Help Me

[xHarinder_singh]

Mata Kaulan has been one of the GREATEST gursikhs in the panth. Sarovar Kaulsar adjacent to amritsar is also on her name. Mata Kaulan was adoped at a young age by a muslim priest who raised her up as a father, gave her islamic education. Later, Mata Kaulan heard Sri Sukhmani Sahib from Mian Mir jee and fell in love with sikhi. That quazi was a religious bigot and intolerant and used to beat Mata jee for singning gurbani. Then Guru Hargobind Jee Maharaaj jee came to know about all this and gave instructions to sikhs to bring Mata jee to Amritsar and gave her a home to stay where she could practice sikh faith completely without any fear. From this we understand the following :

1. If a person wants to practice the sikh faith and is stopped by his parents, spouse etc... that person shud give the sikh faith top priority, even if it means breaking the relations with parents, spouse.

Hence, if Romakaur wants to practice sikh faith and wants her future kids to practice sikh faith and is being stopped by her husband, she has full right to divorce him.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki Fateh.

As I mentioned earlier i have done some mistakes in life which can never be forgiven as I have married a non-sikh. but i have always respected my parents. I love them more than anyone else in this world. Today im most bothered about them only if i divorce my hubby how would they take it.

I can't consult my hubby for this coz i don't have issues from his side. why will he leave his religion for me, as i won't do it for him.

Now i realise all this. which is too late.

Gloomy days of love were completely different. I don't know why I have made this out of my life.

I feel hatred on myself, when i think what all crap why i have done. i don't understand how many things are running in my mind.

As the Guest have told, there will be many people who will blame me,but truly speaking Im the one who needs to be blamed.

I can tell u all one thing, The life which im living these days, is no less than a punishment. i was the princess in my guru's eyes but now my surname would be changed, that means im no more my guru's princess.

i need courage now to talk to my hubby & my parents.

i need guru kripa to make them understand. I know people would laugh at me, as I have no marital problems but thinking of seperation but now i feel these all are temporal relations. the true & only relation is the relation between my soul & the guru.

I have to take a decision in life now. i would be doing that now. In few days i will talk to all of them.

I got a lot of courage by posting my problem here.

Thanks a lot to all of you.

It's like my Guru is showing me the path in this way.

Thank you once again.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Romakaur ji,

Everyone makes mistakes, some you can correct others you have to live with.

One reaps what one sows according to Karma. Only by remembering & chanting NAAM one will escape bounds of Karma.

You don't respect institution of marriage and want to get rid of all boundations, then there is no point reasoning things out. But please don't use 'Kaur' tag to justify your actions. You didn't respect life commitments to parents and husband as a normal human being and now you want something which requires even more commitment and self restrain.

Sikhi shows the path in which one has to travel on both wheels Temporal as well as Spiritual. Both are equally important and inter-dependant. Destination can never be reached on just one wheel !

If you are living in India and are fooling with the idea of easy Divorce then let me warn you that you are in it for the "Ride of your Life", unless it is mutual.

As for your parents it will inflict more wounds & suffering, which would be nothing compared to your marriage wound & suffering. Keep that in mind !

Gurmat says

ਜੋ ਹੋਆ ਹੋਵਤ ਸੋ ਜਾਨੈ ॥ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਅਪਨੇ ਕਾ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਪਛਾਨੈ ॥

जो होआ होवत सो जानै ॥ प्रभ अपने का हुकमु पछानै ॥

Jo hoa hovat so janai. Parabh apne ka hukam pachhanai.

(ਸੇਵਕ) ਆਪਣੇ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਦਾ ਹੁਕਮ ਪਛਾਣ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ, ਤੇ, ਜੋ ਕੁਝ ਹੋ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ, ਉਸ ਨੂੰ (ਰਜ਼ਾ ਵਿਚ) ਜਾਣਦਾ ਹੈ

Source: http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.g...amp;p=0&k=1

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[sherlsurj]

what a situation!!!ai havent got a clue what to say. no offence but u mustve huirt a lot of people inur family and takes lifetimes to sort out sumtimes. also i dont know what ur husbands customs r.

all i can say is let people learn from the mistake u made. their must be a lot of peeps just startng out relationships with other religions/races etc/ id try and make sure they dnt make the asme mistake

[Guest Guest]

Romakaur! stop thinking negatively and that you have made a mistake!!

Now is the time to merge with GuruJi, just dont stop your paath and life of sikhi. HAve you even spoken to your husband about this yet? Is your husband spiritual? Why don't you ask for him to participate in doing Japji in the morning with you? Speak to him, he's not a stranger! He's been your husband for 2 years! Stop looking at your sisters, what you done was through guru's hukam. Stop feeling bad..

