Stress Reliever

[japmans]

haha no she didn't.. she took that time to overtake you in posts! hahaha

[Jkaur]

hahahahahah

[Jkaur]

Deadly Message

A gal goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss, concerned about his employee's well being, asks

sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The gal replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying

that my mother had passed away."

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Why don't you go home for the

day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and

rest."

The gal very calmly explains, "No, I'd be better off here. I need

to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that

here."

The boss agrees and allows the gal to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the gal. He

looks out over his office and sees the gal crying hysterically. He

rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No," replies the gal, "I just got a call from my sister, and she

said that HER mom died too!"

[Jkaur]

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react,

Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie, than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what

you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever

since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the

beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it,

do you?"

Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail

just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy

ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take

the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,

Brian

Several days later, Brian received a letter from his mother that read:

Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Stephanie,

and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Stephanie. But

the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she

would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,

Mom

LESSON OF THE DAY: NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

[Guest balwinderkaur]

haha no she didn't.. she took that time to overtake you in posts! hahaha

hahahahahhaha yea i think so too. hahaha. no worries....im too busy with uni now to compete with bhainjee in post counts. but hey wow that means more than 1 person knows we've been competing in post counts all this while. uh oh.

[Jkaur]

Jack and Peter are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," Jack says.

"Thought...?" Peter asks. "What do you mean?"

"Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me," Jack says.

"Wasn't that love?" Peter asks.

"No, that was obsession," Jack explains.

"Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."

"Wasn't that love?" asks Peter.

"No, that was lust," Jack replies.

"And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."

"Well, wasn't that love," asks Peter.

"No. That was motion sickness!" Jack replies.

[Jkaur]

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.

"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job. A job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."

"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

[Singhstah]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Good bye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

[Singhstah]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Things not to say to a police officor

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning,too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

When the Officer says "Gee Son.... Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[Jkaur]

A man calls a lawyer and asks: "How much would you charge me to answer

three questions?"

Lawyer: "Four hundred dollars."

Man: "That's a lot of money isn't it?"

Lawyer: "I guess so. What's your third question?"