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Dear Sangat ji,

I am so sorry to continually post depressing threads but at this moment in my life i keep suffering from reoccuring bouts of negativity as well as slight depression. As many of you are aware i am a gora teen longing to lead the sikhi way of life. I told my parents about a year back and they freaked etc, as i explained in posts beforehand. However, i am finding it increasingly difficult and disheartening to cope with my feelings and then covering them up to falsely respect my parents orders/ wishes. My dad encourages me to drink small amounts of beer, i am instructed to cut my hair, shave and eat meat all because they know its all against sikhi and that i made a false promise to never follow such a wonderful path.

When i do this i cry and hurt inside even though i know my guru is sitting beside me holding my hand. It burns me up inside and its getting to the stage where i could just snap. They know i like sikhism and do everything in their way to stop me following it, they would rather disown me then be a sikh and ruin or shame my family. :wub: Don't get me wrong i love them but its becoming wearing and increasingly intolerable.

Even when trying to do simran my mind is plagued by questions, i feel that the love has gone and you could say God has put the phone down on our telephone call. My excuses are becoming more useless and wearing and even pointless as they know its lies. I am even pressured into having a girlfriend and suspicisons are arising that since i don't have one i'm gay - more shame to them! The reason i don't is because secretly it is lust and i want to stay away from it. Sorry that this is long and boring, i am just on the edge. Please may you help me.

Many thanks,

Khalsa 123 :WW:

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Take it easy on yourself. You are still young. Learn what you can fully before committing. Spend a few years studying until you reach manhood and are ready to make a full decision.

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wow you have it pretty tough at the moment, but you are not alone. Even my parents were kinda against me getting into sikhi...and they;v questioned everything ive done (and i am from a sikh family!) but now they accepting it :wub: and themselves getting more into sikhi :wub:

anyways my advice to you is that you have to still live with your parents so dont hate them/despise them for not being supportive. Learn as much as you can about sikhi, become a better person and eventually they will see that you following sikhi has made you a better person, and will begin to accept it.

Try to avoid alcohol (your underage and its against sikhi) , and try to avoid doing any major sins- relationships/sex outside marriage etc something which u may regret when you are older.

And for now just make your inside pure, eventually when you are old enough to live independently then you can take the outside appearance too :wub: . Just never doubt god, everyone has bad patches spiritually where they have doubts. But if you can get through these "tests" from wahegurji then in the end you will succeed. I hope you all the best.

wjkk wjkf

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I'd suggest you do a sincere Ardas to Guru Sahib to make your family acceptable to your Sikh way of life. I can imagine what you and your parents must be going through as I am myself from a Hindu family. However my situation is different from yours, since my parents, even though Hindus, are still Punjabis and deeply respect Sikhism and the Gurus. Yet when faced with he scene of their son becoming a Singh, they were not exactly happy, which I think is normal and obvious for any parents.

So my friend, hang in there and let Gurujee hold your hand through this rough path, and let Him evolve your parents' minds as well. These things take time so don't rush.

And yea, don't ask Gurujee to show your parents some miracles so that they start believing in Him. Miracles are not a part of Sikhi, but if needed, Gurujee takes care of that department as well. So best leave everything in His hands and you will be fine :nihungsmile:

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Dear Sangat Ji,

i would like to take this opportunity for all the advice offered give to me, i really appreciate it. I am sorry to hear that many other people are going through such traumas as i know how hard it is. I try and do ardaas but trying to learn it while having to close the internet screen due to parents keep walking in and out makes it harder. I feel like a balloon just wanting to burst and practise sikhi to its full extent, however, this is gurus sweet will. I have been told that if i lead the sikhi way of life secretly my parents will know this, i beg to differ, no offence to anyone but they more than likely would just recognise my behaviour changing for the better but no where near relate it to towards sikhi. Also no way would i ever, whether i found out about sikhi or not, i will never drink or smoke etc etc. My parents can push me all they wont to have a little shandy but im not budging! lol. I find the meat issue as well as hair cutting hard, i am going off meat to much of my delight through vaaheguroos blessing, i am not allowed to stop as my parents know its sikhi related but i want to stop for sikhi, for animal cruetly to cease and because its becoming fouler. If i was then allowed to be vege which i would never be alowed to be in the presence of my family i would have to force feed down many vegetables which are so unsatisfactory to my tastebuds. However, sorry for drifting away i am just fed up of being this fake person and fed up of trying to please everyone and me sinning and suffering and nearly crying everytime i shave, eat meat etc as i know it is wrong. Take care,

Khalsa 123

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