Girls : Delicate Issues

[proud_to_be_singhni]

To my bhens (esp the anonymous ones!)

Sisters on marital issues you should try and PM bhenjees, this probably isn't the place to leave your upmost personal issues which largely....Remain Unresolved or argued about by 14 or 15 year old boys who may not have the correct advice...eg..check gupt section whenever you want:lol:.........! Also saying I'm of marrying age etc etc isn't going to automatically help you get a ristha here, blunt, but true.

Lately a large majority of amitdhari singhs are marrying pathit singhnees (who do fashion, cut eyebrows, look pretty), some not even amritdhari "yet" and then tell their singhni sisters on the other hand there are many singh brothers out there who wanna marry a natural singhnee.....just plain double standards. So why rely on advice from singhs?? Not Everyone is the same but some delicate issues are just better advised by someone who knows and Can give Honest feedback!

And..Put Your Faith In Vaheguru Jee

Stay StronG! :TH:

[guruji's_student]

My Dear Friends, Please share this information with your loved ones!

Through a Rapist's Eyes (No Joke)

This is important information for females of ALL ages. Guys - please forward to the female members of your family and all your female friends and associates.

When this was sent to me, I was told to forward it to my lady friends. I forwarded it to most everyone in my address book. My men friends have female friends and this information is too important to miss someone. Please pass it along.

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number three is public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here", "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK ! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yell I HAVE PEPPER Spray and holding it out will be a deterrent.

13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands - the guy needed stitches.

Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it hurts.

14) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!

You may feel a little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble

PLEASE READ THEN FORWARD THIS TO EVERY WOMAN YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMPLE STUFF BUT IT COULD SAVE HER LIFE

[Jaspaul Singh]

or as for most of u bhenjis .. just show ur kirpan :lol:

on a side note .. only 3-5 yrs for rape .. is that true

[Guest SScom]

-- MODERATOR MESSAGE --

Apologies to Proud To Be Singhni and Guru Jis Student for the confusion regarding these two topics. Its similar subject so rather than keeping this is another subsection, we will leave it in this forum as one thread. Apologies once again. Brilliant posts.

[japmans]

in response to guruji's student... we once had a rape workshop in highschool... except it wasnt' much of a workshop, since everyone had to go no matter what..so i guess more of an assembly..

anywhoo, they were talkin bout what to do if you get approached.. most of that is familiar, but one thing that they discouraged was actually the groin shot...... well..not discouraged.. but warned against...

being a guy...and any guyh will tell you this... there's one easy way to get a guy down on the floor, writhing in pain, and that's obviously to hit him down below....

the problem is that according to these people ,male rapists have become more prepared....i.e...they'll wear a jock or something so that that's not an issue... they asid you can try it, but it wastes valuable time that could be used attacking other parts..one part of the body they suggested was, especially if you're wearing heels... slam your feet down as hard as you can against the guy's foot, either right above the toes, or right where the ankle and foot join.. (this also is useful if it's a woman abducting a woman...and don't think it's not possible..Canadians know the story of Carla Hamolka, so it's not out of question that a woman can abduct and be involved in rapes.)

anyways, i don't agree with PTBS entirely..to an extent yeah, but sometimes people look for advice not to actually use it, but to feel reassurance that there's people out there.

[randip singh]

My wife has done extensive research in issues to do with Rape, and rape has nothing to do with sex or appearance but everything to do with Power.

Its like the bully in the playground, why does he/she do it? To hide their own inadequacies and make themselves feel big.

[japmans]

this is true too, i remember them telling us that too.. which possibly explains why resistance discourages them

[singhni84]

It is definiately all about power and control. If it was about appearance and sex, we could argue that only "attractive" people would be raped.

As for sentencing, check out this enraging story from today's Toronto Star. A four-year sentence for child rape? Does that sound even remotely close to justice?