Help Me Now!

[Jaspaul Singh]

ok im not a bibi .. but one of my reli good friends .. who i respect A LOT and known her for a while wanted to comment on what your friend is going through .. just PM me and ill hook you guys up if you feel inspired :lol: .. be warned.. its fairly long but great.. :TH:

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I have a lot to say in response to this post, because having a lot of facial hair myself, I have been through many many stages (should I thread it, should I get electrolysis, should I …..the list goes on). For those who are reading this, just know that these words aren’t just something I think I should say to a girl who is having doubts about keeping her hair…this stuff is from personal experience. So here goes....

Why do we keep the hair on our head and body? First of all, it’s not ours to begin with, it belongs to Guru Sahib, just as our body belongs to Guru Sahib. We have been given this body to come into this world to do bhagti, and it is our responsibility to keep it healthy to be able to do that right? In that same way, the hair that we have on our body is also His gift. This is one thing that we all fail to understand, and it's really quite sad because there are many girls out there who won't take amrit because they don't want to stop removing their facial hair.

First, we must ask ourselves, WHY do we remove the hair on our face? Most likely, every girl knows inside her heart, whether u admit it or not, that the #1 reason you want to do it is for guys. Because you want guys to like you and think that ur good looking right? Girls, u need to realize that GUYS HAVE HAIR TOO...and if ur amrit dhari, chances are, ur gonna marry an amrit dhari guy. Most amrit dhari guys know that women have hair on their bodies, and understand that, and u know what? Most of them have a craaazyyy amount of respect for those girls who accept themselves as Guru Sahib has made them (I’m not saying they all do, but the majority do). So if you think that if you have facial hair, you won’t get a guy, you’re wrong. Because that has nothing to do with it. Trust me on this one. Go out yourself and ask them!!

In Gurbani (Ang 343, SGGS), Guru Sahib says “Rom rom Har basay muraar”. Translation? “On each and every hair, the Lord abides”. Most Sikhs believe that killing animals and eating them for the taste of your tongue is wrong. Why? It is commonly argued that God is in each animal, and it therefore cruel to kill the animal for your mind’s desires (many people would argue against that, but I’m just using it to make a point). The same way, God abides in EVERY SINGLE hair on our body. Every time you pluck, thread, wax (or whatever…) a hair on your body, it hurts right? That hair is alive. When you pull it out, you are killing it, just like killing an animal. They both endure pain when you kill them.

We are always looking for ways to impress people. We want the world to accept us right? We want people to think we’re cool and we belong with them, and we don’t want to stand out in a ‘negative’ way, or so to speak. Who decides what’s negative? The media. We see women on tv and in magazines with completely hairless faces and bodies, and that, in turn, effects what society begins to believe as being ‘normal’. Isn’t “normal” how you’re created? So by removing hair, aren’t people becoming abnormal? And why are we following those ways? And you may know amrit dhari girls who remove their hair but say they dont, or those who just do it and say "it's only important to keep the hair on your head, not the rest of ur body"...like what the heck is that?? Honestly, its up to YOU to realize what Sikhi's about, and to set an example for younger girls who look up to you. As Guru Sahib’s Singhnees and Singhs, we are taught to always be different from the ways of the world. And another thing: being an amrit dhari girl, you have NO idea how many other girls (younger AND older than you) are looking up to you. Whether you think so or not, man, there are sooo many people out there who see you every day and by just being at a certain place and time, you can change a person's perspective on life. Just remember, that everything you do doesnt just effect YOU...it effects those around you who are watching as well. By an amrit dhari girl doing a bajjar kurehit like removing her hair, tha might turn sooo many other girls away from Sikhi, becuase they will think "if this girl's amrit dhari and she does it, then I'm fine the way I am, and I don't even need to take amrit...so whats the point".

