How To Combat Sikhs Dating Outside The Religion?

[sikh supreme]

How do we combat Sikhs dating outside the religion? in particular punjabi girls who seem to be easily led astray like sheep by muslim guys who use and abuse them thinking they getting one over the Sikhs.

Is it an image problem? Turbanned Sikh guys seen as too religious and backwards with their dastaars, their kirpan, their uncut hair long flowing hair,etc.

Because I've also noticed on most Sikh marriage sites most girls perfer Sikh guys who are shaved and have short cut hair. Is this a sign of the times? As more and more guys are trimming/cutting their hair to conform to the ideals of most females and modern western thinking society.

Is it simply a process of natural selection, the weak being weeded out and only the strong remain?

Any thoughts?

138366[/snapback]

Gurufateh!

This seems to be a big problem in today's society. Many males shy away from keeping unshorn hair and beards as this is not seen as normal in a western society. In our own communities (well I've noticed), people look upon you as backward etc if you grow your hair/beard. I have been growing my hair and beard now for a few months as I feel that I am worthy of having a kesh and wearing a turban. Hopefully, one day with Waheguru's kirpa, I will take amrit and become one of the Khalsa Panth. Anyway, members of my own family (not my internal family) have made comments and started calling me 'Sant' etc which annoys me and I combat this by quoting Gurbani and Guru Gobind Singh regarding kesh.

One problem is that people in the UK are to westernised and those of us who want to follow the ways of Sikhi are looked upon as abnormal. However, I say to the Sangat be proud of your Sikhi and wear your turban and beard with pride. When I tie my turban, I feel proud that I am doing so.

A further example is seen on weddings. Many grooms (who otherwise shave and cut their hair) arrive at the Gurudwara wearing a turban and having a beard of some sort (whether it be stubble growth or a shaped-out beard etc). Why does no-one make these comments then? I feel that these people do so because they think that they can be in the presence of the Guru in man's natural form. What they don't realise is that Waheguru is present everywhere and will also be there when you shave or trim your beard of after the Anand Karaj has taken place.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

138417[/snapback]

Well said... I think also we should take a look at our muslim male counterparts. The seriously religious guys have beards and take their religion seriously but we have in our community guys who look like religious sikh sardars but their lifestyle is anything but religious. They drink, they go clubs they get upto all kinds of vices. If these guys wonna take part in punjabi or western culture maybe they should shed their religious identity (the dastaar and kesh) insted of devaluing it with their actions.

[sikh supreme]

lol i thought the weak and strong thing statement meant something completely different to what another has interpreted it to mean.

i thought he meant that the strong sikhs are known because they keep their kesh and the weak ones dont so we have the weak ones weeded out...good in my opinion and soz if confused anyone

138494[/snapback]

SSM you may be right. Sorry bro if i confused it. I will always admit my mistakes. Plz forgive

138614[/snapback]

Yes as SSM and LostSoul put it thats what i ment. That sikhs who keep the kesh are the strong and those who don't and give in to western conformity are the weak, sorry for not making it absolutely clear that you took it the other way. :TH:

[SSM]

lol i thought the weak and strong thing statement meant something completely different to what another has interpreted it to mean.

i thought he meant that the strong sikhs are known because they keep their kesh and the weak ones dont so we have the weak ones weeded out...good in my opinion and soz if confused anyone

138494[/snapback]

SSM you may be right. Sorry bro if i confused it. I will always admit my mistakes. Plz forgive

138614[/snapback]

no one apologise to me for any mistakes cos we al learning and there are a million ways to interpret something, u may actually be right and me wrong lol.

[Sinister]

YESSSSSS

the week are being weeded out!!!!

There is a study done on this (I am sure), Humanity (and that includes the opposite sex) are going through SEXUAL SELECTION.

the theory states that both male and females are more attracted to people with LESS hair!!!!

Why?:

the theory states that this can be explained via divergeant evolution thesis, we are perferring people with less hair because humanity is distinguishing itsel from its earlier ancestors (primates).

sounds like a pretty sound thesis to me~ but I have no opinion on the matter.

[randip singh]

How do we combat Sikhs dating outside the religion? in particular punjabi girls who seem to be easily led astray like sheep by muslim guys who use and abuse them thinking they getting one over the Sikhs.

Is it an image problem? Turbanned Sikh guys seen as too religious and backwards with their dastaars, their kirpan, their uncut hair long flowing hair,etc.

Because I've also noticed on most Sikh marriage sites most girls perfer Sikh guys who are shaved and have short cut hair. Is this a sign of the times? As more and more guys are trimming/cutting their hair to conform to the ideals of most females and modern western thinking society.

Is it simply a process of natural selection, the weak being weeded out and only the strong remain?

Any thoughts?

138366[/snapback]

I know Rehit Marayada says a sikh can only marry a sikh, I do not hold with that.

Bani says a Sikh man or woman can marry anyone.

Point is we cannot "weed out" but only educate on why it is so important for the Sikh message to continue. This means empowering women within Sikhi at all levels. The Granthi incident recently in Amritsar shows how disadvantaged women still are amongst Sikhs.

