Gettin Over The Past

[Guest ........]

EVERYONE has liked someone and some are brave enough to check dem aswell (so dnt be sayin u havent lol)

i liked someone and went out wiv them 4 6 months (1 st mistake)..i went threw enough while i was checkin him wiv my m8s which i dnt realy care bou because that has made our frindship even stronger..neway..its 1 year down the line n i still like them..they have moved on but i havent..N I WISH I COULD! (n i dnt mean wiv someone else.. jus ova them).. because i realise that the whole checkin stuff aint worth because you tell about a million lies down the way but still i cant..i still chat to dem n tx dem

some days it all bou them somedays its less it depends..but dey are always there in the bk of my mind

ive already messed up too much n i cant afford to carry on like this

ne1 got ne good advice or need to ask nefin else please reply..

can i jus say dey were da only person i checked and the last cos it aint worth it!!

please dont judge

[Guest Papi]

this is a very relevant issues amongst youth today and i am in the same boat. where we have boys and girls mingling attraction is bound to occur at some point. there are very few pure hearts who dont get affected by these things.

from experience, i can tell you this. no advice from anyone will help. so phenji, do ardaas thats really all you can do. hopefully guruji will be kind enough to help you move on.

if ardaas doesnt work then take it that this "dukh" is part of your life, take this dukh and channel it towards guruji. use this dukh to concentrate more on bani and simran. afterall we can concentrate much better when stuff is actually bothering us because at that moment we have this feeling that guruji i need you right now, i need you really bad. so use this as an opportunity to further your sikhi. hope this makes sense.

guru rakha

ps i see a bit of myself in your post so i can relate very well.

[Bored]

thats a hard one, ive been through it, but eventually ull get over it, keep ur self busy doing sumthing. thats the consequences for falling inlove in he first place,it gets u in the end even though we all kno it. i helped myself by staying more close to family and ppl that actually care about me insted of sumone who doesnt.

[Guest ..............]

rite im guessin that da ppl that did reply have sum where down the line been in the same place as me? n its true that its best to stay close to ppl that u no care bou u cos i have tryed it n it does work..but there is only so much dat dey can do cos dey dont understand..

im not saying that i like feeling always down and depressed but its become a habit n im used to it...n when it comes down to that person i get really angry at my self and dem..n jus curse my self about what the hell im doin 2 ma self for someone im better off without perhaps?!

n papiji have u taken ur experience as "dukh" or did u turn to ardaas? n did it help?

[Guest Papi]

n papiji have u taken ur experience as "dukh" or did u turn to ardaas? n did it help?

intially, i took it as a big sukh (BIG mistake) then obviously it started to bother me a lot when i realized i couldn't "go thru" with it. which then converted into a really really big dukh(depression style ). did ardaas, was ok for a bit. but since i was around the person quite a bit, the feelings came back in a big way. then i decided that its best to stay away from them. n also i did ardaas again, took a hukumnana and tried to implement that in my life. and i must say, with guru's kirpa i've made quite a bit of progress. so all in all by guru's kirpa i've managed to turn it into a ardaas where everytime it bothers me, i sing gurbani, think of guruji etc.

dont think of the "dukh" as a bad thing. because we are dukhie, we tend to get closer to guruji.

i would also recommend these things:

- do ardaas

- then take hukumnama

- try to undesrtand the hukum and how it relates to your experience and then try to implement it the best you can

- also, as always, read more bani, do more simran, sewa, sat sang

- and try your best to not see the person

i know its hard but its a test. this experience will teach you to not listen to this paapi mind. and that in turn will further your sikhi loads and loads by guru's kirpa. remember every event in your life occurs for a reason, to teach you a lesson. what that lesson is for you, i can't say but only you can figure it out by listening to what guruji has to say about this whole thing.

feel free to contact me if you have more quesitons :TH:

i've assumed that you dont wanna spend your life with this person at all. i dont know how old you are but i've seen cases where stuff like this works out and people get married as well. the decision is yours to make. i have tried to show you the paath with guru's kirpa the best i can now its upto you to follow it.

waheguru kirpa kare.

guru rakha

these shabads also might help.

