GIRFRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS

[Guest Surinder Singh]

I've noticed that there is many Amritdhari Singhs and Singhnis who have relationships with each other. Is this right? I am an amritdhari Singh and this Amritdhari Singhni asked me out many times but I think it isn't a right thing to do. One excuse she makes is that I bring her closer to Sikhi and I just don't know anymore I am so confused.

[Gupt daasan daas]

veer je

there is no need to b confused

maya can confuse u

but whoever obeys guru jes hukam and has prem with akaal cannot be confused

guru je has given u the answer already veer je

dyiK prweIAW cMgIAW mwvW BYxW DIAW jwxY ]

"Men should look at the opposite sex as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite sex as fathers, brothers and sons)."

(//. 29, Pauri 11, Bhai Gurdas ji)

dont listen to that bibi

show her this thuk

this is a straightup thing

noo escuses around it

bhula chuka maf

[Guest Guest]

When other people do something it doesn't mean they are right. That is totally wrong...... manmat

[Guest pompy]

I am in a similar situation and im beginning to think its wrong too..don't get into something like that..as gupt dasaan daas said stay away

[sat_naam18]

I think it is fine to have a relationship with somebody but one that does not necessarily have to be "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" based. What I mean by that is its okay if you talk to this girl and become good friends with her if you are interested. Especially if you two are both amrith dharee, I think it it is a great way to guide each other and you can always have someone to talk to about Sikhi. That should be one of the key aspects. Also, its best to restrain from physical contact because it will just distract you and can easily lead to lust. Other than that...I don't see anything wrong with it. I know many people who have "relationships" like this and it works for them...

[jss]

tell her to have her people contact your people when you're both at a point in your life to get married...

[Sinner]

WJKK WJKF

Take a look at a recent topic about GF and BF, u may find your answer in here:

http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?showtopic=11951&hl=

Also, here is my response:

WJKK WJKF

Well... there was that one time when I got really drunk in a bar... lol only joking!!

I don’t see any problem in having the opposite sex as your friends.

I’m not saying that u should go out on a mission asking gals and guys to be your m8s!! I’m saying; as long as u don’t have a messed up mind and u don’t wana try stuff, then it’s all cool.

I have just as much gals as I have dudes as friends. Just like Inderpal said, people do get the wrong idea. But as long as u don’t get wrong ideas, then who cares what others think – u can’t please everyone – even if u tried!!

I mean, just think of it like this, the person you’re going out with may have a bro and a sis. You wouldn’t like it if someone goes out with your bro or sis - I wouldn’t like it if someone was checking my sis. In fact, unless they are serious about each other and are gonna get married; id slit the dude’s throat- sorry for being graphic!!

But seriously, just keep cool, and remember don’t do something that u wouldn’t like done to yourself. Man I feel old now...

[Guest Guest]

veer je

there is no need to b confused

maya can confuse u

but whoever obeys guru jes hukam and has prem with akaal cannot be confused

guru je has given u the answer already veer je

dyiK prweIAW cMgIAW mwvW BYxW DIAW jwxY ]

"Men should look at the opposite sex as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite sex as fathers, brothers and sons)."

(//. 29, Pauri 11, Bhai Gurdas ji)

dont listen to that bibi

show her this thuk

this is a straightup thing

noo escuses around it

bhula chuka maf

109522[/snapback]

Wjkk Wjkf, veerji.

One peice of advice, listen to Gupt Daasan Daas Ji. That quote, is exactly what u need, to make u "un-confused" lets say, hehe. Take care

Wjkk wjkf

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

sinner veer ji has sed it all, well sed paji, well sed

[Guest From Tapoban]

Author: !

Date: 07-20-05 08:55

People often say that the most detrimental of all mistakes a Sikh could make is to get involved in a relationship with the opposite sex. This doesn't necessarily mean being physically involved, but even something as "harmless" as developing feelings for another person outside of marriage can cost you everything. It seems almost impossible to recover after such a mistake. Even months and months later, there seems to be no escape in sight from all the damage it causes on a spiritual level.

There was once a young Singh, perhaps in his early 20's, who used to do sevaa in Punj Pyaaray with Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh Jee. What a high avastha that youth must have had to do sevaa amongst such chardi kalaa Gursikhs. Bhai Sahib used to warn this youth to limit his interactions and communications with the opposite sex. He was warned to be careful and to talk to bibiaan less.

However, this youth, like many of us, probably gave himself a lot of credit. He probably doubted that he could fall prey to the enticement of maya and doubted he would be tempted by kaam.

But, lo and behold, he fell. And very badly, too. He committed such a grave mistake that warranted presenting himself before the Punj Pyaaray to seek forgiveness.

He traveled to a Smaagam to get peshed, but the Punj Pyaaray there told him to return to his hometown and get peshed there in a local Amrit Sinchaar. This youth however was extremely ashamed of his mistake and had too much pride to present himself before his local Sangat. So, instead of getting peshed and trying to continue on with his Sikhi, this Singh disappeared altogether and no one ever saw or heard from him again. Some say that he committed suicide since he was never seen again.

Drastic measures? I think not. It just shows how grave the mistake can be and just how detrimental it is, often to the point of no return.

This youth didn't heed Bhai Sahib's advice to steer clear of being close with the opposite gender, so who would heed my advice now? All I can say is that the stakes are very high and if a Singh of such a high spiritual avastha can fall, what makes us think we can't? I see so many youth today who are clearly emotionally attached and involved with one another in the form of a "crush" if not more. They think they are safe and their relationships are acceptable and they won't cross the line by falling prey to kaam.

But I say you've already fallen once you've developed feelings of this nature for a member of the opposite sex. And I tell you, it could happen to anyone, so it's best to be vigilant. We are all like wax that will easily melt when placed in the vicinity of fire. We're better off keeping a distance from the flame because after melting, there's no going back. Try as you might, sometimes it seems that the damage is irreparable.