You know what really gets me mad? Brown people. Since I have kept my hair (about 8 years or so, with Guru Sahib's kirpa), I have never ONCE been approached by a non-brown person about my facial hair. However, anties at the Gurdwara, and ESPECIALLY my own relatives, never fail to try to make me feel like crap about it. Honestly, man, you girls gotta stop listening to these brown women. They have always struggled to fit in with society, and if the accent doesn’t seem to give out, then the only other way they can really “fit in” is by trying to physically look like the majority of the population, which, of course, includes removing hair. I actually feel sorry for those people. For God’s sake, it’s the way you’ve been created…chill out!! The anty at the Gurudwara who told your friend to get her hair removed using laser…its not going to work. The hair WILL come back no matter how much they try to convince you that it won’t. Mostly, the hair grows back within a year, if not less. But for sure within a few years after getting it remove with laser, you will be kicking yourself, because you wasted so much money, and the hair still came back. Many anties will also tell you that you won't get hired, you won't fit in at school (or uni or watever...), you won't ahve many friends, peope will stop talking to you....its all BS. Many people will especially use the job excuse as a reson for removing hair. But think about it: would you hire someone who has facial hair and has amazing skills and qualifications to work for you and positively effect your business, or would you rather hire someone who looks like a model on tv, but has much less experience? When it comes down to it, you will choose the person who has the qualifications right? I don't understand WHERE hair is a factor in this argument. But sadly, many manyyy of us will continue to fall for it because we don't THINK about the logic of the argument.

Let me ask you a question. Would you ever chop your hand off just because you feel that it’s a nuisance? Unless you’re crazy, that answer would be a no. BUT if your hand does get cut off, will it grow back? We all know that that’s not going to happen, regardless of the fact that we use our hands every single day for so many things, and they are such a big part of our life. When we cut our hair, why does it keep growing back? It doesn’t matter if it’s the hair on your head, legs, arms, face…it will always grow back. Think about it…WHY? We might not know the answer just yet, but there must be a reason. Because if something as crucial as your hand will not grow back, imagine how important the hair MUST BE, because it always grows back…So next a brown anty approaches you and says "why don't you just do a little bit of your face...other amrit dhari people do it too...it doesn't look good"...or wateverrrr...try using the examle of chopping your hand off. It's a classic, and she will have NO REPLY because it makes sense!!! (to me at least).

If you’re a Singh or Singhnee walking down the street, people stare at you. That’s a fact: if you look different from the majority of the population, you WILL be stared at, so get used to it. This world that we are living in is Guru Gobind Singh’s Kingdom!!! He’s the King of all Kings, and we should feel SO blessed to be His children. Now you tell me, if the heirs of the King of the World were walking down the street, would you not stop and take a second look? For us, instead of materialistic things being our decorations, we have our 5 Kakaars, and KES is the first and most important one of all. A Singh or Singhnee’s identity lies within their hair. Keeping your hair (everywhere) is the first sign of the acceptance of God’s creation. When you keep your hair, you are saying to the world, “This is how God made me, and this is the way I'm gonna stay, so DEAL with it”. Who do you have to please? NO ONE but ur Guru. When you die, do you think dharam raj is going to tell you that it's ok that you went against Guru Sahib's hukam just because you needed that job, or that boyfriend, or that boost of confidence? Instead of worrying about how much hair you have on ur face, you should be worried about getting up amrit vela and doing ur nitnem every day…you should be worried about the things you say to each person you come across every day, remembering to be humble and remembering to not hurt someone’s feelings even by mistake. Girls, (and guys) don’t think of your hair as a burden. Your hair is your identity. Without your hair, no one will know that you are a Sikh. Your hair is ur spiritual connection with Guru Sahib. Walk down the street and be proud, that you are showing the world the YOU that God has created. Walk down the street wearing your Kakaars with pride in your Guru, because you have nothing to be ashamed of!! You are part of Guru Gobind Singh’s army…you’re HIS daughters, and He is always with you.

