I Cant Take This Anymore

[Guest shy freak]

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, Vaheguru ji ki fateh

I can't take this anymore. THe problme is that I am very, very shy. I do not want to be like this anymore. I want to be social, and have more friends. I've been like this since I was young. I hate myself for this. I'm sick of it! Why me?! Alot of people say that it's okay to be quiet, in the end it's worth it. I totally disagree with that. I mean, I don't want to become a chatter-box but like ughh this is so frustrating. What am I supposed to do? Does anyone else feel like this/or gone through the same thing? Please post your thoughts sangat jee, I'm very depressed right now. So many people say things like, "Oh bhenji/veerji, I used to be just like you. I started going here and there and blah blah...now I have lots of friends etc". I would appreciate all that advice but even that, it's something I just can't do. I hardly even have any friends. Pleaase reply back and maybe even quote some lines in baani that may help if possible. I may be male or female, I prefer to be kept anonymous so please don't assume what I am. Thanks in advance. Forgive this manmukh for anything wrong or offending.

Vaheguroo

[Guest Guest]

please try to notice within urself that why are u shy? what makes u shy? why dont u talk with people around? what stops u frm inside?

I think then u can better figure out solution for urself

[jassa]

make eye contact with people ....

speak loud and clear ....

when u visit someones house u must be sitting head hanging down everyone else speaking something or everything u must be only listening .... right ????

say sat sri akal to every uncle aunty u hardly know in ur colony ....

this is a big problem u should know how even talk to strangers when u get married and have family load on you will not be able to bear it .... with 0 communication skill ....

[Guest .]

u know what..

no offence, but theres people dying of hunger and starvation out there. there are people trying to find enough food and shelter to live just for the day out there. people who don't even know if they'll have food/water to live in this world another day. and if they do finda accsess to water, have to drink it even though theres an 80% chance that its not clean and they will get some sort of disease from it.

what i'm saying is..here's you worrying about being shy and theres them worrying about whethr they are going to live to see another day.

you know what, most friends will bring you down. i swear it. your looking for the wrong thing.

sangat and friends are different.

sangat is jithe eko naam vakhaaneye..where the name of Vaheguru is being sung.

let me tell you this..if you are looking for friends to fulfil your emptyness then i will not post again, as mahraj tells us all the time about how you will always feel empty without enshrining love for guru shabad. but if you are looking for sangat then simply go to the gurdwara and sit in sangat.

you dont have to make lots of friends, have a nice chit chat etc. Mahraj says the friends shall forsake you will alive, yet the saint will not forsake you even when dead.

if you still want "friends" then i will not reply again, mahraj already warns us about the dukh expereinced with "friends", but theres no point if you still want to have these friends.

i hope you realise that i didnt mean to be harsh. i just wouldnt want you to fall into the trap of trying to make friends to fill the gap in your life, coz thats why we all do it. there will be no gap if we all just relied on guru.i speak from experience my sister

Vaheguru.

[Singh-in-Welling]

Oh bhenji/veerji, I used to be just like you. I started going here and there and now I have lots of friends!!

na jus joking

lemme tell u jus 1 thing that i have realised within certain people! the more and more places that u go and the more and more different people u get involved with... can have a negative affect/effect :cool: on u!! it may help u have more experiences in life.... but it can also make u into a "gossiper"!! and u can get caught up with more responsibilities and in between certain groups which may not help u!!

1 of the best sayings i have ever heard is "Gupt is always the best!!" and its true! being shy is 1 thing however... i have seen many gupt singhs and kaurs who are so knowledgable!! 1 example is Bhai Darshan Singh from Birmingham!! he is so gupt and humble its unbelievable!! but i rememba having a discussion with him at northolt and he was picking bani left right and centre and bringing up wikid points and topics!!

yet he is unattached to the worldy materials!!

Akali Sri Guru Nanak Dev Ji explains it very well in this thook in Raag Aasaa

naanak houmai maar patheenae viralae dhaas oudhaasaa ||4||3||

O Nanak, how rare is that unattached servant, who conquers his ego, and remains pleased with the Lord. ||4||3||

i hope this helped!!

VJKK VJKF!!

[KFI]

Read more bani and do some simran you will get answers

[harwinder84]

i was, i am n maybe the like in the future

iim not shy but juz dunno wat to say

hahahaha

ppl say im arrogant n etc

lol

[Guest Guest]

fatehjee,

letme tell u bhenji/bhaji im exactly like u , i am toooo shy! I find it really hard to make friends or socialise like other people and yeh that stresses me out. People also tell me that it is for the good, its good ur not like any other people who chat all the time, but i dont think so. Some people probably think of me as a snob for example, like not wanting to chat to anyone cuz i think im soo good , too good to chat to anyone else, but thats not true! I find it hard to go up to people say fateh have a full blown conversation. I have tried to change but i just cant, but then i think to my self well i cant change that is just me.

fatehjee

[Guest Guest]

its good to be "shy"

speaking little is a quality i wish i possesed.

its easy to speak little at scool or somet, but when ur at home or in gursikh sangat i find it hard to stop speaking

:-(

[Guest shy freak(topic starter)]

u know what..

no offence, but theres people dying of hunger and starvation out there. there are people trying to find enough food and shelter to live just for the day out there. people who don't even know if they'll have food/water to live in this world another day. and if they do finda accsess to water, have to drink it even though theres an 80% chance that its not clean and they will get some sort of disease from it.

what i'm saying is..here's you worrying about being shy and theres them worrying about whethr they are going to live to see another day.

you know what, most friends will bring you down. i swear it. your looking for the wrong thing.

sangat and friends are different.

sangat is jithe eko naam vakhaaneye..where the name of Vaheguru is being sung.

let me tell you this..if you are looking for friends to fulfil your emptyness then i will not post again, as mahraj tells us all the time about how you will always feel empty without enshrining love for guru shabad. but if you are looking for sangat then simply go to the gurdwara and sit in sangat.

you dont have to make lots of friends, have a nice chit chat etc. Mahraj says the friends shall forsake you will alive, yet the saint will not forsake you even when dead.

if you still want "friends" then i will not reply again, mahraj already warns us about the dukh expereinced with "friends", but theres no point if you still want to have these friends.

i hope you realise that i didnt mean to be harsh. i just wouldnt want you to fall into the trap of trying to make friends to fill the gap in your life, coz thats why we all do it. there will be no gap if we all just relied on guru.i speak from experience my sister

Vaheguru.

Hmm. You're right. I agree with you but it's so hard to think like that. I don't want to be a loner for the rest of my life!! I know this may sound funny but it's true. I'm not even close to being a Gursikh. If i read more and more baani, what's the point? I don't even understand it. I only know how to read it. Man, life really sucks right now. Can someone just please tell me what they would do if they were in my shoes. And thank you everyone else who have shared their thoughts. I guess the message just doesn't get through my head. Please Please help me!

Please forgive me for any mistakes I've made