ok if you don't read paath.  Remember God as you go about your life day and night, ask Him to teach you and guide you, cleanse your heart and live like a good person.  set aside a time for 5 mins to sit and do simran with your eyes closed. 

 

Here's one veerj is suggesting another veer, not to give up studies and at same time saying its ok if you don't do paath. Our priorities are really skewed.

Dear OP, 

If you want a break from your current lifestyle then take a break. If you want to pause your studies and want to get a part time job and see the other side of the world then go for it. I did that some 15 years ago and i am glad that i did it. You are in the system where you think it is not working. What it is that it is not working. You need to recognize it first and then work on it. Life is short and lots of changes come and go. 10 years from today, you will be in a totally different place that you won't even imagine now. So, fight the stress, fight the negative energy. Find what negativity is around you and smash it. Keep yourself happy and healthy. 

I wish you all good luck and if you want to talk then let me know i am available as your not too old uncle. 

[Guest WJKWJF]

2 hours ago, S1ngh said:

Here's one veerj is suggesting another veer, not to give up studies and at same time saying its ok if you don't do paath. Our priorities are really skewed.

Dear OP, 

If you want a break from your current lifestyle then take a break. If you want to pause your studies and want to get a part time job and see the other side of the world then go for it. I did that some 15 years ago and i am glad that i did it. You are in the system where you think it is not working. What it is that it is not working. You need to recognize it first and then work on it. Life is short and lots of changes come and go. 10 years from today, you will be in a totally different place that you won't even imagine now. So, fight the stress, fight the negative energy. Find what negativity is around you and smash it. Keep yourself happy and healthy. 

I wish you all good luck and if you want to talk then let me know i am available as your not too old uncle. 

Thank you uncle ji.

I already did that, I took a break last year from studies to work. I worked 40 hour weeks for 9 months until I started feeling wonky and resigned. 

I do not want to study for 7+ more years to get a 100k+ job. I grew up poor but in my teens we became quite wealthy. I have seen money, I've seen greed, I've seen what money can, and what money cannot do for oneself. It can make you feel somewhat comfortable, it cannot bring you happiness. Only Sacha Paatshah can do that. Anyways, I want to get a decent paying job so I can make ends meet and save/invest a little every year. I do not need a high status job or whatever those maya chasing dogs call it. 

I do need to go to college as in trade school, but I do not need to study in a university. It's just pointless as my nature has totally changed from when I entered some 6+ years back. I used to be a total manmukh with no direction (chase girls + money), I still am a manmukh but at least now I know the purpose of life.

I have a medical problem that is causing my depression/fatigue and I've been avoiding taking medicines for it. I will go to the doctor to get a prescription tomorrow. this will improve the fatigue/depression. Next I am also a big gym fan, but because my energy was so low it was impossible for the last few years to hit gym hard and consistently. Once the medication takes effect I will have energy for gym. Every day I will go to the gym, do a light workout at minimum and then go home. I will also do naam simran as the above user recommended. I will be careful of too much of this rational thinking stuff, as it is good in theory but sometimes it gets taken too far and one loses faith in Guru's bani. I watched a few videos and the last video I watched, the girl speaking had an extremely anxious energy/vibe, I couldn't watch more than 15 seconds before I exited.

Finally, once my energy improves etc., I will find a good college program and finish a 2-3 year program and with Vaheguru's support I will get a decent job. Hopefully as time progresses I will be able to read and understand more and more Gurbaani, but it is a journey I won't rush myself.

I think I am just reaping as I sowed in previous lives and due to Waheguru's mercy he has given to me a lot at once, while also keeping me attached to the hem of his robe.. It may have looked bad, felt bad but only good can come out of this if I found myself here with sadh sangat. I went through some shitty times throughout my life but I became a good hearted person because of it, and now the Lord of all the created and uncreated realms is giving me a shot at upping my station in the REAL life. Aa life real ni hai gi. Aa life hai dream. Real life is after this life where we get to know where we stand in his sacha darbar. Real life is spiritual life, aa maya kedh real ni hai gi. Dhan Dhan Baba Nanak Ji... you have saved countless sinners like me. I know in my heart this is the true path, I've felt glimpses of bliss here and there that I know was Waheguru's doing.

