Sangat Ji...jus A Little Advice Would Be Nice.

[Slave2uAll]

hey everyone wjkk wjkf.

This is my first post! ive been visiting this site quite abit but only now have signed up....but anyway... recently a my member of my family passed away and it has been really difficult. i dont know wot to do. i feel useless. i dont know how i can type this on here without making it sound stupid so here it goes! i cant sleep. i cant eat. i cant think i cant do nothing. sumtimes when i do my nitnem i get distracted and i cannot focus. ive been doing alot of simran and reading gurbani to help me latly, and it does make me feel better but when i stop it just all goes down hill again. :ysad: it really sucks im sick of it and sick of myself. i end up crying for ages and just dont know who to talk to. i try to read as much bani as possible and it really does make sence, the attachment etc. but its just to hard to control :ysad: if nebody could give me some advice, it would be much appreciated.

wjkk wjkf

[Shaheed]

i guess its cuz your thinking you lost them.......when you didnt....i dont know what role this person played in your life....but im sure you know what kind of person they were soo if your in any situation where u need the person for help...im sure youd know what they would tell you......

besides death isnt the end ...give it time youll be alrightt

[sher_panjabi]

Penji/ veer ji its all part of Waheguru's Hukam - understanding that is the Key to your situation.

Your relative has only left his or her "human body" - the soul is eternal, the soul is part of Waheguru, the soul can never die.

<_<

Where the soul goes - depends on the actions of individual... only Waheguru knows! So no point thinking about it.

May Guru Ji guide and bless you.

All the best penji / veer ji

[Kumi2]

gurfateh jio

we have all lost some one yeah but the thing u should think is they have got there y am i still here u know that they have done a lot of bagtie yeah so think they have got there y am i still here when some think when some like this happens this is when u start to kill the bani i mean hardcore killing it solid amritvelamore bani as nitnem

[S1ngh]

Wahegurooo

Veerjee, first of all everything that happens here is by the will of waheguru jee and nobody can understand why it happen and why "this happen to ONLY him/her". The time you are going through is hard and its more harder to adjust yourself to the normal settings of your life. Time will heal, just go with the flow, it's human nature to be that way, you are not different than many of us. All you can do is be strong and support other members of family and take it as the sweet will of God. On the other hand, its also good to keep the emotions out in open, building up the emotion inside for long period of time can be really stressful and so on.. I would recommend you to visit gurdwara daily (if it's close to your home), make a trip to Darbar sahib, amritsar just to bring change in you or in your family and attend full day in darbar sahib. Just do something which takes you or your family away from things which reminds you of the deceased one. Hope this helps. Sorry about it bruv but trust waheguru jee and i feel your pain.. Stay in chardi kala and help others. may waheguru bless you & ur family. waheguru jee ka khalsa waheguru jee ke fateh

[rKr]

My response is pretty much like the others.

Whatever is to happen in this life is all in His will. He's orchestrating this play in a way that only He know's about and nothing in His will is going to bring us harm.

However, saying that is just easy...

"suhela kehen kahavan, thera bikham pavan"

It's easy to Speak and Talk, But Difficult to accept your Will.

It takes a lot to move on. Human nature, and the way we are means that we form these attachments, which is why ultimately we hurt.

Time, and Love are a great healer. Time spent in rememberance of His name will build up your love. When you build up your love, the pain get's easier, as we start to accept His will.

What you must remember is that, thou times are hard, and the world is full of reminders of times gone by - there is only One who can help you and although the path is hard. He's with you all the time. Take his name, and really concentrate on it - like you've said yourself, you're finding when reciting bani it helps... keep doing it, don't give up. Any time you're finding things are going downhill, take his Name. Just simply repeat Vaheguru in every breath... you'll see the pathway become clearer...

Forgive me for my mistakes.

Just my ramblings.

Vaheguru Jio.

