Marriage Allowed With...

[P_1984 0]

Hello i have a guestion about a marriage.

I love a girl, and we both live in england. But my dad en her mum are from the same pind in india.

Is it allowed in our culture/sikhi to marry in this situation.

I dont know anything about this thing. I am confused.

My friend told me that girl cannot marry in the same pind, were her naanke are?

Is this true men.

Tanx for helping me out.

[jasleen k 3]

Hello i have a guestion about a marriage.

I love a girl, and we both live in england. But my dad en her mum are from the same pind in india.

Is it allowed in our culture/sikhi to marry in this situation.

I dont know anything about this thing. I am confused.

My friend told me that girl cannot marry in the same pind, were her naanke are?

Is this true men.

Tanx for helping me out.

there is NOTHING in sikhi which says you cannot marry someone from the same pind.

certain sections of punjabi/haryanvi culture do seem to prohibit this, to the point of murdering those who do it. so you should probably check with your parents to see if they're SIKH first or if they're PUNJABI first, then go from there.

http://www.medindia.net/news/Upper-Caste-V...ple-36797-1.htm

Among the Jat caste of the conservative northern state of Haryana, it is taboo for a man and woman of the same village to marry. Although the couple were not related, they were seen in this deeply traditional society as brother and sister.

[Guest P_1984]

I understand what you say about same pind marriage.

But this Girl is from other pind, only her mum is from same pind.

We go to same college, and we know each other very well.

I am 22 and she is the first girl in my life, i love her. Maybe i sound stupid. But who made this crap of not marrying.... sometime i don't understand my culture.

I even know some guys who pretend to love a girl and then leave them.

But i cannot do this to her because it will shame to my family.

i don't know what to do. My dad would never agree.

i am confused now.

[Guptkaur1 23]

Thats just silly! theres nothing wrong with it!

[sitargirl 0]

Your definately supposed to not marry someone as the same tribe surname as your parents and or grandparents tribe as your considered to be related, even if you cannot establish a direct link...

eg. If my mums tribe is sandhu and my dads tribe is gill then i cannot marry a sandhu or gill.

Now I may find a Sandhu or Gill and they may not be related to me but the fact that there is a same tribe name means there was a link somwehere and its considered too close of a relationship.

The same goes for the pind thing....your considered too close. Its basically done to keep the gene pool mixed and reduce genetic problems etc.

[jasleen k 3]

The same goes for the pind thing....your considered too close. Its basically done to keep the gene pool mixed and reduce genetic problems etc.

what kind of behaviour goes on in these pinds that people don't even know if they're related? :o

[P_1984 0]

but is there also a problem if only the mother of the girl is from same pind.

because here naanke are from my pind.

[beantsingh 0]

Well since you asked the question from a cultural standpoint, it is not. It is not permissible to marry anyone from the clan of either your parents let alone village.

[sitargirl 0]

The same goes for the pind thing....your considered too close. Its basically done to keep the gene pool mixed and reduce genetic problems etc.

what kind of behaviour goes on in these pinds that people don't even know if they're related? :o

lol u never know! Jokes. The guy hasn't told us here but I bet you the guys dads and girls mums surname are the same cos pinds are small. Also if ure going in the same pind people are likely to have similar genetic characteristics, features which is why they settled together...so its for that reason that its considered as good as tribal overlap...

This question is basically about perspective and whats best...technically we can marry anyone....and we should...

But then if i love my cousin should I marry him...in our society marrying ure cousin is taboo.....but in some cultures especially mirpuri culture its actively encouraged as they consider it an insult to reject a family member for a 'foreigner'.

You see its all about perspective. For mirpuris not marrying ure cousin is like saying i hate my family, they are not good enough for me so i will get someone else but for the vast majority of the population marrying your cousin is ewwww.

Now in all honesty nothing in this world is right or wrong but there is always whats the best practical option. Again best differs for people and in all honesty best is based on individual and society experiences etc.

