Need Some Advice- Suicidal Friend

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

Ok sangat jee,

i am going to speak 2 an elder gursikh tonite, but i thought id get some of the sangats opinions too.

i have this friend, shes going throuhg a rough time. And she thinks suicide is her only answer. I have tried really hard to show her how this isnt the way, through gurbani, i have told her to do ardas. but she thinks she is unworthy of these things. shes still adamant suicide is her only option and now she talking about the best methods.

She doesnt live locally so i cant really see her myself.

Should i get professional help for her, how do i go about it?

she has had professional help in the past but it didnt work out for her.

any suggestions would be appreciated through pm, as im not sure how she will feel about it being discussed here.

i just didnt know what else to do....

vahiguru jee kaa khalsa vahiguru jee kee fateh!

[Revolutionary]

There is no such thing as the "end of the world". My lecturer is a psychiatrist, he had a patient who lost his daughter in an accident, sons died from an illness, wife left him. He wanted 2 kill himself. Our lecturer met him after his attempt of suicide. After agitating/anoying many other doctors, the patient met our lecturer. He told the patient to atleast give life a chance, since he wouldn't listen to other doctors about health advice etc. He did some councelling and other things (sorri dunno the detail) Couple of weeks/months later the same patient contacts our lecturer to say "yes, life is precious".

What would u get out of killing yourself?

Another person wanted to kill himself by shooting up his mouth. Last minute he changed his mind, but too late pulled the trigger - He moved it forward asif to take the gun out of his mouth but it shot his face (avoided the brain) but managed to damage the optic chiasma. He ended up blind because of this mistake and even he appreciated that life is precious.

How do we know what to expect ni the next life? What if all you get is nothing? Just .. nothingness.. not very exciting isit?

Usually its from low levels of dopamine in the mesolimbic pathway - the sense of reward. By merely correcting this chemical imbalance you'll realise that what u was thinking before was madness!

Personally i feel theres 2 types of suicidal ppl:

1) Who ask for attention and never do it

2) Who'll actually try committing suicide

duno which 1 the above-mentioned person is.. so cant really comment on that..

Anyway What do we lose? Nothing. What do YOU lose? Everything

[Demonic Warrior]

I may be able to help but I would need to know what the reason is. Although, if you don't attend on giving that then, the truth is she wants suicide because she is following her karma, her fear. The only thing that can overcome this as said in gurbani, is in fact Dharma. By japping Naam, the only good deed dharam rai accepts. This will wipe her karma out completely, but she will need patience and faith. People have lost faith in God due to being born again and again, and committing sin.

For help with this she will need to do ardaas to God, expressing her feelings with him, not with humans only God understands what shes going through and only he can help her. She shares with him everything, her pain and all that stuff and then what she wants.

Again, shes a slave of her karma and only dharma can defeat it. If you want I can talk to the person directly by email as I'm going through something similar and we might have similar reasons.

Hope that helped.

[Mehtab Singh]

If we knew what exactly the problem was, maybe it would have been easier. Also, lets not start the usual stuff we say. Only someone in a particular situation/circumstance would really know how/what it feels, and so the most important thing would be to put oneself in their position and then react. Every human being has a difference tolerance level. Depending on that, there can never be one standard answer for every person in a particular situation.

bhul chuk maaf

ps: Lets wait for penji to tell us what is the exact issue we are looking at here.

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

hmmm i dont really want to go into detail, because i dont want to upset the bibi in question and she probably wont appreciate me breaking her trust.

thankyou to all the people who have pm's me, some very useful advice was given.

[Guest peacemaker]

How would she know? Does she use this forum? You already told some of it here and have gotten everybody concerned...

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

How would she know? Does she use this forum? You already told some of it here and have gotten everybody concernced...

i think she does.

i wanted advice generally on how to deal with someone who is going through this. so others could benefit from it too.

if i go into all her personal issues, i dont think it would be wise.

maybe im wrong... what do i know?

[xkaurx]

dont talk about her personal issues on here thats private but i think you need to take her to see someone much older and try and see whats going on dont go to a doctor most of them are a waste of time!

[malkeet]

As gurujis sipahi said, there are two types of suicidal patient. One is just seeking attention...for example a girl may slit her wrists after breaking up with a long term boyfriend. These sorts of patients arent classed as a risk because there unlikely to do it again and just attention seeking. After a bit of comforting from family/friends they'l be fine.

The other sort is some1 whom is genuinely suicidal. There are various psychiatric conditions which make some1 more prone to feel suicidal. In severe depression, suicidal thoughts are commonly expressed. Schizophrenics, Bipolar patients also may get suicidal thoughts.

It is important to establish whether or not any suicide attempts have been made previously and if an active suicide plan exists. And how frequently these suicidal thoughts occur.

The fact that your friend is now formulating a suicide plan is quite worrying, but the very fact that she has mentioned this to you is good and shows she understands these thoughts arent normal and wants help.

anyways, i think you should encourage her to book an appointment to see her therapist/psychiatrist asap.

[buddasingh]

in addition to all the good advice above, do you know if she is confiding in someone who is located near her?

if not, is there someone that she will permit you to be in touch with where she is located?

if she wont' do it herself, ask her permission to get her in touch with help where she is located.