[smartsingh24]

To grieve is natural, and it seems to me that you've only lost this person recently. Like s1ingh bhaji said, time will heal wounds. The important thing is that the person you've lost is just progressing. Death isn't the end, in some ways it's only the beginning. What many people lose sight of, is that Death isn't the end of life, it's just another part of it. Yeah, it'll hurt, and probably hurt for a while. Just keep on doing what you're doing now, simran and gurbani.

[Guest Lohgarh Singh]

wjkk wjkf

paji, lets start by not disin urself, ye? we all go through this time. its natural you will feel greif, do naam simran if not, then dont think of anything at all, just relax. hey, at least you got your paath with you, i didnt have much at all. time is a great healer. feel free to ad me to your messenger if you want to talk, im by your side brother.

[GuruJiDiPyari]

Here is a poem our sister left behind for us:

Loss

There are many forms of loss. The loss of a friend.

The loss of something valuable.

The death of a family member.

The death of a pet. Loss is painful.

For if it wasn't, it wouldn't be considered a loss.

Loss can hurt a lot.

Or it can hurt a little.

Sometimes the pain is so great that one thinks they will never get over it.

They feel as if their whole world has ended. Loss can have a great effect on people, but I think we can all gain something from it.

I don't think loss should make us weaker.

It should make us stronger.

I think this because, when one loses something, they learn from it.

They learn a lot more than they realize.

They learn to deal with emotional pain.

They learn to live without what they've lost.

I think it is important for every person on this earth to be able to do these two things because if one always needs someone or something,

then they are not independent.

We cannot be dependent on things all of the time.

Dealing with emotional pain is something that makes us strong on the inside.

It helps us deal with things that upset us.

Suppose someone learned to do this after the loss of someone important to them.

It would help them deal with things in the future.

Loss can hurt.

But it can help heal.

It weakens,then strenghtens.

Lossing something can help us gain something.

By: Rena Kaur

Waheguru...

kabeer marathaa marathaa jag mooaa mar bhee n jaaniaa koe ||

Kabeer, dying, dying, the whole world has to die, and yet, none know how to die.

aisae maranae jo marai bahur n maranaa hoe ||29||

Let those who die, die such a death, that they shall never have to die again. ||29||

Veer/ bhenji, hope you can accept Waheguru jee's bhana.

Hukam rajaee chalna, Nanak likhya naal.

Waheguru jee ka halsa Waheguru jee ki fateh!

[Manmohan Kaur]

I'd like to apologise in advance as my knowledge is limited. I cannot guide you through Baani only through what i have been taught and what I believe.

Loosing someone is difficult, we all know that but unfortunately I believe we have to look beyond ourselves and the pain that we are feeling. As Sikhs we believe in the cycle of births and deaths, this body is only our Harimandir Sahib whilst we are on this Earth when we pass on it means nothing (hence the cremation) as it is only our soul which moves on.

When someone passes away, we have to mourn with respect, respect for their soul. It's difficult not to cry, but you need to understand that by crying you disturb the soul that is trying to move on in a sense calling it back to us and we cannot do that.

As you know through practise, reciting Baani is the best form of mourning and if you are reciting for the deceased you are actually helping their soul to move on in a better way.

You are so lucky. So many people blame Waheguru or drift away from Waheguru in difficult times but you have been blessed with naam, you've been given such a wonderful thing, embrace it with everything you have.

If possible take Hukam each day to help guide you in this difficult time. If you cannot go to the Gurdwara then simply use a site on the internet (the only one I know is www.sikhitothemax.com) to get a Hukamnama for the day.

These things take time. I'm sure the person who passed on would not have wanted to see you in such a state, they would want you to pray for them, pray for naam and move on with your life, no one can ever take your memories away from you so cherish those and be happy that you had the pleasure of knowing this person as I'm sure they had a positive influence on your life.

Be happy for what you were given, the love and happiness you received from this person, there are too many people in this world who have never known the type of love, happiness and guidance we all have!!!

I hope I have not said anything wrong or offensive, if i have I apologise this was not my intent, please forgive me as you would your little sister.

Guru Fateh Ji