Jump to content

Sister-in-law believes pakhandi babe and pandit

Guest Gupt sad

Recommended Posts

Guest Gupt sad

Sat Sri Akal everyone,

I'm writing to you all because the situation at home is now unbearable.

My elder brother was married to a girl, it didn't go on well between the two and they got a divorce.

My younger brother got married to a girl (from India) and she came at home abroad just a year ago.

The issue is that she, and her mother, go to pandits and pakhandi babe. We did not know that. Any issue happens, they go see the pandit, someone fell off the scooter --> they go ask the pandit why.

And whatever the pandit says (put a coconut during 9 days in some place etc, avoid eating garlic etc) they listen.

My sis in law suffered from some allergy, doctors have not been able to find out the cause, but their pandit did ! He says that my parents are not good and this explains why my elder brother got a divorce etc.

We try not to get involved in my brother and her matters so that she doesn't think we don't support her or whatever.

Yet she blames my parents for not being able to do whatever she wants at home (because we all live together) etc.

Basically she wants my brother and her to live appart. That's okay, my parents will accept that, if it makes them happy.

The issue is that she won't stop believing babe, anything happens she'll blame us for not listening to what the baba warned her about (for example : we cook with garlic, next day she has allergy (without even eating the garlic dish, or even touching it) she'll blame us).

I'm afraid that when she and my brother will have children, she'll start refraining them to wearing some colours, or doing stuff (she won't let her niece wear red colour (??) Because baba said it makes her angry).

Please, how to arrange things while keeping their relationships safe ?

My brother is stuck in the middle, he does not want to separate because it'd hurt my parents to listen to 'lok kya kahenge' that no girl wants to live with their sons etc.

My sis in law's mother and dad blindfoldedly believe pandits and spend half their money on them.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 9/30/2022 at 4:59 AM, Guest Gupt sad said:


I'm afraid that when she and my brother will have children, she'll start refraining them to wearing some colours, or doing stuff (she won't let her niece wear red colour (??) Because baba said it makes her angry).



Don't worry about the children. As a respected and fun uncle you will have more influence on them than their mother and her superstitious beliefs. Also the kids will be growing up in the west, attending gurudware which will make then more like us westerners. Also when hanging out with the future kids you can build tolerance in them by inocukating them against the pandit stuff. Like pandits think they can predict human behavior from planets that is the fake study of astrology. Don't disparage the mom though when discussing these things. Just say our Gurus have taken us out of this mess of fear and connected us directly with the source. And say we are lucky to be born in the age of science. We can look for explanations etc

Keep the peace in the family. Your brother does need to speak up. But the rest of the family should not. So just let it be. We don't need broken homes or high divorce rates in the community. Sabar is a good quality. Let the mother do the hard work of nurturing the kids. Then you take over the kids mental, spiritual education.  Also don't teach the kids to go against the mother.  Teach the kids to humor her.  Like she wants you to wear a red thread on Tuesdays, how funny.  Try it kids what's the harm its useless.  

Panjabis are our biggest asset.  They are good at making money and having kids.  Most of us in the west ain't getting married or have depression or 1 kids max before we done because we have lame jobs or are not willing to work hard.   Let the panjabis multiply, we can recruit kids from that during camps etc

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe your brother should explain the basic foundations of Sikhi to her? 

Explain to her that we only believe in Vaaheguru, the ten Guru Sahiban and Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and all the guidance we need in our life in Guru Sahibs baani.  Explain to her that for a Sikh we only turn to Guru Jee for guidance and going to pandits, babe etc is out of Gurmat and is manmat.  If that don’t work (as sometimes when families explain things people at times tend to not take it as serious) there’s loads of videos on YouTube Basics of Sikhi channel Gurmat Bibek channel etc. you can show her.  
I would also add when or if your brother says it to her he should say it with firm vishvaash in what he says I.e. he should also believe and accept Siri Guru Granth Sahib Jee and follow Guru sahibs hukam.  I would start that conversation (whenever she mentions the pandit again with ‘eh Sikha da kamm nahi ah’ and take it from there.  


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Hey bro, by Vaheguru ji kirpa you are doing incredibly well. You received Amrit at young age, and from Sri Anandpur Sahib, wow that’s awesome! Amrit doesn’t ‘break’.  All young people are the same, kaam is strong at that age. As for feeling down, honestly every person in this world is miserable and down. Life is harsh and unpredictable. Death doesn’t always come in old age it can come at any time. Daas is not from any Sikhi background at all. My younger brother passed when I was 9, that’s what started spiritual curiosity. Religion is a game, spiritually is something different. Maybe life has to be unduly cruel to show you deeper things.  The purpose of human life was to merge back with Vaheguru. Kulyug, maya, 5 vikaar are absolute snakes which wrapped themselves around people to distract them of that purpose. Bro Vaheguru expressed his love towards you by arranging you meet Satguru ji. Now you gotta take strength and fight. Your strength will come from gurbani, sangat, seva, simran, keertan, katha. Sikhi history will give strength too.  Guru Sahib Ji loves you so much, he sacrificed his chaar sahibzade for YOU. Focus on your relationship with Guru Sahib Ji. Love him back and trust him. ❤️
    • No your amrit has not "broken" if you haven't committed any of kurehit of tann, physically. You mention kaam and mann, so I assume it is chetvan kaam. Worst you can get is a tankhah from panj piare otherwise. Biggest influence on your mann will be sangat around you, be sure to filter through your sangat and environment. Keep your head up Singh. 
    • Maharaj, any updates? Daas is planning on doing the same in the coming future.
    • Guest faseyahoya
      So I am 16 and was blessed with khande di pauhl exactly 1.5 months ago at anandpur sahib. Before that, I practiced everything a khalsa would do. nitnem, chastity, naam abhyas, etc. I have a pretty good image in public and people. Before, i felt like guru is very much near me, but now I feel like i am being seperated from him. I still do nitnem but i really want to defeat kaam and other evils. I read other threads but I feel like this is the only option left. I quit social media for 6 months but now my manmukh mind is back at it. I have committed no kurehit. Please tell me my amrit is not broken.
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use