In Punjabi culture people apply the principle of not marrying in close tribal or pind relations. Like I said its to increase the variance more than others might do.

[jasleen k 3]

Well since you asked the question from a cultural standpoint, it is not. It is not permissible to marry anyone from the clan of either your parents let alone village.

according to sikhi, there is NO restriction on marrying someone who's mother is from the same villiage as yours.

please don't encourage jatt culture in a sikhi forum.

[sitargirl 0]

Well since you asked the question from a cultural standpoint, it is not. It is not permissible to marry anyone from the clan of either your parents let alone village.

according to sikhi, there is NO restriction on marrying someone who's mother is from the same villiage as yours.

please don't encourage jatt culture in a sikhi forum.

Jasleen bhanji. i know u mean well but its not jatt culture....its punjabi culture because I know pathare, tarkhans and many other tribes follow the same principles too. Also Punjabi culture is not all bad.

In regards to sikhi all souls are considered the same...however that does not mean we marry our dads, brothers or cousins....No where does it say in sikhi that I cannot marry my dad. However it is not acceptable to marry my dad due to the close genetic link. Likewise this is the same prinicple but it is extended to tribes and pinds where genetic features are similar.

[RKang17 0]

but its not jatt culture.....

[beantsingh 0]

please don't encourage jatt culture in a sikhi forum.

Like SitarGirl said it has nothing to do with Jatt culture, and the question was asked from a Punjabi culture standpoint so it should be answered accordingly

[jasleen k 3]

Jasleen bhanji. i know u mean well but its not jatt culture....its punjabi culture because I know pathare, tarkhans and many other tribes follow the same principles too. Also Punjabi culture is not all bad.

In regards to sikhi all souls are considered the same...however that does not mean we marry our dads, brothers or cousins....No where does it say in sikhi that I cannot marry my dad. However it is not acceptable to marry my dad due to the close genetic link. Likewise this is the same prinicple but it is extended to tribes and pinds where genetic features are similar.

sorry if i've offended, but i know it's not common across all of punjab, because i've done a lot of research on this issue after some high profile "honour killings". the trend is mostly among the primarily agricultural people from malwa region (some harianvi jatts practice it too), that's why i said "jatt", but sure, other "tribes" practice it. that does't make it sikhi or even logical.

having children with anyone outside of the first cousin level of relationship is not a problem from a medical and genetic standpoint. even if we think it is, we should be able to keep track of who we're related to and who we're not.

or we could all just marry people of a different nationality altogether, just to make sure.

[sitargirl 0]

the trend is mostly among the primarily agricultural people from malwa region (some harianvi jatts practice it too), that's why i said "jatt", but sure, other "tribes" practice it.

As a punjaban I can tell you that that you need to research some more. I disagree with the notion that its among the jatts....culturally its widespread across all punjabis with each tribe/caste following it to different levels... I can tell you that its more among the pathara caste/tribe. They go upto grandparents.......so rather than 4 sets of data you have 8 sets to deal with....the rest of the tribes/castes only go as far as parents.

that does't make it sikhi or even logical.

Sikhi says nothing about who you marry. Its very open. Marry your dad and your fine cos it doesn't say in Sikhi don't marry your father. Sikhi only says to marry someone who brings you closer to waheguru....if ure father does that then fine marry him...

Logically if we think then it does make sense. Its about gene pool and avoiding similar genetics but its upto you if u want to see that.

having children with anyone outside of the first cousin level of relationship is not a problem from a medical and genetic standpoint

I disagree....its all about the alleles the couple give to the offspring. Obviously beyond cousins the risk of recessive illnesses decrease but that does not mean its not a problem. Medically even if you have a non-cousin marriages you can produce genetically ill children.

even if we think it is, we should be able to keep track of who we're related to and who we're not.

In all honesty, war, migration, families not talking to each other means this is not possible. I don't know about you but I started doing my family tree and its tough..hence why i appreciate this ancient system of keeping track of relations.