Stress Reliever

[S1ngh]

hahah.. i just realized that.. Damn Admin Filters Killed my GOOD JOKE :bringitondude

[Jkaur]

A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."

[Jkaur]

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.

He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

[Jkaur]

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him. "What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I've had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don't feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go!" "Last week my wife ran off with a cop," the man said, "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice night", said the officer.

[Singhstah]

Waheguroo Jee Ka Khalsa!

Waheguroo Jee Kee Fateh!!

Killer Kitten Evil Sesame Street Star Warz Gangsta Rap

[Jkaur]

Here is a National humor to foster the good relationship between Malaysia and Singapore in this new year...

A Pakistani, a Malaysian and a Singaporean were caught

smuggling bootlegs in Saudi Arabia. They were brought in front of King Fadh for sentencing. "The punishment for your crime is 30 lashes," said the King.

"Since I am in a good mood today, I will grant each of you one wish before the punishment."

"Your Royal Highness, I want to have a pillow tied to my back," requested the Pakistani. "Your wish is granted," said the King.

Unfortunately, at the 25th lash, the pillow fell off the back of the Pakistani. He got 5 painful lashes on his back.

"Your Royal Highness, I want to have 2 pillows tied to my back," asked the Singaporean. "Your wish is granted," replied the King. Again unfortunately, this time, the pillows fell off the Singaporean's back at the 29th lash. He got one painful lash on his back.

"I see, you are a Malaysian," the King said. "In view of the very good relationship between Malaysia and Saudi Arabia, I make an exception to grant you 2 wishes instead."

"Thank you for your kindness. Your Royal Highness, may I have 60 lashes as my punishment?" the Malaysian asked.

"I am surprised, but it is up to you," said the King. "What is your second wish?"

"Your Royal Highness, I want the Singaporean tied to my back," the Malaysian requested.

[bravekhalsa]

[Jkaur]

Cars Name

AUDI: Another Ugly Deutsche Invention

BMW : Brings me Women but Broke My Wallet

FIAT : Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

FORD : Fast Only Rolling Downhill

HYUNDAI : Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable and Inexpensive

SAAB : Shape Appears A ss-Backwards

SUBARU : Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

VOLVO : Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

PORSCHE : Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

[Guest balwinderkaur]

haha funny. good one. anyone missed me?????

[Jkaur]

bhenjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........ i surely did missed u.. hows life.. gotta all settled down or not?? update me abt da place.. yaaaayyyyyyyy my twin is back