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Sat Sri Akal ji
I lost my son on Tueaday because I had to terminate my pregnancy at 24 weeks gestational age. The abnormalities were not compatible with good quality of life. We didn't want him to suffer throughout his life. We love him so much but had decided to take the sufferings so that he doesn't suffer.  We prayed a lot for this child. He was our first born after 5 years of marriage. So precious to us.  What I know is that this topic is still a taboo and not discussed in Sikhism.

My question is - Even though I know we made the right decision for our child in terms of "medical science", was it acceptable in Sikhism or I have committed a sin? Did I even have the right to end my child's life? What kind of mother am I who killed his own child?

What was the purpose of his life when he never got to exist outside the womb?

Both my husband and I are very humble and never harmed anyone in any way. Then why did God made us go through such suffering? What did we do wrong to deserve child loss?

Is his soul with us? Is he watching us? Or is he waiting for us for us somewhere?

Will I get to have him again in this life and fill the emptiness?

I am looking for peace of mind. Everyone says I have made the right decision but something doesn't feel right.

Please help me to figure out reason behind this.

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ji Fateh
 

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