Arranged Marriage

[Guest _nobody special_]

Hiya theres something thats been buggin me and i wanted ask people here on what you thought.......well ive never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and was thinking that if i had an arranged marriage would that i was a failure and that i couldnt attact anyone one on my own???..............ive also never done ANYTHING physical with anyone so would my husband/wife look down on me or think negatively if they had been with others before me???.....i would like to ideally marry someone who has also waited BUT with todays people i dont think that gona happen......should i in the end wait for someone has waited or just you know ( not trying to be offensive here but its come out like this) settle for someone who has been with others???

(Mod Note: You have made many topics on this/similar subjects in the past several months. Clearly the issues are bothering you a lot so this one is being approved. But it seems like the SS Gupt Section hasn't been the best place for satisfying your questions.)

[Mehtab Singh]

Priorities! Priorities! Priorities!

Follow your priorities in life, because thats what life is! A journey on a path on which we run after our priorities!

Priorities! Priorities! Priorities!

[mskcan]

Hiya theres something thats been buggin me and i wanted ask people here on what you thought.......

Just to begin some thoughts on marriage: I see before me a vast ocean to be crossed, and towards the horizon I paddle along in my boat, just me and my paddle…

Once by myself, I struggled as I attempted to cross this terrifying World Ocean, swaying here and there as I attempted myself to steer into the horizon. Before I came to know of the Lords Glorious Name, I did not see the Light, but since being blessed by the Saints I see clearly now. I see the path that I must take towards the horizon, the valley of True Nectar and Gods ethereal realm is in plain site. However, I must continue to struggle to paddle the boat on my own. But, the Lord has blessed me with the Divine Union (Anand Karaj), and I have my boat to share with another now.

The One Spirit, the one boat is being traversed by two souls now. The other paddle is swiftly helping to push the boat forward, and the horizon approaches more quickly now. Because the True Guru, the True Saint has showed me the Light, I signal out to my family, echoing the voice of the Lords Divine Name. They traverse this ocean in their own boats, my mother and father have their own. My Beloved Flower sits with me, and makes this journey simple for me, as I see clearly the Horizon.

well ive never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and was thinking that if i had an arranged marriage would that i was a failure and that i couldnt attact anyone one on my own???..............

Very interesting you use the term 'attract' someone for yourself. Do you believe in what your mind says? Do you believe that you attract what you seek? Our thoughts are vibrations, they have the power to affect our physical selves, and the ability manifest whatever they desire. Like the polarities of a magnet with a N and S pole, what state do you see your mind in at this moment? Do you have a convincing thought that whatever it is that you desire , that you have asked the Source for is on it's way? Or do you allow your EGO (basically your minds conditioned negative thoughts to Edge God Out). Consider this carefully, because your mind will become attached to that which you wish to attract, regardless of whether or not its best for you. This is the Blessed free will of human existence.

ive also never done ANYTHING physical with anyone so would my husband/wife look down on me or think negatively if they had been with others before me???.....

This is a sign of your True Inner Self shining through into your actions. You are listening to Truth, or your spiritual consciousness and have done so far, but your mind (remember EGO - we all have it and use this life to challenge it), is beginning to say otherwise. Perhaps your state of conscious (based on external events, or conditioning of the mind from what people say) is beginning to revel in the thought that you won't find that 'special someone'. What do you think, is your mind leading you, or your heart?

i would like to ideally marry someone who has also waited BUT with todays people i dont think that gona happen......

Again you begin by telling us your prayer (you would like to ideally marry someone) then you interject your Spiritual Self with the statement from EGO (BUT - 'todays people i dont think that gona happen'). Is this based on your experience? Or are you afraid of RECEIVING what you ask for? Think about it, have you asked for a Spiritual Marriage Partner, because if you are aligned with that prayer/though from your heart, all you have to do is RECEIVE it when it comes. But if you align with your perception of 'todays people' you will believe in a hostile world in which everyone (big statement that one) is fornicating out of marriage. Which is absolutely not True (had to interject with a fact here). It is only your experiences and perceptions which are conditioning your mind to this idea, and ruling your perception of Reality or your LIFE.

should i in the end wait for someone has waited or just you know ( not trying to be offensive here but its come out like this) settle for someone who has been with others???

Where there is forgiveness there is the True Identity that dwells within the heart of all people. People may have followed different paths in the past, it is what they have been raised with (I know I did, but thankfully God attached me to the Hem of the Divine Robe). Incessant banter that people talk about all the time is the type of thinking you get accustomed to, and believe as True. But Truth is not in ideas, or peoples actions. Truth is the ability to seperate yourself from this World (Dharam Saal) and live your Truth which is unique and hidden within your being (Dharam). Whoever you hang out that is your Sangat, thus we seek the Sadh Sangat and meditate on Naam so that EGO (Edging God Out) doesn't grasp us into believing in a world with Limitations.

There are no limitations on a Spiritual Self, the only limit is the un-inspired mind.

Please see above.

[Tarrandeep Kaur]

Hiya theres something thats been buggin me and i wanted ask people here on what you thought.......well ive never had a girlfriend/boyfriend and was thinking that if i had an arranged marriage would that i was a failure and that i couldnt attact anyone one on my own???..............ive also never done ANYTHING physical with anyone so would my husband/wife look down on me or think negatively if they had been with others before me???.....i would like to ideally marry someone who has also waited BUT with todays people i dont think that gona happen......should i in the end wait for someone has waited or just you know ( not trying to be offensive here but its come out like this) settle for someone who has been with others???

(Mod Note: You have made many topics on this/similar subjects in the past several months. Clearly the issues are bothering you a lot so this one is being approved. But it seems like the SS Gupt Section hasn't been the best place for satisfying your questions.)

Dont worry about it. If youve never had a previous partner good for you. But im sure there are gursikhs out there who may have had relationships before they took amrit, that doesnt make them bad now. The main thing is their jeevan at the present moment. I didnt get all your post, but if you had an arranged marriage u seem to think people wud think less of you cos u havent been in relationships before .... yeh i dont get that. But stop worrying! Things will work themselves out. It doesnt matter if you end up wioth someone who has been in prevoius relationship or not (before they took amrit obviously) main things is who they are now, whats their sikhi and rehit is like.

chill out

gurfateh jee

[Laadli Fauj]

LOL at the mod note

umm

just ask maharaj what u shud do

i agree with the mods, if this is a serious problem, don't asking here anymore

just go to maharaj and ask them what to do

[Mehtab Singh]

There should be a questionnaire

Did you have a relationship before marriage?

• Yes
  
• No
  

When was it?

• Before Amrit
  
• After Amrit
  

Did it get to a point of "physical"

• Yes
  
• No
  

How "physical"

• The usual
  
• I don't want to tell
  
• Why do you want to know