Arranged Marriage And Caste

[Balait_da_Sher]

Well firstly no no , this topic isnt about me and about me getting married. Since everyone i know is getting either engaged or married i was thinking about marriage and how Arranged marriage system has effected sikhi way of life.

As we all know that in an Arranged marriage family members introduce kuri munda and then after the whole getting to know each other, family secrets etc two people get engaged, and familes come together. The main thing to note is that this usually happens with two people of same caste.

Soooo I would like everyone to discuss their views on whther or not they think that Arranged marriages have prevented various castes groups to come together. Also Whether in future, the way arranged marriages happen should be changed so that marriage should between a sikh couple rather than two sikhs of the same caste.

Also can Arranged marriage system be changed to lessen the caste based division in sikh community?

Should we get married to people of our caste and not go thorugh the whole hassle of getting to know one another and strengthen sikh community as a whole.

These are few things that would be good for discussion. Right now i am off to a party so u guys knock ur self out :T:

[singh_comradz]

Well firstly no no , this topic isnt about me and about me getting married. Since everyone i know is getting either engaged or married i was thinking about marriage and how Arranged marriage system has effected sikhi way of life.

As we all know that in an Arranged marriage family members introduce kuri munda and then after the whole getting to know each other, family secrets etc two people get engaged, and familes come together. The main thing to note is that this usually happens with two people of same caste.

Soooo I would like everyone to discuss their views on whther or not they think that Arranged marriages have prevented various castes groups to come together. Also Whether in future, the way arranged marriages happen should be changed so that marriage should between a sikh couple rather than two sikhs of the same caste.

Also can Arranged marriage system be changed to lessen the caste based division in sikh community?

Should we get married to people of our caste and not go thorugh the whole hassle of getting to know one another and strengthen sikh community as a whole.

These are few things that would be good for discussion. Right now i am off to a party so u guys knock ur self out  :T:

145482[/snapback]

k my two pence worth

caste is just another negative aspect of punjabi culture..

but we need to draw a distinction between caste and Sikhi, as caste has nothing to do with the latter.

on a general note arranged marriage is a good idea for those who wish to go down that road.

but it is a popular method of marriage used by other cultures, religions across the world ie.greeks...

also the context of arranged marriage and caste varies between ppl of punjabi background.

for instance one person might want to marry a jatt/jatti

whereas another person doesn't care.

i think with the youth in this country caste will just become just another word in bhangra songs and not influence who they marry, and alot more people will just marry out of faith.

lastly getting married to people doesn't strengthen the community as a whole, but causes divisions instead

[singh_comradz]

i meant getting married to ppl of the same caste doesn't strengthen....lol

[Guest SScom]

the caste system, unfortunately, wont be wiped out. it wont become just another word in a bhangra song. there are people, youngsters, who believe stronlgly in castes. They wont even look at someone else from another caste.. the values are getting passed down. Something ive seen on numerous occasions. i used to know some kids - they used to cross the road if a person from another caste was coming towards them.

i was talking to someone yday and they said their olds dont mind if they were to marry someone -1 caste under...! But this is the mentality of many parents. N the caste system largely exists not because people believe it is right, but because they are worried what other people will say if their son or daughter marries into another caste. The thing is, i think most parents think like that and the funny thing is, if they all got it out in the open what they really feel... they wud realise they are worrying over nothing!

Arranged marriage is a wicked thing. Check family background, check kids background, check their credibility, check for any family illnesses etc etc - i dont think its a bad thing. Its just a bit more organised and you know what your getting yourself into before u go head first and fall flat on ure face.

[M4n1_k]

i think that arrange mariages is a good thing. it can work out and it can also not work out. i think 4 myself if i had to choose i think id go 4 a arrange mariage but i think my views will change maybe in the future, reasion beeing is that i respect my family and my parents so much and what if they decide i would go for it.

i think the caste system is been stretched soo much espcially for the oldies. i think in the future the younger generations will be marriying more outside the caste systems because parents will prob bend the rules abit. ok fer am guna stop cos i dont no if anyone understands me! ahh well! emhi.