Saache Paatshah mehar karo, I am a kookar who does not know a thing. But you put me on this planet so you know whats best.

[Guest guest]

23 hours ago, S1ngh said:

Here's one veerj is suggesting another veer, not to give up studies and at same time saying its ok if you don't do paath. Our priorities are really skewed.

how much paath does one need to read?  this guy knows to do simran.  

he suffered form religious delusions.  he does need more religous reading.

he's in his twenties and needs to be able to support himself honestly.

 

[Guest guest]

i mean *does he need more religious reading?

[S1ngh]

On 11/13/2019 at 9:46 PM, Guest WJKWJF said:

Thank you uncle ji.

I already did that, I took a break last year from studies to work. I worked 40 hour weeks for 9 months until I started feeling wonky and resigned. 

I do not want to study for 7+ more years to get a 100k+ job. I grew up poor but in my teens we became quite wealthy. I have seen money, I've seen greed, I've seen what money can, and what money cannot do for oneself. It can make you feel somewhat comfortable, it cannot bring you happiness. Only Sacha Paatshah can do that. Anyways, I want to get a decent paying job so I can make ends meet and save/invest a little every year. I do not need a high status job or whatever those maya chasing dogs call it. 

I do need to go to college as in trade school, but I do not need to study in a university. It's just pointless as my nature has totally changed from when I entered some 6+ years back. I used to be a total manmukh with no direction (chase girls + money), I still am a manmukh but at least now I know the purpose of life.

I have a medical problem that is causing my depression/fatigue and I've been avoiding taking medicines for it. I will go to the doctor to get a prescription tomorrow. this will improve the fatigue/depression. Next I am also a big gym fan, but because my energy was so low it was impossible for the last few years to hit gym hard and consistently. Once the medication takes effect I will have energy for gym. Every day I will go to the gym, do a light workout at minimum and then go home. I will also do naam simran as the above user recommended. I will be careful of too much of this rational thinking stuff, as it is good in theory but sometimes it gets taken too far and one loses faith in Guru's bani. I watched a few videos and the last video I watched, the girl speaking had an extremely anxious energy/vibe, I couldn't watch more than 15 seconds before I exited.

Finally, once my energy improves etc., I will find a good college program and finish a 2-3 year program and with Vaheguru's support I will get a decent job. Hopefully as time progresses I will be able to read and understand more and more Gurbaani, but it is a journey I won't rush myself.

I think I am just reaping as I sowed in previous lives and due to Waheguru's mercy he has given to me a lot at once, while also keeping me attached to the hem of his robe.. It may have looked bad, felt bad but only good can come out of this if I found myself here with sadh sangat. I went through some shitty times throughout my life but I became a good hearted person because of it, and now the Lord of all the created and uncreated realms is giving me a shot at upping my station in the REAL life. Aa life real ni hai gi. Aa life hai dream. Real life is after this life where we get to know where we stand in his sacha darbar. Real life is spiritual life, aa maya kedh real ni hai gi. Dhan Dhan Baba Nanak Ji... you have saved countless sinners like me. I know in my heart this is the true path, I've felt glimpses of bliss here and there that I know was Waheguru's doing.

Saache Paatshah mehar karo, I am a kookar who does not know a thing. But you put me on this planet so you know whats best.

Good luck and keep sharing your views here. 

[S1ngh]

3 hours ago, Guest guest said:

i mean *does he need more religious reading?

There is no quota nor any limit on naam  Jap or recitation of Gurbani. Guru sahib says that we human must remember god -  waheguru in every breath of ours. Every pore of our body should be in rhythm with saas grahas simran of wahe (inhale) guru (exhale) of each and every breath. Breath without remembering God is wasted.

[ssinghuk]

In my opinion to be successful in anything you need a mix of qualities. Self discipline is a must, self motivation is a must and then the correct methodology is must. In one of the may perspectives in life, I learnt the hard way by wasting a lot of time.  

However, having said that, material gain in SatGuru's teachings is like collecting sand. There is an abundance of this at his feet. 

If you want to come on to the path of Sikhi then taking a out an amount of time on a daily basis is a must.