Brick Wall

[Guest Guest]

Its of my opinion he will not last....just like it is of your opinion that he is 'inspirational'. I'm sure I could disagree with you since I hardly class wearing a turban as an inspiration. Wearing turban is basic rehat. It suprises me how many people find something as basic as this so difficult to do - it leaves a lot open to question ie how did we let ourselves get into such a state....philosophically speaking there is much to say on this topic which I won't go into at the moment. However I agree with you that I could have said it abit more tactfully so I apologise for the bluntness in my post.

Either way lets just see who turns out to be right. I'm placing my million dollar bet he won't be able to do it. But if you have faith in him then you can place your million dollar bet that he will be able to do it. Maybe we should leave it at that. I've said all I wanted to say. There is little point in in me arguing with your opinion and you with mine opinion - - so how about we wait for him to report back in a month. I would love to be proved wrong

[japmans]

In all honesty as lovely as you sound, I really don't see you lasting wearing a turban even if your family did say yes this time.. I have this vibe your going to be those temporary 6 month singhs which I know and have met so many times in my life. Actually I wish I could place a million pound bet on every singh who I knew would cut their hair and remove their turban. I would be a billionaire about 3 times over....but alas no betting allowed on singhs!

With that in mind - I don't think you can do it, your always going to look for a problem - so why bother wasting our time and your own time.

Nice of you to hide behind the guest tag as you spew that junk... you`re a class-A <banned word filter activated>.... You think you`re being all productive with your reverse psychology.. at least i HOPE that was your intent, cuz you're terrible for not wanting to help if your only motivation to post was to trash the guy.

Noone asked you to post, Sounds like you're the weak and wimpy one... how come you had to wait for someone else to post before you posted your long reply? Afraid to be in the minority?

I'm glad you know so many people who've gone through problems, here, have a medal for being popular. Hey, next time you post, change your ID name to "Mr. Popular".. then again, tha tmight identify you... or perhaps you need someone ELSE to make your point first, so that you can come in under the radar with a second post

...So, does your "Mr. Popular" medal make you feel beter about life? Perhaps it might give you a small iota of a positive/optimistic outlook. It's funny, cuz here's a guy who is trying to become a Singh and who loves his family. You are absolutely NO authority to decide what spiritual level he is at and his ability to deal with maya. He's going through a tough time, and he needs Guru's Sangat... you have demonstrated that you are the definition of KUsangat. This veer needs to avoid people like you, people who are only out to slight him, out to destroy his confidence.

In fact, you're no better than his family... he's trying to build up courage and esteem and sharda, and it's getting knocked first at home, and then by the people he's trying to find comfort with...

And before you reply with "you don't know who I am or what I've done", that's precisely my point.. you don't know this guy who's asking for help.. you don't know his conditions... you don't know if he's had to go through a serious family issue where he had to become the man of the house, and therefore feels a certain responsibility for the well-being of his mother and sisters.. you don't know if maybe there's other adversities in his family life, or maybe his family is not well liked in his extended family, so they're very close-knit.. you don't know jack about his life conditions, so why don't you just offer some support instead of being, as i mentioned before, a class-A <banned word filter activated>.

Thanks for comin out, Mr. Popular.

[*gupt-kaur*]

I don't know what i need to say here..

just,

if someone not amritdhari.it doesn't mean he can't keep the hair and turban

uh?? im sorrry, i dont agree. we ALL should atleast make AN EFFORT to bcome amritdhari in our life. just because we havent been blessed by amrit doesnt mean we shouldnt build up rehit!

rehit, is vital..... and i belive its soo important to start with kes etc.... prepare urself for amrit.

vjkk vjkf

yes i know let's start to keep kase.it is good...AN EFFORT to AMRITDHARI best

but i told u i am neech aadmi..i don't keep my kase.

may be GURU JI don't want it..

ofcourse gurujee wants it. please start to keep kes, its not that hard, we must keep our khalsa image..... kes it veryyyyy important.. in addition to our inside being pure.

[Guest _gupt_]

to the original poster, all i can say is keep doing your ardas, maraj di ardas is powerful beyond contemplation, thats what i believe anyway, sorry to everyone if i say anything wrong.

To the original poster

Ji....

I know exactly how you feel, since coming into sikhi i have been criticised and shot down by my family on every occasion egs.

- not wanting to go to bars anymore and being called a bibi and laughed at

- starting to wear my patka, and cousins / family saying what the hell is that on your head

- apparently listening to too much keertan and i should be normal and listen to songs and that

- being to extreme

- looking horrible because i keep my kes now

this is just a tiny snippet of everyday life at the moment and many extremeful hurtful things are said on a daily basis to me... and i dont want to sound like some martyr or anything because i know people go through lots worse, and its nothing compared to sacrifices made by singhs in the past, but i just thought id let you know, there are poeple in the same boat and not to worry but (i dont know much at all) but the only simple advice i can give you is...

- stay with good sangat, i dont think it has to bee lots of people, i only know 1 or 2 people at the moment

- do ardaas from the heart, and do your paat (i always do chopai sahib for strength, sometimes many many times a day)

- start slow and build up, do as much as you can

- and dont argue with your family try stay calm and let them get mad etc

- and always remember take one step towards guru ji and he will take a thousand towards you, all i can say is that my life changed in one night and even though all this horrible stuff is going on right now, im sure one day everything will be better

i am very new to sikhi myself and dont know much at all, so sorry if i said anything wrong, and im sure people will correct me. all i want to say is i wish you the absolute best, do paat, simran, read bani, spend time at the gurdwara and with the best sangat you can.... do your ardas and everything will be ok

Fateh ji

-

[Guest Guest]

And before you reply with "you don't know who I am or what I've done", that's precisely my point.. you don't know this guy who's asking for help.. you don't know his conditions... you don't know if he's had to go through a serious family issue where he had to become the man of the house, and therefore feels a certain responsibility for the well-being of his mother and sisters.. you don't know if maybe there's other adversities in his family life, or maybe his family is not well liked in his extended family, so they're very close-knit.. you don't know jack about his life conditions, so why don't you just offer some support instead of being, as i mentioned before, a class-A <banned word filter activated>.

Thanks for comin out, Mr. Popular.

Talk about over reacting japman's. Also thanks for calling me a class-A <banned word filter activated>, may waheguru bless you with a thousand tongues so you can curse a thousand times.

I posted my reply above which should show up shortly when it is confirmed by Admin.

Seems like you know this guy - him being the man of the house, adversities in his family, no extended family so I guess your Mr.Popular seeing as I know nothing. I was infact saying who hasn't had a tough life? We all live tough lives. You me and everyone else has had lives of hell.

When I wore my turban I was a teenager and I was abandoned by my family. My dad changed the house door locks. I only found out when I came home from school since the door would not open ie I could not get in. I cried alot - I loved my family too but at the end of the day there are those who moan about the terrible stuff and those who just get on with it. Nothing should stop you from doing what you know is right. So I followed myself. I have no regrets that family cut me out. Actually it gave me better insight into the human nature and contrary to your opinion it made me a better person. Also recently my family made contact with me and suprisingly my Dad's trying to keep his hair now. So nothing is ever permanent. Life is complex but you should live your life as 'shubh karman teh kaboo na daroo' 'have no fear of doing what is right.'

By the way I am pleased this guy's intents are good but lets be honest - if he wants to do it he will and if he doesn't he won't. I don't see why we must sit here and convince him either way. Also it is of my experience that those who start off with excuses over every other thing they come across do remove their turbans, prehaps I should take back saying he cannot do. I suppose that was out of order as only waheguru knows if he can do it. However I strongly feel you cannot cry at every little molehill because all singhs know that keeping a turban for life is more difficult than thinking of wearing one.

Like I said in my previous post this is my opinion from my experience. Don't waste your tongue on opinions. Why don't we wait to see what he does. If he does keep a turban I am more than happy to help my veer by supporting his journey but I believe it is a two way process, he has to prove he has the drive.

So far it is only talk of 'I want to wear a turban'...to talk you just need to know how to articulate ie what stories to share, what reactions to get out of people HOWEVER the real you is defined by your actions.

I have nothing else to say on this topic. I wish him the best of luck in his journey and forgive me for all my mistakes japmans as I am not even worthy of the charan toor of your feet. May waheguru bless you.

[_anon_]

I will say that you should not wear turban. This is because Sikhi is not desperate for anyone to wear a turban. Sikhi is about making sure those people who do wear turbans are of the best quality. I don't see you lasting to become the best quality so just forget about it.

errrr who do you think u are?

you are trying to discourage someone from keeping a dastaar.

YOU are trying to DISCOURAGE someone from keeping a DASTAAR.

i dont care if its reverse psychology, ur talking rubbish. zip it.

In all honesty as lovely as you sound, I really don't see you lasting wearing a turban

do i even need to comment on this? seriously.

sorry if that was rude, but you had no right to say any of that.

i know im a moorakh who cant control my temper, but im working on it.

to the original poster... i understand how difficult it is to go against ur family. my family have always controlled pretty much everything in my life, and there comes a point where u think, im not listening to u anymore, because what youre making me do is wrong.

increase the amount of gurbani you read on a daily basis. listen to kirtan wherever you are, whatever ur doing. be strong, and maharaaj will do even more kirpa. do as much ardaas as you can, and keep the sangat of those who will bring you closer to guru jee. hope everything works out

[s8220]

An impressive array of replys. I shall answer:

To Guest who seems to have had such a tough time - I fully appreciate why my excuses/reasons would elicit the reaction they did from you. I'm not planning on arguing. I do however think I should clarify the reasons for the creation of this thread.

It was mainly to let those who had open heartedly congratulated me know, that their praises were misplaced. I had hoped it was implicity clear I didn't ask for answers, advice or opinions. It was simply to share. I am, however, slightly taken aback at the magnitude of your response. Each to his own, good luck to you. I see little point in commenting further.

To everyone else, thank you for your kind words. My sisters pretty much raised me so after 22 years the respect has been earned and is ingrained. If they were so vehemently against my decision and placed all these tasks for me to complete, then fine, I will complete them and earn the right to move forward.

I will try my very best to do more paath now, especially when I need it. As Guru Ji said:

Jeh sukh deh, ta tujeh aaradhi,

Dukh bhi tujeh diyai

Bad things happen, but by definition, if they're from God they cannot be bad. Again, as Guru Ji Says:

Kitiyeh dookh, bookh sad mar,

Eh bhi daat, teri dataar.

So fine, if i had to go through this then I will. I'll figure it out, and concede that my path will be what it is. With this, I'm going to do Kirtan Sohila, go to bed and probably forget about this thread.

Thanks for the kind words and support once again

Fateh

[Bored]

no offense but i find it funny that ur sis cried cuz u wanna keep ur kesh.

You notice that its plain stupidity. there telling you ur not ready? how would they know? only u wud.

its not ur sisters life, not ur families life. live your life . you come alone into this world, you will leave this world alone.

[Guest _japmans_]

Guest, you're right, i was extremely angry by your reply. I probably took it too far, but I was upset by your response. Maybe we all HAVE had a tough life.. maybe so.. unfortunately...that doesn't mean we shouldn't extend help to those when they realize they can't handle it alone...

It's obvious there's a lack of priorities on the side of the sisters... but that doesn't mean it's automatically not difficult for the guy

and no , i don't know him.. In fact, i have NO idae who he is, if he's north american, UK, india or what not... I have zero idea whatsoever who this guy is. That's the point though... we don't know who this guy is... since we know nothing about him, it shouldn't be such an easy task to dismiss his efforts and say "no you mighta s well jus quit, you're pointless"

unfortunately, that thing that most mothers tell their kids is true.... "everyone is different".. so even though you, I, some others may have had crazy adversity growing up either from within the family or outside it... it doesn't mean that just cuz we "toughed it out" or "got through it alone", that we must expect everyone else to do the same... For me, I wish there was more support around me when my times were tough.. NOW i try to be that support to others... why subject others to the loneliness and pain that arises from a lack of sangat???? what do i gain from it?

That's all. Again, it was my immediate anger that took over, and I should've taken a couple more time to calm down before tossing the <banned word filter activated> tag out there. It just irked me that you so easily decided that he wasn't worthy to be a singh.

I don't think anyone is trying to convince him one way or another.. lending support is simply that... lending of support.. I agree all problems are transitory, for the most part they're here today, and gone tomoorrow... while they're here, it's nice to have some support.. that's all I'm suggesting we do.. instead of throwing him under the proverbial bus and disregarding his efforts.

My apologies for overreaction

[saint-soldier]

I know u didnt ask for advice but i couldnt help myself

If you decide to keep your kesh it's your decision, if you family is having a hard time accepting the fact that you want to walk on the path towards waheguru then no offence but i suggest you start praying for them to.

Ask yourself if you do what they say and start learning gurmukni and change yourself from inside, would they then let you keep your kesh??? if yes then why cant you keep your kesh now and then change yourself from inside???

right now your family is making decisions for you regarding you being ready or not.... no offence but do you realise this sounds a bit stupid.

Its your decision not theres so i suggest you stop thinking as if they get to decide if you are ready for it or not. Talk to your family and if you want to keep your kesh and become a sikh then tell them and not ask them..... with waheguru's kirpa they will accept it.