Marriage

[Anjaan Singh]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh,

ok so this is my first post, i apologise for any mistakes or if this topic is being repeated...

I'm 23 yrs old, been blessed with a job and my parents have started to ask me about marriage etc. Now Dasm pita ji has given me Amrit, however my parents are not following a similar way of life. The people they know, socialise with are the same, so I didn't exactly expect the offers to come rolling in. the goos thig is that they were really understanding about my requirements.

So we came to the conclusion that I could tel them if i knew of an appropriate match - this leads to my predicament....How do i find one? obviously this person will be found in sadh sangat, but you don't go to a guru ghar to look for a partner!!..so I turned to sikhmatrimonials - and there's very few gursikhs using it from the uk.

am i getting desperate (when i should be leaving it to the hukam and just see what happens)? or is the sangat out there in the same boat?

all opinions will be greatly appreciated!

great forum by the way...

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

[anjaan]

welcomeeee to the forum :TH:

nice user name btw hehe :umm:

i doubt ima be much use to your query but do you have Amritdhari friends? Maybe they can hook you up? or how about talking to Panj? orrr like an auntie ji/ uncle ji that you feel at ease with and can trust and are sort of pillars of the community?

end of the day but it's all Hukam, He'll sort it out!

all the best in your quest!

[Khalsa4ever]

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

Don't try too hard, you'll meet someone if you are going to without too much trouble.

Waheguroo jee ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo jee kee Fateh!

[Akaali]

I'm gonna have to agree/disagree with Khalsa4Ever, to disagree... if you don't go through the trouble I doubt someone is gonna jump in and get you married to that perfect gursikh so the two of you can lead your life in the way of Guru Sahib jee, hukme andar sabh ko, you have to remember that everything is under hukam, and your marriage is already set by Guru Sahib, but you have to take the initial step of trying to find that person, "God only helps those who help themselves."

To agree with that statement I think if you try too hard to look for a partner you develop alot of expectations, which your mind does not meet, so in a sense you kind of have to let it happen, and maybe build up from it.

Don't think you are getting desperate and our panth is seriously lacking in matters like these, one thing I would suggest is to do a search on this forum about marriage and I'm sure you will find your answer, apart from what you are already doing, you might also want to:

- Talk to the local punj pyare

- Talk to older jathay singhs

- Talk to your gursikh friends about things you can do

[Manchester_Sikhi]

I wanted to ad my 50cents here.

I was a full-time mona/non-religious Sikh (if that exists!!). I was going out with a few people, non Indian by the way. Soon after my brothers wedding (to a Korean girl--the wedding was done as per Sikhi), I decided it was time to sort myself out.

I registered on shaadi.com...LOL...even I thought myself tacky and cheesy when I did that. I met a few other girls on there, but then I met someone.

She was very much a strong Sikhi girl...her mother an Amrithdhari and her family GurSikh.

We got on really well, and she never ONCE tried to get me to do anything I didnt want to do (in terms of Sikhi). However, her pure-soul rubbed off on me and now I'm keep my beard and dastaar, and we have a great relationship and will be getting engaged and married early next year (with Guru's Kirpa).

She is my rock and together we will become Amritdharis.

Basically, its all down to Maharaji's kirpa.

But also, I think you have to be proactive and open your eyes and look. Maharaji will guide you, but you have to also seek...

And if all else fails...have a look at shaadi.com!!!!

[All-Info]

Does your local Gurdwara have the marriage centre thing?

I know my local one does lol. I dont know how many others do to?

[Anjaan Singh]

I'm so taken back by the responses, you guys have given a lot of thought to my question....thank youuu. I was thinking of going to GNNSJ (soho road Gurdwara sahib Bham) I've heard they have a marriage bureau thingy.

Another thing that's going to give me a headache is the fact that my parents are (unfortunately) stuck in this evil hell of the 'caste stuff', without going into too much detail (coz it just makes me sick) its like the second thing they'll look for (only after the gender!). Honestly, I know they are my parents, but it's not something i'm looking forward to discussing (or arguing if need be).

what do you guys think, have any of you experienced these problems?

oooh look, a smiley singh.... :nihungsmile:

[dutch_singh]

I am 26 years old and i haven't even heard the word marriage yet from either my parents or other family.

I guess i am just not marriage material

[Guest Papi]

I am 26 years old and i haven't even heard the word marriage yet from either my parents or other family. I guess i am just not marriage material

really :umm: u sure they not just planning it behind ur back cause 26 is getting old for viah man even by western standards for brown people.

[dutch_singh]

I am 26 years old and i haven't even heard the word marriage yet from either my parents or other family. I guess i am just not marriage material

really :umm: u sure they not just planning it behind ur back cause 26 is getting old for viah man even by western standards for brown people.

could be , you got me thinking now,