Teenager Needs Help

[Akal Warrior]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I need the Sangat’s views on certain issues concerning Sikh youth. What is the best way to approach a young Sikh who is heading down the wrong path? I am talking about a young teenage, Kesdhari Sikh, who is starting get into bad company and doing many things which will ultimately lead to his self-destruction. There is one particular young boy that I know who admitted to me that he wants to be a drug dealer when he gets older. He also admitted to me that he loves rap music and all his friends drink and do drugs, although he does not. He is about 13-14 years old. He gets into a lot of fights and always carries a metal bar with him for protection from his enemies. He even said that he almost got stabbed once. I asked him if he could safely walk down the streets of his town, and he said no because if his enemies see him, they will jump him (beat him up). He goes to the local Gurudwara Sikhism classes and I have heard from other students that he is always telling the other kids that he doesn’t care about what is being taught, and that he’ll do whatever he wants, and he even insults some of the other students. But when you see him, you’d think he is the quietest, most shy guy, but when no adults are around he has a very arrogant attitude. His parents are Amritdhari Gursikhs and have no idea what is going on with their son.

Now...I need the advice of someone who knows how to handle this situation. He is at a critical point in his life and I could easily see him getting into carrying guns etc. in the next few years. He told me he likes the lifestyle of drug dealers and the money they make. I asked him if its worth having no freedom in life, and always looking over your shoulder, or ending up dead like so many other young Punjabi boys? He didn’t really care about the consequences. The weird thing is that he told me everything about himself so openly, knowing very well that I could easily tell his parents. Why would he do this? Is it a cry for help, or was he telling me because he was trying to show how cool he is? I told him about my past, and that before I took Amrit, I was going down the same path, and I barely got out of that lifestyle, while many of my ex-friends are still caught in that life. I think one of the reasons he opened up so much, could be because I told him about my past, and how I used to get into fights etc., and had bad sangat, and he started to feel that I really do understand whats going on, and that I’m not just some adult telling him what to do, who doesn’t even know what the youth is going through.

So what do you guys think I should do about this ‘child’. I know I am going to tell his parents everything because they have a right to know. But how can we help him improve his life for the better? Thanks

[Singh-in-Welling]

kaam krodhh lobh jhoot(h) ni(n)dhaa saadhhoo sa(n)g bisaariou ||

Sexual desire, anger, greed, falsehood and slander are forgotten, in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy.

maaeiaa ba(n)dhh kaattae kirapaa nidhh naanak aap oudhhaariou ||2||6||

The ocean of mercy has cut away the bonds of Maya; O Nanak, He has saved me. ||2||6||

i read this shabad the other day and it was just mind blowing!!! Guru Arjun Dev Ji (in raag Dayv Gandhaaree) tells us that everything bad n negative is driven out by the beauty of Guru Jis's Saadh Sangat!!

i was also hit by a lot of inspiration a cupla years meeting singhs and singhneeaa that were around my age and were jus full of naam, nimerita, n chardikalaa!! this was probably one of the biggest changes in the whle of my life (especially meeting with Akali Sukha Singh Ji who is only like 3years older than e but he is jus full of wisdom it jus overwhelmed me n literally gave me a "kik up the backside" to how much time i had wasted not doing my paat, or kirtan, or seva i cud of been doing!!)

Bhul Chuk Maaf

hope this helped :TH:

[Seva]

i think he needs to talk to someone he can look up to. maybe someone whos been there done that. if u like, i can put him in touch with some lads i know who have a bit of a reutation around the midlands. they are good lads, they do mess about and are renowned for fighting but they dont do drugs and are keshdhari. maybe he can associate with these lads as they are still into there sikhi and maybe they can help satisfy his thirst for being a bad boy but without getting him in too much trouble.

[Fatehgarh Singh.]

give the boy a few slaps, that shud nok sm sense into the nob

[Guest Papi]

i think he needs to talk to someone he can look up to. maybe someone whos been there done that. if u like, i can put him in touch with some lads i know who have a bit of a reutation around the midlands. they are good lads, they do mess about and are renowned for fighting but they dont do drugs and are keshdhari. maybe he can associate with these lads as they are still into there sikhi and maybe they can help satisfy his thirst for being a bad boy but without getting him in too much trouble.

you aight mate !!!!

[guruvah]

Singh.....u need to alert his parents on this issue....but make sure you have some proof too...otherwise they will say ur accusing their son.It is IMPORANT to get this young veer FAR FAR FAR away from the bad sangat he is involved in.

Be close to him.....encourage him so attend keertan programme where there is charkala sangat......my point here is......

He is involved in bad sangat...thats where the problem is....if there is any chance that his sangat can be changed into a good one.....then Maharaj will doo keeerpa

[Pakhand]

Gurfateh jio

u know wa is he worrid bout his parents finding out?

if so dnt tell his parents yet, because if he aint dis might jus mke him worse howeva tell him that you will tell his parents of he dsnt stop goin down this wrong path

the best approach is to keep draggng him 2 keertan progrms anywhere where people are doing vichar giv him sangat his own age and most of all do ardass.

stress to him what might happen and what will happen in the afterlife if he carries on im sure you can tell him from your own experience that this life isnt a gud life n if he cares for his family at all he wont get involved

im badli badli sorri if i have sed anything wrong plz 4give me as i am just a moorakh

wjkk wjkf

[nWo Wolfpac]

most indivdiuals do not care about the after life they do not belvie in jamdhoots or anything. they just belive in the moto "live life to the fullest"

[Akal Warrior]

THIS IS AN UPDATE FOR THIS KID:

We have talked to his parents and told them about the problems this kid is facing. They say that he does not really hang out with any friends, and that he is always at home, but he told me differently. He said he is always with his friends and even buses to their homes. So i don't know who is telling the truth (denial perhaps?).

As for the kid, we had 2 people talk to him, and as of yesterday i asked him again if any of the things he has been told had any effect on him. He blatently said NO, and that he is aware of the consequences (both worldly and Sikhi), but he doesn't care, and is not afraid to die. Now we are thinking about what to do with him. He is starting to wear off on other kids who attend the Classes, and is constantly distracting them and talking during classes. What we are afraid of is that he will start to corrupt the other kids (we have heard that he tells them about how he wants to cut his hair and be a drug dealer etc.)

I have spoken to another Singh and he told me they had the same situation on a Gatka Akhara a few years back, where there was this one very arrogant and corrupted kid, and he started becoming friends with other kids, and a few years later about five ex-members of the Akhara are dealing drugs and going in and out of jail. He suggested that we leave this with his parents to deal with, and instead of risking trying to save him, and he ends up corrupting other students instead, we need to just kick him out so he can't infect the others (which he is clearly already starting to do, and some are starting to hang out with him after school). I don't want to kick him out of classes, but i am also afraid for the other kids. There are many great kids attending classes, and their parents expect good Sangat for them, and i don't think it is fair for them if some kid is going around corrupting them. We don't want to give up onhim, perhaps have him come during a different time? What does the Sangat think should be done?

[jasmeet86]

gurfateh

plz dont give up on him...with a good sadh sangat people will change..help him in anyway u can..tell him wat could happen if he goes into drug dealing..who will be destroyed because of his interest...try to push him more towards the sikhi path and give him alot of attention and care and hopefully with guru's meher..everything will be fine

bhul chuk maaf ji

gurfateh