Tension In My House

[Guest Tensed Girl]

Hi sangat ji

i have a real bad crisis at home. Recently there has been soo much tension in our house. my parents wont stop fighting with each otehr and my mum gets angry really quick. both my parents scream shot and use bad language (swearing) against each other. I have two little younger brothers and one younger sister. I dont want them picking my parents attitude and when they see them fight they get scared.

My mum is quite religious and so is my dad. My mum does paaht and everything but still yet she swears really bad same goes for my dad.

When we confront my mum about it she will say to us that you dad has wasted my life and i have no idea why i got married to him ec etc.. and that she swears because we all make her angry and dont do work together. Even all the kids get sworn at by my mum and dad too.

When we confront our dad and he'll say the similar that my mum starts it first so he has to say something back.

I have no idea what to do. I want my family to be peaceful and not fight or swear. is that too much to ask for?

I seriously dont know what to do.

I've asked Guru Ji too, I always wonder why is it that the tensions always in our house??

I need help !

[PuNjaBan]

Hi sangat ji

i have a real bad crisis at home. Recently there has been soo much tension in our house. my parents wont stop fighting with each otehr and my mum gets angry really quick. both my parents scream shot and use bad language (swearing) against each other. I have two little younger brothers and one younger sister. I dont want them picking my parents attitude and when they see them fight they get scared.

My mum is quite religious and so is my dad. My mum does paaht and everything but still yet she swears really bad same goes for my dad.

When we confront my mum about it she will say to us that you dad has wasted my life and i have no idea why i got married to him ec etc.. and that she swears because we all make her angry and dont do work together. Even all the kids get sworn at by my mum and dad too.

When we confront our dad and he'll say the similar that my mum starts it first so he has to say something back.

I have no idea what to do. I want my family to be peaceful and not fight or swear. is that too much to ask for?

I seriously dont know what to do.

I've asked Guru Ji too, I always wonder why is it that the tensions always in our house??

I need help !

Hiya, sorry to hear about all that. Must be frustrating, so you think you have a dysfunctional family. Well you're not alone, you know the problem might be that both parents are stressed from amount of work + raising 4 kids, wokring and running the household. Maybe its getting to be too much for them. I don't know how old you or your siblings are but why don't you guys split up chores - lighten the load a bit off parents shoulders - help both of them so that they have less to do around the house and more time to spend with each other as a family. Help mum w/dishes, cleaning, cooking, shopping, job (if she works), help dad w/ermm whatever you think you can help him out with.

If you have a stereo, in the evening before or after you have roti put on shabads or paath - this will surely prevent them from arguing .. can do same in the morning as well but make it a daily practice.

What do you think? Will this help a bit ..

[Guest Tensed Girl]

Hi sangat ji

i have a real bad crisis at home. Recently there has been soo much tension in our house. my parents wont stop fighting with each otehr and my mum gets angry really quick. both my parents scream shot and use bad language (swearing) against each other. I have two little younger brothers and one younger sister. I dont want them picking my parents attitude and when they see them fight they get scared.

My mum is quite religious and so is my dad. My mum does paaht and everything but still yet she swears really bad same goes for my dad.

When we confront my mum about it she will say to us that you dad has wasted my life and i have no idea why i got married to him ec etc.. and that she swears because we all make her angry and dont do work together. Even all the kids get sworn at by my mum and dad too.

When we confront our dad and he'll say the similar that my mum starts it first so he has to say something back.

I have no idea what to do. I want my family to be peaceful and not fight or swear. is that too much to ask for?

I seriously dont know what to do.

I've asked Guru Ji too, I always wonder why is it that the tensions always in our house??

I need help !

Hiya, sorry to hear about all that. Must be frustrating, so you think you have a dysfunctional family. Well you're not alone, you know the problem might be that both parents are stressed from amount of work + raising 4 kids, wokring and running the household. Maybe its getting to be too much for them. I don't know how old you or your siblings are but why don't you guys split up chores - lighten the load a bit off parents shoulders - help both of them so that they have less to do around the house and more time to spend with each other as a family. Help mum w/dishes, cleaning, cooking, shopping, job (if she works), help dad w/ermm whatever you think you can help him out with.

If you have a stereo, in the evening before or after you have roti put on shabads or paath - this will surely prevent them from arguing .. can do same in the morning as well but make it a daily practice.

What do you think? Will this help a bit ..