[superaju]

How do we combat Sikhs dating outside the religion? in particular punjabi girls who seem to be easily led astray like sheep by muslim guys who use and abuse them thinking they getting one over the Sikhs.

Is it an image problem? Turbanned Sikh guys seen as too religious and backwards with their dastaars, their kirpan, their uncut hair long flowing hair,etc.

Because I've also noticed on most Sikh marriage sites most girls perfer Sikh guys who are shaved and have short cut hair. Is this a sign of the times? As more and more guys are trimming/cutting their hair to conform to the ideals of most females and modern western thinking society.

Is it simply a process of natural selection, the weak being weeded out and only the strong remain?

Any thoughts?

138366[/snapback]

I know Rehit Marayada says a sikh can only marry a sikh, I do not hold with that.

Bani says a Sikh man or woman can marry anyone.

Point is we cannot "weed out" but only educate on why it is so important for the Sikh message to continue. This means empowering women within Sikhi at all levels. The Granthi incident recently in Amritsar shows how disadvantaged women still are amongst Sikhs.

139169[/snapback]

...Randip Singh ji tusi khende ho:<<Bani says a Sikh man or woman can marry anyone.>> u r right!!! bhar ajj takk assarha sikh dharam jaa paat viccho nahi nikal sakea, bhave kye Guru ji ne Jat pat da khatma vi kar ditta si!!

Guru ji Kirpa karan!!...

WJKK, WJKF!!

[sikh supreme]

Interesting views.

About evolution and nature, my view is IF the purpose of sexes is to procreate based on attraction/looks then that is just animalist basic biological behaviour. We can all cut our hair, start to drink and smoke, take drugs just to fit in with society norms but then how much of a Sikh does that make us?

As Sikhs, we are taught to rise above these superfical things in life as the ultimate purpose of a Sikh is much higher, it is to release the soul from the circle of emotions (birth and death) and union with the supreme being (Waheguru). So when people call themselves Sikhs they should take a step back and realise what makes them Sikh and not just an average joe who doesnt have any purpose in life just waste it on drink, smoke, drugs, sex, gambling, money,etc.

[randip singh]

bhar ajj takk assarha sikh dharam jaa paat viccho nahi nikal sakea, bhave kye Guru ji ne Jat pat da khatma vi kar ditta si!!

Guru ji Kirpa karan!!...

WJKK, WJKF!!

139188[/snapback]

so true that it makes me cry sometimes.... :lol:

Jaat Paat is the essence of the prejudice.

[buddasingh]

Interesting views.

About evolution and nature, my view is IF the purpose of sexes is to procreate based on attraction/looks then that is just animalist basic biological behaviour. We can all cut our hair, start to drink and smoke, take drugs just to fit in with society norms but then how much of a Sikh does that make us?

As Sikhs, we are taught to rise above these superfical things in life as the ultimate purpose of a Sikh is much higher, it is to release the soul from the circle of emotions (birth and death) and union with the supreme being (Waheguru). So when people call themselves Sikhs they should take a step back and realise what makes them Sikh and not just an average joe who doesnt have any purpose in life just waste it on drink, smoke, drugs, sex, gambling, money,etc.

139481[/snapback]

There you go again bro with your implication of what is attractive. My animalistic basis tells me that my sikh bro with kulee dhari and confident pose is the sexiest guy alive. There is no need to rationalize with "it's what's on the inside that counts".

You gotta get in touch with your animalistic basis and all those billboards inside your head, not the ones out on the street. Be confident, humble and don't give a *** about what others think.

[sher_panjabi]

Waheguru.

Why do Sikh girls date...

my vichaar is that everyone seeks comfort, love and warmth.

Those families which don't have relationships/bond with their children, or in families where there is lack of pyaar, little or no comfort and the environment at home is not warming... those girls when OFFERED with flatery, love (well presented as love!) and affection, they become besotted.

Things which don't help....

Girls in these situations are VULNERABLE. they need Sangat, they need the pyaar of Guru Ji, they need the warmth of Sangat and affection by fellow Sikh brothers and sisters. HOWEVER sometimes we become stuck in our own worlds and PUSH people away who don't look the way we want them to look or don't behave in the way we do. Furthermore I have seen some Singhs who don't sociolise with Amritdhari who don't share their Jatha's thinking, rehat etc... WAHEGURU... what chance do mone, non-Sikhs etc have in getting to know a person when we are not talking to even Amritdharis!

We all need to be positve role models. If you go to Sikh Soc event and see a bhenji sitting alone etc... don't just LEAVE HER! instead get other bhenjis or a group of you ask how she is and make her feel WELCOMED (got to be careful not to look intimidating, remember to portray positive vibes).

Girls in the past also may have felt lack of pyaar, comfort and warmth from home - so why didn't they run away with b/f etc. Well its all about OPPURTUNITIES. in the past perhaps there were less oppurtunities. Aj kal we got loads of oppurtunities to loads of good & bad things. If one is vulnerable to the circumstances then we all know what happens.

Thats my vichaar. dont know whether i made any sense.

said anything wrong then bhul chuk maaf.