Stress Reliever

[Jkaur]

couldnt help to say this.. Rochak Virji you look superb in DASTAR.. Start tyin it virji.. u just look awesome

============================================

Master Mind

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.

His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Johnny's mother asked him if

he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little

Johnny, of course, thought he did. Johnny's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.

Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1:

Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend, Johnny

Johnny knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2:

Dear God, This is your friend Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.

Thank you, Johnny

Johnny knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and

started again.

LETTER 3:

Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.

Johnny.

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either, so he wrote another letter.

LETTER 4:

Dear God, I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike

for my birthday.

Thank you, Johnny

Johnny knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now, Johnny was very upset. He went

downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Johnny's mother thought her plan had worked because Johnny looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.

Johnny walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked

up a statue of the <admin-profanity filter activated> Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and az pen. Johnny began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 5:

I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed, YOU KNOW WHO

[Jkaur]

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

NOW THAT'S A SNAPPY REPLY

[Jkaur]

A father sends a small SINGH boy to bed. Five minutes later....

"Papa Ji...."

"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Papaaa Ji....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Papaaaaaa Ji....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

[Jkaur]

ENGINEER'S VALENTINE POEM

I was alone and all was dark,

Beneath me and above

My life was full of volts and amps

But not the spark of love.

But now that you are here with me

My heart is overjoyed,

You turn the square of my heart,

Into a sinusoid.

You load things from my memory,

Onto my systems bus.

My life was once assembly code,

Now its C++.

I love the way you solder things,

My circuits you can fix.

The voltage across your diode is,

much more than just point six.

With your amps and resistors,

You have built my integrator.

I cannot survive without you,

You are my function generator.

You have charged my life,

Increased my gain and made my maths discrete.

And now I'll end my poem,

Control, Alt, and Delete

[moorakh mugadh]

vwihgurU jI kw Kwlsw!

vwihgurU jI kI &iqh!!

lol @ vicks post

[Jkaur]

Bill Gates Faces God

Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell! After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'm going to do something I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!"

Mr. Gates replied, "Well, thanks, Lord. What's the difference between the two?"

God said, "You can take a peek at both places briefly if it will help you decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"

"Sure!" said Bill. "Let's go!"

Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beachwith clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was just perfect!

Bill said, "This is great! If this is Hell, I can't wait to see Heaven!"

To which God replied, "Let's go!" and off they went.

Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surely not as enticing as Hell. Mr. Gates thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision.

"God, I do believe I would like to go to Hell."

"As you desire," said God.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming among the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How ya doin', Bill?" asked God. Bill responded with anguish and despair.

"This is awful

3; This is not what I expected at all!

What happened to the beach and the beautiful women

playing in the water?"

"Oh, THAT!" said God. "That was the screen saver"

[Guest balwinderkaur]

This is funny. Hmmmm I dont quite like the picture of women drivers....if ever you should show em driving REAL slow vickey.....some women are such slowcoaches on the road, i wish i could ram into em. Not diss em on their parking skills?? or is that symbolically showing how they react to one another when they meet???? ,,,i for one am a fabulous parker at dreaded parallel parking. heheheheh paradoxically however, i can never get the car straight when it comes to vertical parking. thats strange....i can do the difficult one but not the easy parking.

[Jkaur]

BRAIN TUMOR

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)

Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor: Then why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

**************************************************

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the

figure, the answer is 6!!

**************************************************

WHILE IN A DRUG STORE

Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet

yet!!

**************************************************QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks!

**************************************************

Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4

better and 4 worse.

**************************************************

CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND

Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?

Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film.

I didn't see any picture.

Friend: What tape did you took anyway?

Mr

. Bean: Head Cleaner.

**************************************************

Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.

Friend: condolence, my friend.

After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder.

Friend: what now?

Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

**************************************************

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING

Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.

**************************************************

Spelling lesson

Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it

one c or two c?

Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure

[Guest balwinderkaur]

MU lost to Arsenal

rofl....heheheheh. well at least the guy said his piece in one sentence.....the girl kept beating round the bush

[Jkaur]

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends

"My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'"

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace.'"

The third Catholic crone says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'"

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" Finally she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2, hard-bodied muscular person, when he walks into a room women say, 'Oh my God'."