I myself am 18 and i help around as much as I can I usualy do majority of the stuff. I do understand my mum sometimes where she comes from but everytime my mum puts paaht on my dad will want to change the channel to zee music or alpha panjabi and all these silly songs play where usually it all starts to kick off and my mum would sometimes ask God to take my dad waya (e.g. kill him and punish him and all sorts) she'll be like god i beg you to kill off this man. If you are true kill this man off we'll be really peaceful etc etc...I just cant take it anymore. Then she'll swear like anything and my dad will too with embarasing swear words and the kids catch out the words at times and start using them around. and I dont like it

[Heera Singh]

possibli some family therapy?

[Sarpanchni_007]

oh my god thats really sad. Have you tried to explain to your parents the effect it's having on your siblings? make your parents aware of what the circumstances of kids growing up in a bad environment is.

e.g. kids that mouth their parents back later on in life,

also they may catch the same behaviour, they even may go and tell the teachers back in their school

Hope Vaheguru makes everything better soon :TH:

Keep doing Ardas 2 :TH: it does wonders

[Guest Papi]

pauVI ]

pourree ||

Pauree:

pRB pwis jn kI Ardwis qU scw sWeI ]

prabh paas jan kee aradhaas thoo sachaa saa(n)ee ||

O God, Your humble servant offers his prayer to You; You are my True Master.

qU rKvwlw sdw sdw hau quDu iDAweI ]

thoo rakhavaalaa sadhaa sadhaa ho thudhh dhhiaaee ||

You are my Protector, forever and ever; I meditate on You.

jIA jMq siB qyirAw qU rihAw smweI ]

jeea ja(n)th sabh thaeriaa thoo rehiaa samaaee ||

All the beings and creatures are Yours; You are pervading and permeating in them.

jo dws qyry kI inMdw kry iqsu mwir pcweI ]

jo dhaas thaerae kee ni(n)dhaa karae this maar pachaaee ||

One who slanders Your slave is crushed and destroyed.

icMqw Cif AicMqu rhu nwnk lig pweI ]21]

chi(n)thaa shhadd achi(n)th rahu naanak lag paaee ||21||

Falling at Your Feet, Nanak has renounced his cares, and has become care-free. ||21||

fall at guru's feet. i know its hard but do try. try again and again and again until you fall such a fall that you never want to get up again.

we all stress about stuff i do tooo, a lot actually. but what we really need to realize is this: us thinking about stuff has never done anything and it never will. everything is in guru's hand. just do simran, seva, paath and guruji will take care of you. TRUST guru. when you get sad, think of guruji do simran, dont think you can do something to rectify the situation just think of guruji, do simran......get your brother/sisters with you in a room when parents fight n start doing simran.

i hope that makes sense.

[Sarpanchni_007]

** :TH: agree with papi **

:TH:

[chandanjit kaur]

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa

Vaheguru ji ki Fatehhh

ohh my don't worry panji.....don't forget...whatever is going on....it all happens in guru sahib's hukam....and take papi veerji's advice :wub: whenever your parents start argueing take your younger siblings along with you and do simran....if it happens in like the afternoon at like 6:30 or something then hehe you can sit down and do simran then rehras sahib da paath :wub: i know it's hard you know like when you're feeling all that pressure and feel upset and then thinking this is how guru sahib wants it....yes it can be hard but just try try and try....continue what you're doing and keeep doing ardas!!!keep your younger siblings on your side as in keep them with you and teach them about sikhi and help them stay on the right path and keep them away from your parents when they argue....i can understand that your mom must be having a hard time controlling her krodh...it is hard....buh when they're calm like then try talking to your mom or dad like calmly and slowly and talk about maybe like sikhi or wha you did you know try your best to get most of that krodh and arguements and so on out of their mind....and don't stop doing ardas pyare panji!!!....because this is all happening for a reason and ask guru sahib to help you do ardas and paath and simran simran simran!!!! :D god bless ju n jur family :umm: stay in chardi kala and take care

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa

Vaheguru ji ki Fateh

bhul chuk maaaf

[Guest Tensed Girl]

Siblings make it even hard for me because when they fight they just dont want to leave. They want to stay and see what they fighting about. It's really hard for me to control the siblings on my own when my mum and dad dont give two damns about them. I can get them into another room make them do simran but they will just fidget and my mum and dad's fight can be heard so I dont think they'll be able to concentrate properly.

It's like today mum and dad both were calm from morning till evening. Now it's like they want to bite each others heads off. One phone call from ym dads house back in India and my mum throws a fit and swears like theres no tomorrow. This is going to affect my studies too, and when I tell my parents that what they're doing affects us kids and we cant study at all they think we being silly and daft.

My parents dont understand how much tension it causes me. They think I'm tension free

[Guest Papi]

umm if they dont listen to you maybe it'd be better to write all your feeling on a piece of paper and give it them when both are calm......