[randip singh]

Well firstly no no , this topic isnt about me and about me getting married. Since everyone i know is getting either engaged or married i was thinking about marriage and how Arranged marriage system has effected sikhi way of life.

As we all know that in an Arranged marriage family members introduce kuri munda and then after the whole getting to know each other, family secrets etc two people get engaged, and familes come together. The main thing to note is that this usually happens with two people of same caste.

Soooo I would like everyone to discuss their views on whther or not they think that Arranged marriages have prevented various castes groups to come together. Also Whether in future, the way arranged marriages happen should be changed so that marriage should between a sikh couple rather than two sikhs of the same caste.

Also can Arranged marriage system be changed to lessen the caste based division in sikh community?

Should we get married to people of our caste and not go thorugh the whole hassle of getting to know one another and strengthen sikh community as a whole.

These are few things that would be good for discussion. Right now i am off to a party so u guys knock ur self out  :T:

145482[/snapback]

As someone who has married out of caste I would say yes!

However, if you go to India, particularly the cities, caste seems not an obstacle in arranging marriages.

Sometimes I think we are more backward here in the UK and hold on to caste more.

Two of the communities with are most guilty for promoting caste are Jatts and Tarkhans (Ramgharias). Between them they have created a sub-culture of biggotry where other castes are excluded.

What we probably need is a system in temples where marriages are arranged with no caste bar. Although I do not follow the Namdhari Cult at all, one thing that has to be commended to them is the eradication of catse amogst them.

Also stupid pro-caste websites like www.ramgarhiakom.com, www.jattworld.com, www.rajputsikh.com etc etc do not help either.

[ParwinderSingh]

sooo many young ppl these days belive in the caste system and discriminate each other even tho they are sikhs. but u will find that most of these kids have not been taught sikhi , there parents are too blame............ so we cant expect ppl to change unless we can get the message out their strongly.

i hate this caste system, i dnt even see the point , especially in the western world. some ppl are small minded.

arranged marriages are ok as long as u still have the right to say no....if u get me

[M4n1_k]

thats true about the jatts and the thrakans!

[ParwinderSingh]

the jatt world website ses jatts are a race and not caste........but GGSJ ses that there is only one race am i rite??

these guys are crazyy crazy pppl

[Shinda]

Everyone needs to chill out for a second. The second the word caste comes up everyone is quick to start waving their fingers and say "no-no".

Firstly we need to rember something when we look at the Caste system and its relationship with Sikhi. Guru Sahib rejected the caste system based on it giving and creating a hiarchy based on nothing more then Birth into a family. Guru Sahib rejected the notion that one is better simply because they are Jatt, or simply because they are Mistry, etc. After all, all our equal , so true worth can only be judged by ones actions.

As far as marraige goes, the whole caste thing, has a practical aspect to it. Back in India, and even here today, you can notice a difference in attitudes between people of two different castes. Now dont get me wrong, many people growing up in the West, have adopted very similar attitudes now so this distinction of attitudes is rather slim, but often times this distinction still exists.

This is no different then the attitudes of people from different countires, races etc. The attitudes of people in the South differs a bit from the people of the North. The attitudes of people in the West differs from people in the East. As such when arranging a marriage families try to get two people with the most in common together, the caste of one another often is a good way to quickly get an understanding of what ones attittudes are like.

So although it's fair to say that in the West many of our attitudes are the same as we adopt and grow up here, thus making the Castes of one another an irrelavent thing, in its place we often put up other things, such as "the other person should be from such a country", or from "such and such a background".

For the record I'm not saying marrying outside of ones caste will result in a failed marraige, what I am saying is that often times when looking for two people who are a-like, the whole caste thing serves its purpose.