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1939

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=690

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=3176

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

ok well if this is abt physical attraction, then thats just like weird...

if you just took every person who was the opposite gender as your brother, then whats the prob?

i dont get how people have these crushes on others.

how can you LIKE someONE just by LOOKing at that person????

its like....its like you lovin a stranger :wub: @

i just dont get it.

the person can be so cold-hearted, and youre sittin there going....omg! hes so this...hes so that..

or ... shes so this. shes so that.

how can one like another by observing physical appearance????

i dont get it

[Guest s133k_s1kh]

ok well if this is abt physical attraction, then thats just like weird...

if you just took every person who was the opposite gender as your brother, then whats the prob?

i dont get how people have these crushes on others.

how can you LIKE someONE just by LOOKing at that person????

its like....its like you lovin a stranger :wub: @

i just dont get it.

the person can be so cold-hearted, and youre sittin there going....omg! hes so this...hes so that..

or ... shes so this. shes so that.

how can one like another by observing physical appearance????

i dont get it

FATEH!!!

Its all bout state of u'r mind.. in wht AVASTHA u are in. i totally agree wid whtever u have said khalsa girl. but ye i had this question in my mind always and i was thking of startin a topic. Y IS IT THAT PEOPLE HERE ADDRESS A PERSON OF OPPOSITE GENDER AS VEERJI/BHENJI???...

GURU ANG SANG!!!

[Guest ....................]

ok well if this is abt physical attraction, then thats just like weird...

if you just took every person who was the opposite gender as your brother, then whats the prob?

i dont get how people have these crushes on others.

how can you LIKE someONE just by LOOKing at that person????

its like....its like you lovin a stranger :wub: @

i just dont get it.

the person can be so cold-hearted, and youre sittin there going....omg! hes so this...hes so that..

or ... shes so this. shes so that.

how can one like another by observing physical appearance????

i dont get it

if u took everyone has ur brother or sister then hw can other relationships be made?

a crush is something that happens in primary school as u grow older u start to think more..appearances dont matter (well shudnt) its bou personality n u dnt understand that when ur little..

not being rude but ur have never looked at n opposite sex n may even for a split second looked at them in a different way?

[Guest Guest]

n papiji have u taken ur experience as "dukh" or did u turn to ardaas? n did it help?

intially, i took it as a big sukh (BIG mistake) then obviously it started to bother me a lot when i realized i couldn't "go thru" with it. which then converted into a really really big dukh(depression style ). did ardaas, was ok for a bit. but since i was around the person quite a bit, the feelings came back in a big way. then i decided that its best to stay away from them. n also i did ardaas again, took a hukumnana and tried to implement that in my life. and i must say, with guru's kirpa i've made quite a bit of progress. so all in all by guru's kirpa i've managed to turn it into a ardaas where everytime it bothers me, i sing gurbani, think of guruji etc.

dont think of the "dukh" as a bad thing. because we are dukhie, we tend to get closer to guruji.

i would also recommend these things:

- do ardaas

- then take hukumnama

- try to undesrtand the hukum and how it relates to your experience and then try to implement it the best you can

- also, as always, read more bani, do more simran, sewa, sat sang

- and try your best to not see the person

i know its hard but its a test. this experience will teach you to not listen to this paapi mind. and that in turn will further your sikhi loads and loads by guru's kirpa. remember every event in your life occurs for a reason, to teach you a lesson. what that lesson is for you, i can't say but only you can figure it out by listening to what guruji has to say about this whole thing.

feel free to contact me if you have more quesitons :TH:

i've assumed that you dont wanna spend your life with this person at all. i dont know how old you are but i've seen cases where stuff like this works out and people get married as well. the decision is yours to make. i have tried to show you the paath with guru's kirpa the best i can now its upto you to follow it.

waheguru kirpa kare.

guru rakha

these shabads also might help.

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=1939

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=690

http://sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=3176

im 18..n ur right i dnt wanna spend the rest of my life with them because there is no furture not now neway

where can u get a hukumnama from ? apart from actually going to gurdwara

[Guest Papi]

i dont get how people have these crushes on others.

how can you LIKE someONE just by LOOKing at that person????

i used to say exactly the same thing until i got caught up in it big time. its hard to explain, you will know one day what i mean.

things aren't always black and white as you assume them to be. ride on the life ocean aint calm. when things start to get rough, you tend to learn how to steer ur boat better.