Ahhh

[Guest Guest]

OK, I have tried sooo hard to not make an "issue" out of this, but really, arghh, KAAM,, tho i wouldnt really call this kaam, its weeirdd. Theres just this one guyy, ahhh, it's so annoying, I have dreams about him and everything, (nothing nasty). He's like the first thing I think about when I wake up and go sleep, while I do anythin, and I HATE it. I've tried so hard to get over it, and i still am, like I do Simran everytime he comes into my head, and it works...for a few minutes.

Butt, the weird thing is, is that I dont even think about him in a un-brotherly way, I just..think about him. I cant explain, it, but its really getting to me !! and its getting worse over the past few weeks !!!!

I know i'm at that "hormonal" age, but this is puree evilllllll, how can a bunch of chemicals cause so much havok ?!

I'm only just getting into Sikhi aswell, and I dont want to loose what I have so far, over some boy !

Tho I spose I should thank him, for inspiring me so much.. hmphh

...

I know KAAM has been discussed loadss timess, but I really dont think this is kaam, Its some weird upsessive thinking disorder..

I would reallyyy appreciate some advicee, before my stupid thoughs DO turn to the dark lustfull sidee

Thank-you Sangat Ji

[Guest _soora_]

Get married to him if your mind is on him all the time :TH:

[Jkaur]

i think the phenji above is not of the marriage age yet. Well try distracting your mind and try this: when u wake up int he morning.. try saying waheguroo first thing.. and as when you are free.. start doin naam simran so that your mind will not start drifting away ...

What i mite feel here is that u are infactuated with this guy.. :lol: so take small steps by doin the above... i bet in no time u will be over and done thinking of this guy

rab rakha

[Guest _singhni_]

Fateh

well....jus tell urself...hes jus my brother....and then start doin simran.....i know wat u mean....there this guy whos a year older the me and i luv him ssoooo much.......but ive never looked at him in an unbrother;y way either......ive alwayz tought uv him as my big brother....hes inspired me alot too....but i dun wanna go da wrong way bout him either.....ehs amrit-dhaari and all....and ima gonna be one soon aswell.....but i luv him so much....wenever hes upset...i get upset.....omg.....i dun like it either cuz i always thinkin bout him too....but we must think bout waheguru more....nunn but our guru ji....cuz only HE can help...hope this helped....keep doin simran!and tell urself....hes just my brother....

Fateh

[chandanjit kaur]

Fateh

ya i know wat ya goin through.......but panji....jus tell ur self that "he's jus my brother" and then start doin simran.....only remember waheguru.....cuz only HE can help you......wenever ya start thinkin bout dat guy.....instead jus start doin simran....try ur best to focus....ima kinda there too.....and well i never looked at this guy in da wrong way eitehr like i never have das kinda weird too....i mean i luv him alot yet never in da "kaam" way...alwayz thought uv him as my big bro and he is......hes very inspiring aswelll....but dun wrry....guru sahib will help....bhul chuk muaf

WJKK WJKF

[Surd_r_cute]

So you think about a particular guy, Does it make you feel nice.

I have been in same situation. I used to think i liked her. Life can be strange , we became friendly and than all my hopes from that relationship crashed.

Reason was that i had some how without realising I had made a mental image of that person. My point is that whatever we do in life is for pleasure and sometimes the whole idea of thinking about a person, activity gives us more pleasure .

When i started photography i started reading a lot on net abut photography , saving lots of web pages. I realized more than photography the idea of searching info on photography gave me pleasure.

I can recommend you to do meditation.

I have started doing recently and it is great.

Simply close your eyes and when you start thinking about him, just try control the feelings, by controlling i mean lets suppose he is a funny guy and something you remember that he said and that makes you laugh, when remembering him don't flow with emotion.

Keep remending yourself he is a nice guy but he is not worth my peace, he is not worth that i start thinking about him every moment.

[canadian_sikh]

wjkk wjkf

i no JUST how u feel cuz im sorta going thru the same thing. only its not my brother, its a sister. we are both sisters (not blood) but now ive started 2 think less about her all the time. i like obviously not in any perverted type way its just tht shes helped me thru so muc. it will blow over after tinme.

bhul chuk maaf,

wjkk wjkf

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

Seems that everyone is in that kind of a situation

The answer? Sit down and TALK it out. Think long term. If this is the person for you, then figure it out before they move on. If not, then decide that too.

I've seen sooo sooo many posts dealing with these sorts of situations, and the only thing they all have in common is that the person asking never talks to the "other" person, who is really the only person who can help to solve the problem. That is because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what we say or post: its between you, him, and your guru.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Guest no one]

i dont know if i just buried my head in the sand by doing this, but it seemed to work

well there was this guy, n didnt not him that well, but i liked him a bit.

it wasnt that bad, but as soon as i admitted it 2 a friend the feeling got "stronger"

so what i did was, told my friend that i dont like him anymore, n then told myself i didnt like him

deny your feelings to any1 u may have told n 2 urself.

as soon as i did this i stopped thinking about him so much.

jus keep telling urself that u dont like him, this might take a while but it works (for me anyway)

n keep doing simran aswell, if u havent already, try to establish a permanent amritvela.

jus do ardaas to guruji to help you, coz we are nothing alone.

it is with wahegurus blessing that we are given each breath.

bhul chuk maaf karo jee

[Pheena]

The more you try to resist this attraction, the more your mind will go towards it.

There are few exercises you can do to try to 'get over' this mental repititon. When the feeling arises next time, just take a step back and observe it, without any judgement of it being good or bad. Just watch the thought arising and as soon as you take a step back in a few minutes the thought itself will fade out. If it arises again, be aware of it and detach yourself from the thought.

If detaching yourself from this thought is difficult, then redirect your mind, not in a hateful or digustful manner. Remember don't counter act one emotion with another. If his rememberance arises then don't get upset or angry, just stay calm and take your attention to your breathing...now just watch the breath. If you want you can also start doing simran in your breathing...Breath in = Wahe. Breath out = Guru and so on.

Remember not to get upset or angry when his thought comes to mind, just stay calm and redirect your attention as you would ignore someone. Ignore the thought and place your awareness on your breath/simran etc.

:lol: