Wearing A Turban Has Ruined My Life

[Revolutionary]

However I have felt a contradiction over the years, wearing a turban...not being able to speak the language not feeling religious. The men in my family who wear a turban are arrogant and selfish people, and that is all I have seen growing up. But I know everyone is not like this.

Try to take the harder path and make the effort to learn the language, and learn about Sikhi..

I know people like the men in your family who are arrogant and selfish.. I dont associate myself to them. They are fakes; But doesnt mean that dastaar should be put in bad light for this..

I am more distant from Sikhism in the external symbols it uses to promote Sikhism. I have been wearing a turban for about 10 years now and it has killed me inside doing so. I feel confident at first but when I go out and around other people I feel fake, and the only reason Im wearing it is to cover up the hairloss. I remember being 11 years old and washing my hair, and clumps of hair falling out...and my parents solution was to make me wear a turban and not take me to the dr's (if my hair had been cut it would have grown back within a few months).

It looks like you misinterpreted what your parents wanted.. I dont know I'm just assuming. I assume a lot about my parents but realise its completely different. The hairloss can be due to using a weird shampoo/too much/too little or combing while its wet.. there is a way around this dude

If I look at my thoughts....my life sucks because: I look disgusting, I am a bad Sikh for letting my hair fall out,

You dont have to be hairy to be a Sikh!!!!

I am a bad person for not doing well at school etc I was on track to doing medicine but couldnt face people because I felt like wearing a turban isnt me.

I'm living in a place where Sikhi isnt hyped like in Bham etc.. But i still see at least 2 Singhs, and 1 me, who are doing medicine with a dastaar and darha sahib uncut.

But now I still have to wear a turban, but I have to live life, however I am still unhappy over wearing a turban.

It takes some effort to get over this phase dude..

But wearing the turban is such a strong external statement....it signals who I am not to everyone.

Well why don't you become the person that deserves the turban instead? It's like saying "i wont be polite because im not a good person"

I have had to cut my hair in order to apply steroid cream onto the bumps on my scalp. I get constant head aches from the bumps, called cutis verticis gyrata. If the creams dont work, then the dr's will use injects and then finally surgery.

i'm sorry about the condition I hope Akaal Purakh sorts it out

[ocelot]

Dear Friend;

It is just our thinking, you have just so negative in your thinking, that even small things are looking to be too big. You can think of some members of your family who love you maybe your mother sisters, may be some people there.

You remembers of me during my eightth standars, i was so negative that little problems in my exam , was looking as a big issue, but there was not so big things as i was looking at them. Only thing i thinks is your psychology you dont want to wear Turbon due to social acceptence with so called modern girls ands boys. Due to this you have created a self image of everything which is portaying you things much bad then they really are. The only thing to change is your thinking, be optimistic, and this can be done by reading bani. You can take inspiration from any of Shaheeds, there are thousands.

I agree this is issue which is there, but you have increased it bigger by your own thinking. Dastaar sikh dee shaan hai, Eh Guru de wallo Sikh nu ditta geya taaj hai.

If i take you as myself you will not realise this today, but i bet it you will certainly realise it later, but that time should not be toooooooo late.

In the end we should do ardass that God should give you peace and above all show you right way.

[Guest Guest]

Thanks for the replies, and my posts are not fake. I have had to deal with the reality of the situation and trying to get other peoples perspective on my situation.

I have respect for the Sikh religion and the Sikh history, but I do not wish to make that my identity. I am my own identity now from "being" and not "being a Sikh", on that level every human is the same and there are no divides.

By the way, my hair started falling out because it was tied by my older sister or mum when I was younger. I also had one of those guth's (ponytail) running up the middle at the back of my head to keep the hair tidy. After going to a dermatologist and consultants, the hair at the front of my head will never come back. So I have lost my hair about 2-3 inches from ear to ear in a circumferance and look like one of those buddhist monks lol.

Sorry to digress, I have 2 options, to get a hair transplant or to keep wearing the turban. On the note of learning punjabi, I find that hard because, I am always getting belittled by my parents in punjabi and this has made me have a distain towards it. Although when I listen to parth(prayers) it is soothing and I remember being small and being happy going to the gurdwara and especially getting prashad lol.

I am not a Sikh, nor am I any other label. I think Guru Nanak had very good principles upon creating Sikhism. At its core, I think God is peace and joy, and is eternal, it does not have an opposite. I am not my thoughts or my mind, rather the consiousness that is witnessing what is happening. Sikh hyms or prayers for example are used alot, they focus the mind to the present rather than having stray thoughts come into your mind.

[guru'sfateh]

Anyone else recall this as a repeated post here?

Yep, this person has posted this before. I recall giving him advice. A message to everyone- any advice you give will most likely fall on deaf ears, if you want to help him then do ardas for him to find the true path.

[Guest _Tarrandeep_kaur_]

What a silly title.

You have ruined your life.

How can a crown ruin ur life, it is a gift from mahraj.

The faults do not lie in sikhi, they lie in urself.

[Guest Guest]

Guru is Bani, Bani is Guru this is how you are with your Guru, an understanding how you both communicate and understand each other. Maybe you should try to look at your relationship with your Guru and take it from there,

Good Luck what ever you decide.

[AkalPurakhDiFauj]

lol........well heres my two cents...............

from a female perspective........................gonna share summat but i hope this is genuine and it helps............a dear friend of mine................had lovely long hair................she hit her teens and decided to cut it all off without a seconds thought....................then she started losing it.....i mean big chunks just fell out..............she hated it....................hated God for putting her throught this...............people used to look at her funny and laugh at her.....................but then it started to grow back.............lovely dark long and beautiful...............then she realised...............the mistake she had made by cutting it.............and now cherishes and hasnt cut it over a yr..........

moral: you never know and appreciate what u have until its gone...............ur kesh is a gift from God and sometimes we have to go through emotional jouneys to see the jewel hidden under the rubble, cherish it my brother

beautiful post. :TH:

[S1ngh]

Silly title.. Don't Bend religion to suit ur needs.. Bend your mind!!!

I think its good that we have some sort of filtration process where weak ones get filter and strong one remains in our kaum :umm:

Mod Note to Original Poster: Your pending messages were deleted because you gone too far. Insulting Gurus bani by stating your own atheist views is NOT allowed in this forum. Your deleted reply was towards _Guest_'s post on the topic of Guru is bani.