[Jasy]

i do not know if your friend knows this or not, but my BIJI told me that every time you say Waheguru so does each hair on your body ... so think of it this way ... you say Waheguru once but because of your hair you are saying it a million times .... isnt our Waheguru so beant(generous) ... he is helpin us in so many ways ... y should we not live up to his expectations ??

another thing i will say that this is a test that she has to pass and that she has to prove to Guru Ji that she is a true Gursikh. also about nindiya have you heard the shabad

Nindo Nindo Moko Log Nindo

it is a shabad by Kabeer Ji and basically everytime someday says anything bad about you there are helping you ... so i think she is extremely lucky and also amrit is special please do not give up on it for such petty reasons.

Bhul Chukh Maaf

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Guest Guest]

Many people have already expressed their views on whether or not removal of hair is acceptable or not so I will not say any more on that.

I will say however, if your friend believes that laser hair removal is a permanent procedure, it most certainly is not. There is no such thing as a "permanent" hair removal process. At best, multiple laser treatments can prevent hair growing back for a few years at best but even then there is no guarantee.

She should speak to the cosmetic surgery she is considering going to and they will confirm this fact - hair removal which is advertised as "permanent" means it will not grow back for perhaps a year. She will also find out that not only are there risks of scarring and other complications with laser treatment, but also that these risks are increased with those with a darker skin tone (ie. non Caucasian).

I have also seen examples of individuals who have attempted to undergo permanent hair removal and in fact hair has grown back far thicker and more aggressively than originally. Laser hair removal is certainly not a case of a single session and the hair is gone forever.

Removal or alteration of hair would also constitute a Bujjar Kurehat and require Pesh infront of the Panj Pyare for rebaptism into the Khalsa Panth. Based on these grounds, I would strongly advise your friend to reconsider her decision.

[Guest _BTF_]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I think in our 500 year history people have always noted that Kesh has been the nishani of Sikhi. As maharaj says, without your hair intact don't appear before me. Now maharaj has and will always test his sikhs. These tests are always set to test the love Guru Sahib's sikhs have for his roop and for him

People all over the world may laugh at you. They may mock you and call you all sorts of names. Because of your nishani you may not get the job you want, the list is endless.

But you have to ask yourself what really matters? Is it these people who will keep coming and going or is it that rider of the blue steed, that king of this world and the next.

Words can't really hurt us though can they?

I think the only difference between now and then is that before people of other faiths would do the laughing. Now it appears maharaj has made the vast majority of 'sikhs' take up this role. This is probably the hardest and most difficult thing to live with. It's ok if people who are ignorant about Guru Sahib's nishani laugh, it doesn't make it right, but it gives you a reason.

But how do you explain a khalsa laughing at the daughter of guru sahib who has stayed true to her word of maintaining his nishani. How on earth can anyone accept that? But we must remember this is kaljug, where right is wrong and wrong is right. Today like before you have a choice. Would you turn your back on your beloved guru, and remove his nishani just so that society would regard you as 'beautiful' or would you stay true to his path and continue to walk towards him despite the constant stares and insults? The choice is very simple; do we care what people think or do we care what Guru Sahib thinks?

It's amazing how far Guru Sahib's 'khalsa' has fallen. I think a lot of sikhs need to sit down and work out a definition of beautiful. How can we let TV dictate to us what is beautiful, why can't we listen to our Guru's definition instead? Why do we care so much about the external appearance of a person when this pot of clay is broken time and time again? Why do so many sikhs fall into this trap? Why don't they realize that every time they laugh they are slapping Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj; after all this nishani belongs to him.

Everyone was made by Guru Sahib right? If that's the case then how can we find any fault in his creation? He is perfect and so is his creation. We are the way we are because of him. No matter what boundaries society puts on beauty it cannot hide the fact that true beauty lies within - this is something, which has stood the test of time and which has passed through the ages. When we speak about Baba Deep Singh Ji or of Baba Budha Ji we are never told about their physical appearance but rather about their spiritual appearance.

If we look simply all of us are pretty much similar. We have a soul and we have a body. We know that once our soul leaves our body, our body is useless. That once beautiful external shell begins to rot until nothing remains. What happens to the soul though?

