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Premi5 last won the day on April 8

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About Premi5

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    Har Amrit Sajjan Mayraa

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  1. Premi5

    Terror attack in Sri Lanka

    These incidents all happen only because Authorised by government special services
  2. Premi5

    Most beautiful Women in world?

    What has this got to do with Sikhi?
  3. Premi5

    Hindus attack Gurdwara

    But why?
  4. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/stories-47562252 At 27, Minreet Kaur married a man she had met through a Sikh temple in west London. It turned out to be a disaster, and within a year she was back home with her parents. For 10 years now she has been hoping to find another husband, but has reached a bitter conclusion: most Sikh men don't want to marry a divorcee. "If you divorce me, you will never marry again," my husband shouted at me before I left him. He said it to hurt me, but he knew it could turn out to be true. And so did I. Divorce is shameful in the Sikh community, especially for women. To begin with I was ashamed myself. I felt dirty and used. How could I look at another man when I knew he would regard me as used goods? Other people reinforced this feeling. My grandma in London told me I should have worked at my marriage, even though she knew what I had been through. My dad's family in India said they were disappointed that I was home; I was a disgrace to them. My parents supported me 100% but I felt I had let them down. For five years I hardly went out, but in 2013 I started to look again for a partner. When I asked people to look out for a partner. When I asked people to look out for a suitable man for me they would often be happy to help. They would start asking questions - how old I was, where I lived, where I worked - but as soon as told them I was divorced, their facial expression changed. It was a look that said, "we can't help you". My marriage had been semi-arranged. People kept telling me I was getting old and putting pressure on me to marry, so I asked the temple in Southall to introduce me to someone. After my divorce, when I started looking for a new husband, I went to the Hounslow temple to register in its matrimonial book. I knew the temple would only introduce me to members of my own caste, even though caste isn't important to me. But what I didn't know was that, since I was a divorcee, they would only introduce me to divorced men. Once the volunteer saw my details on the form I had filled in he said: "Here are two men who are divorced - they are the only ones suitable for you. But in at least two temples I have seen divorced men being introduced to women who have never previously married. So why can't divorced women be introduced to men who have not been married before? It's as though men can never be responsible for a divorce, only women. I asked the man in charge of the Hounslow temple's matrimonial service, Mr Grewal, to explain this to me and he told me it wasn't his choice - it was the men looking for a bride, and their parents, who said they didn't want a divorcee. "They are not going to accept divorce, as it shouldn't happen in the Sikh community, if we follow the faith," he said. But actually Sikhs do get divorced sometimes, just like everyone else. The 2018 British Sikh Report says that 4% have been divorced and another 1% have separated. Some of those who admit to having been divorced may have remarried, but I'm quite sure that a larger number tick the "single" box even though they are divorced - it's such a taboo. As divorce becomes more common, attitudes will most likely change. Younger people have told me it's not such a big issue for them. But in my generation, even people who have divorced sisters or daughters in their own family will still judge another divorced woman outside their family. These are the kinds of things people say to me: "You are too old to have kids, you are going to find it hard to meet someone now - you've left it too late. You should just find anyone and marry them." (Actually, at 38 I'm not too old to have children. It's just another prejudice.) Sometimes I'm told: "Min, it's going to be very difficult to meet someone in the UK, you're better off meeting someone in India." When my mum asked one of her friend's sons if he knew anyone for me, he told us I was like a "scratched car". I know I have made things difficult for myself by looking not just for a Sikh but for a turbanned Sikh. There are more than 22,000 Sikhs in Hounslow, so probably 11,000 are men. Only a small proportion of them are in the right age group, and unmarried. And of those who are, many don't wear a turban. The turban is important to me, though. Faith is important to me - the Sikh faith that says that men and women are equal and that we should not judge one another. I don't want to meet men who are just out for a laugh and don't want to settle down. But nor do I want to meet men who want a housekeeper rather than a wife, and ask questions like, "can you cook?" the first time we meet. I am an independent person who wants a partner for companionship. Last month I was introduced to someone through a friend. It was a familiar story. He said he wasn't interested in a divorcee. He was in his 40s, but he expected women to come with no history. After meeting about 40 different men over the last 10 years, it's only in the last few months that I have begun to think about considering non-turbanned Sikhs, and even non-Sikhs. Some of my friends have already taken this step. By telling my story I am hoping I will help to remove the stigma of being a divorced woman. Maybe it will encourage more women to speak up. And if women are trapped in an abusive marriage because of the taboo of divorce, I would urge them to leave. We are human beings, and we deserve to be treated equally.
  5. Do you think all the white women who have kids with black men in the UK consider it marrying/'parenting' up?
  6. If we knew about directly about our past lives how different would life be? Would we be more understanding of all the difficult times we face and the lessons we must learn? Or would it be too dangerous for our psyche to know about all the relationships we have had with those close in our lives in the past?
  7. Premi5

    Michael J

    Malkit Singh MBE (not Sir) The 'MP' was actually a conservative party donor, but agree what you say.. Re. grooming gangs, this is close enough https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-47245797 Image copyrightUK PARLIAMENT Image captionLord Nazir Ahmed denies all the allegations against him A member of the House of Lords has been accused of exploiting his position to pursue sex with vulnerable women who asked him for help, Newsnight reveals. One woman said Lord Nazir Ahmed of Rotherham "took advantage" and began a sexual relationship with her after she approached him for assistance.
  8. Two examples https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/geeta-sidhu-robb ; https://www.standard.co.uk/news/how-mother-built-her-life-up-again-from-ruin-to-riches-6852084.html http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/bbcthree/2011/10/cv-tina-daheley.shtml
  9. Premi5

    Muslim Divorce Rate: lessons to be learned

    What war zone? I am not aware of one
  10. Premi5

    Things you never see

    I think it is just the reputation of German cars, and in reality no Sikhs care for World War 2 and the Germans of that time. This is not true. It is seen as a massive deal to be driving Merv/BMW/Audi/Range Rover in my experience
  11. Premi5

    Things you never see

    How many Sikhs live in the millwall catchment area - not many. There are quite a few near Charlton though but Charlton are a small club traditionally so not many Sikh fans. Also, you can apply this to most clubs who are traditionally not top flight teams, unlike wolves.
  12. Premi5

    ISIS: Returning to the West

    I think only if you have dual citizenship
  13. Premi5

    Inderjeet singh jeenus

    Meant as a joke He is an embarrassment
  14. https://www.easterneye.biz/-16/ (*On Sky channel 142 on Thirsday this week) A high-profile honour killing case of a British Sikh woman who was taken to India by her UK-based family and then killed in Punjab over 20 years ago is set to be revived as a television documentary this week. Surjit Kaur Athwal was perceived as bringing shame on her conservative Sikh in-laws from west London and taken to Punjab in December 1998 on the pretext of attending family weddings, where she was killed. The 27-year-old’s mother-in-law Bachan Athwal and husband Sukhdave Athwal were sentenced to prison terms of 15 years and 20 years, respectively, for their role in her murder in 2007.
  15. Premi5

    Inderjeet singh jeenus

    I think he should boycott this joker

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