Jump to content

Sister-in-law believes pakhandi babe and pandit


Guest Gupt sad
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Gupt sad

Sat Sri Akal everyone,

I'm writing to you all because the situation at home is now unbearable.

My elder brother was married to a girl, it didn't go on well between the two and they got a divorce.

My younger brother got married to a girl (from India) and she came at home abroad just a year ago.

The issue is that she, and her mother, go to pandits and pakhandi babe. We did not know that. Any issue happens, they go see the pandit, someone fell off the scooter --> they go ask the pandit why.

And whatever the pandit says (put a coconut during 9 days in some place etc, avoid eating garlic etc) they listen.

My sis in law suffered from some allergy, doctors have not been able to find out the cause, but their pandit did ! He says that my parents are not good and this explains why my elder brother got a divorce etc.

We try not to get involved in my brother and her matters so that she doesn't think we don't support her or whatever.

Yet she blames my parents for not being able to do whatever she wants at home (because we all live together) etc.

Basically she wants my brother and her to live appart. That's okay, my parents will accept that, if it makes them happy.

The issue is that she won't stop believing babe, anything happens she'll blame us for not listening to what the baba warned her about (for example : we cook with garlic, next day she has allergy (without even eating the garlic dish, or even touching it) she'll blame us).

I'm afraid that when she and my brother will have children, she'll start refraining them to wearing some colours, or doing stuff (she won't let her niece wear red colour (??) Because baba said it makes her angry).

Please, how to arrange things while keeping their relationships safe ?

My brother is stuck in the middle, he does not want to separate because it'd hurt my parents to listen to 'lok kya kahenge' that no girl wants to live with their sons etc.

My sis in law's mother and dad blindfoldedly believe pandits and spend half their money on them.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/30/2022 at 4:59 AM, Guest Gupt sad said:

 

I'm afraid that when she and my brother will have children, she'll start refraining them to wearing some colours, or doing stuff (she won't let her niece wear red colour (??) Because baba said it makes her angry).

 

 

Don't worry about the children. As a respected and fun uncle you will have more influence on them than their mother and her superstitious beliefs. Also the kids will be growing up in the west, attending gurudware which will make then more like us westerners. Also when hanging out with the future kids you can build tolerance in them by inocukating them against the pandit stuff. Like pandits think they can predict human behavior from planets that is the fake study of astrology. Don't disparage the mom though when discussing these things. Just say our Gurus have taken us out of this mess of fear and connected us directly with the source. And say we are lucky to be born in the age of science. We can look for explanations etc

Keep the peace in the family. Your brother does need to speak up. But the rest of the family should not. So just let it be. We don't need broken homes or high divorce rates in the community. Sabar is a good quality. Let the mother do the hard work of nurturing the kids. Then you take over the kids mental, spiritual education.  Also don't teach the kids to go against the mother.  Teach the kids to humor her.  Like she wants you to wear a red thread on Tuesdays, how funny.  Try it kids what's the harm its useless.  

Panjabis are our biggest asset.  They are good at making money and having kids.  Most of us in the west ain't getting married or have depression or 1 kids max before we done because we have lame jobs or are not willing to work hard.   Let the panjabis multiply, we can recruit kids from that during camps etc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe your brother should explain the basic foundations of Sikhi to her? 

Explain to her that we only believe in Vaaheguru, the ten Guru Sahiban and Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and all the guidance we need in our life in Guru Sahibs baani.  Explain to her that for a Sikh we only turn to Guru Jee for guidance and going to pandits, babe etc is out of Gurmat and is manmat.  If that don’t work (as sometimes when families explain things people at times tend to not take it as serious) there’s loads of videos on YouTube Basics of Sikhi channel Gurmat Bibek channel etc. you can show her.  
I would also add when or if your brother says it to her he should say it with firm vishvaash in what he says I.e. he should also believe and accept Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and follow Guru sahibs hukam.  I would start that conversation (whenever she mentions the pandit again with ‘eh Sikha da kamm nahi ah’ and take it from there.  

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Definitely the Guru Sahibs would be a heavier Scriptures to handle. Dasam Granth is more towards Bir Rass, Guru Gobind Singh showed his Greatness (of course, they would never say this) by separating his own Baania.  And the BIGGEST test of all?? Do we try and read Dasam Granth, Understand n show respect like we do to SGGS? Or... Do we QUESTION it? Guru Gobind Singh Ji is testing us. 
    • My wife will be going for an MRI scan next week but her Kara won’t physically come off.  Is there any way the mri scan can be done with the Kara still on?  The alternative is we will have to try to saw it off before the scan.  
    • was researching this and came back to this thread. Also found an older thread:    
    • Net pay after taxes. If you don't agree, think about this: If you were a trader and started off in China with silk that cost 100 rupees and came to India, and you had to pay total 800 rupees taxes at every small kingdom along the way, and then sold your goods for 1000 rupees, you'd have 100 rupees left, right? If your daswandh is on the gross, that's 100 rupees, meaning you have nothing left. Obviously, you owe only 10% of 100, not 10% of 1000. No, it's 10% before bills and other expenses. These expenses are not your expenses to earn money. They are consumption. If you are a business owner, you take out all expenses, including rent, shop electricity, cost of goods sold, advertising, and government taxes. Whatever is left is your profit and you owe 10% of that.  If you are an employee, you are also entitled to deduct the cost of earning money. That would be government taxes. Everything else is consumption.    
    • No, bro, it's simply not true that no one talks about Simran. Where did you hear that? Swingdon? The entire Sikh world talks about doing Simran, whether it's Maskeen ji, Giani Pinderpal Singh, Giani Kulwant Singh Jawaddi, or Sants. So what are you talking about? Agreed. Agreed. Well, if every bani were exactly the same, then why would Guru ji even write anything after writing Japji Sahib? We should all enjoy all the banis. No, Gurbani tells you to do Simran, but it's not just "the manual". Gurbani itself also has cleansing powers. I'm not saying not to do Simran. Do it. But Gurbani is not merely "the manual". Reading and singing Gurbani is spiritually helpful: ਪ੍ਰਭ ਬਾਣੀ ਸਬਦੁ ਸੁਭਾਖਿਆ ॥  ਗਾਵਹੁ ਸੁਣਹੁ ਪੜਹੁ ਨਿਤ ਭਾਈ ਗੁਰ ਪੂਰੈ ਤੂ ਰਾਖਿਆ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ The Lord's Bani and the words are the best utterances. Ever sing hear and recite them, O brother and the Perfect Guru shall save thee. Pause. p611 Here Guru ji shows the importance of both Bani and Naam: ਆਇਓ ਸੁਨਨ ਪੜਨ ਕਉ ਬਾਣੀ ॥ ਨਾਮੁ ਵਿਸਾਰਿ ਲਗਹਿ ਅਨ ਲਾਲਚਿ ਬਿਰਥਾ ਜਨਮੁ ਪਰਾਣੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ The mortal has come to hear and utter Bani. Forgetting the Name thou attached thyself to other desires. Vain is thy life, O mortal. Pause. p1219 Are there any house manuals that say to read and sing the house manual?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use