Anyways, everyone else has made some very good points so I’m not going to repeat them. But can you ask your friend to do one thing. Ask her to sit down with some paper and a pen and tell her to write a letter to Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj. Let her pour all her feelings, all her reasons, all her pain and all her love into this letter.

When she’s finished and if she still feels that laser surgery is her best option ask her to finish the letter with the following words, ‘King of kings, protector of the world, you may be the father of billions of people but let it be known that from this day on you are neither my father or my Guru and I am not your daughter or Sikh.’

After her surgery she can walk around pretending to be the daughter of Guru Sahib, but she will know the truth and that truth will hound her till the day she faces dharm raj. As for Guru Ji he himself will keep that letter close to his heart.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

[Revolutionary]

Sorri.. but if she caries on counter-arguing like that then theres no real point is there? She would just think of another argument

[Guest Guest]

Sorri.. but if she caries on counter-arguing like that then theres no real point is there? She would just think of another argument

maybe there is a point. every single one of us counts

it may only be one person, but think of the generations of sikhs we lose from one sikh.

i have tried to remove my kesh on two occasions but it never worked. they wouldnt come out for some reason, guru sahibs apaar kirpa. the last time i tried, i locked myself in the bathroom. trying to remove kesh caused me sooo much pain, seriously my eyes were watering, then for some reason i stopped and realised what i was doing n felt so ashamed. then came the breakdown n ardaas, n crying for hours. but i think the message finally sunk in. kesh are beautiful.

its sooo difficult to understand, but the only one who can help is guru sahib. alot of bibia worry that singhs are too materialistic and only care about what the bibi looks like. this is definately not the case, you will have sooo much respect for keeping your kesh, and you will actually lose that respect if you remove kesh because everyone will know, you will know, but most importantly guru sahib will know. and you will have let yourself down.

everything ive written probably wont make a difference, it probably wont be read. thats why im gonna put the next bit in bold.

ARDAAS IS THE KEY. DO ARDAAS. BEG GURU SAHIB TO SHOW YOU WHAT IS RIGHT, AND TO SAVE YOU FROM DESTROYING THE PRICELESS GIFT YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH. MAKE SURE THE ARDAAS IS SINCERE, TELL GURU SAHIB HOW YOU FEEL AND ASK FOR STRENGTH AND SANGAT.

[jss]

everyone's comments here are valuable and valid.

i just wanted to add that women are not physiologically supposed to have much facial hair...i mean..everyone has som hair...and that's not and shouldn't be a big thing...

but the type of hair that men have on their faces should not be on a woman's face...yes there are different types...

if you are a girl and find yourself with excessive facial hair you should see the doctor because it usually is symptomatic of a hormonal imbalance..which can affect your health adversely....

i'm not saying to remove your hair...just saying...see the doctor to make sure there isn't any underlying pathological process that is causing it..

[Guest aaah]

aaah jus sharap.

sorry but everyone keeps making exscuses.

just keep your kesh, wherever it is. there is no way we can ignore the sacrifices of our gurus and other gursikhs at that time.

if you cant keep your kesh, then just forget it, just forget being guru da sikh.

i mean, come of it..in those days the gurus were faced with death and dint even flinch.we are simply faced with the prospect of loking a little bit diferent, in a society of barbie dolls, and we cant take it.

we cannot be called sikhs.

if you cant hack it, then forget it.stop making exscuses.either cut it and finish your connection to your guru

or honour the lives of our guru's and keep your kesh.

god sakes man.

and dont say its easy for me, coz i used to cut my kesh.

[Guest Guest]

I would have to disagree with JSS and say that genetically different individuals/races have naturally different amounts of hair. For example Oriental people have very little hair whilst Indian people tend to have more. Unless as a Bibi you literally have a beard coming, I would not jump to the conclusion that you have a hormone imbalance (although many are affected by them, eg PCOS, and you should be checked) and see this as a valid reason for removal.

[hum kookar tayray darbaar]

Dhan Dhan Baba FATAIH SINGH JEE