Please don't listen to these people who are telling you to get a divorce.. that's just silly! What you have done was out of your own choice and you are not letting your parents down! Increase your paath and meditation to guru ji. It doesn't sounds like your husband is stopping you from practicing sikhi SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!! You would do a lot better if you teach him about sikhi, this is not about you are sikh and he is hindu...you are children of the same creator! Both of your aims ultimately are to reach waheguru so help yourself and help your partner! stop thinking negatively please.....

[.- Prabhjot Singh -.]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh.

Dear freinds,

I need your advice. im in a very confused state of mind. please help me out.

I'm a Professional working in a good position. Mine was a love marriage to a non-sikh after my parents accepted after lots of persuasion. my hubby is a real nice guy by heart. we love each other a lot.

Its been 2 years since we got married. my family is completely into sikhi & even now i do paath & don't cut my hair as i was before marriage.

but now i feel i have betrayed Guruji by marrying someone out of sikhi. I feel very guilty for it. these days when i see others who are married to sikhs i feel what mess i have done. now i feel i want to divorce him. but what about my family who loves me so much, what explanation can i give them & the society. its not a easy life for a divorcee.

I want to come back to my sikhi..i feel bad many times in a day..when i have to do some hindu customs which i don't believe in. Now i feel im born in such a beautiful religion where male & female are regarded equal but what have i done of my life.

My husband loves me a lot..but now i think love is a temporary feeling, the ultimate truth is being in your religion but sad thing i realised it very late.

Im dying several times in a day.

Please help me out. i need your help & advice very badly.

Thanks

Wjkk Wjkf pehn ji,

As the person above me said - please do not think negatively. Maybe Waheguru Ji has put you through this test, have faith in Him. You said your husband loves you a lot, why dont u test that then? Make him sit down and have a proper chat with him - explain to him the emotional turmoil you are going through, and that you wish your kids be raised as sikhs. If he really loves you for what you are, he will agree. Also, try explaining to him that as much as you respect his beliefs, you want to practice sikhi lifestyle, and that he shouldnt force him into doing pooja or whatever rituals his family (and your family now) follows. Along with that, do as much path as you can, I would suggest a sehaj path of Guru Granth Sahib ji, do ardaas regarding this and leave the rest to Akal Purakh. If He has decided you guys stay together, then you will surely find mutual understanding, if not, then accept his Hukam with a smiling face and ask Him what to do next, He WILL reply if you ask with true faith. All the best

Bhull Chukk Maaf!

[Romakaur]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki Fateh.

Thank you all for your support & advice. It has given me lot of encouragement & courage.

My husband is a very good person, very religious. but he would never accept him to be a sikh neither the kids.

I didn't talk to him directly about this, but spoke to him indirectly & came to know about this.

Im in sikhi, doing paath daily. which he never minds but i have perform other rituals which they do at his house too.

i have to take stand on it now.

Lets see where Waheguru takes me from here. I have left everything on him now.

Thank you all once again.

[JustME]

waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki Fateh

Pehji i can totally sympathise with you situation as i went throught something very similar myself but i was not married..........from experience my first advise to u is that marriage is not a joke, as you have made this commitment, you need to be open and frake with your husband about how you are feeling...............all im saying is waheguru is deel dyaal, why shouldnt your husband be given a chance to see what you see in sikhi, i understand where you say that he will not change his religion etc etc..............but i am saying is that untimatly, waheguru knows everything and you own that much to your husband to tell him this and see if this is indeed something you can both embarke on together............as long as the choice is there.............it is up to him.......remember waheguru has given you time to develop your relationship with guruji, and your husband deserves the same chance............the rest is then up maharaj but always stay right from your side and remeber sikhi isnt just for you but for the whole world.............

plz forgive me if i in anyway spoke out of term.......me murakh

waheguru.............

[Guest guroooo]

give it some time, carry on progressing with your sikhi and try and talk with your husband more. make sure he understands what you are going through and the love you have for sikhi. make your intentions clear that you would like your children to be in sikhi. note. that if you take amrit then you will not be able to have a physical relationship with your husband until he follows suit, the panj pyare should make this clear. so if you are aiming to become gurus sikh and take amrit then unless you have kids already having children in the future will be impossible unless your husband becomes sikh also.

was your current marriage according to sikh rights i.e anand karaj? if so this shouldnt be taken lightly and all measures should be taken to try and make this a fruitfull gurmat marriage where both you and your husband become gursikhs. if this is not possible then divorce is an option. but you should weigh up the consequences and seek guidence from maharaj. it sounds like you are very focussed and have a love for sikhi in which case you probably already know what you need to do

god bless you

[Guest _taranjeet_]

Dearst Romajee,

Dhan Is u to share the wound of mind withe such a kind ,

Please accept our dandout at ur feet,

Oh divine incarnation of Satnaam who never incarnates,

Sikhi means leading a life of student , sikh means student we all are students by nature we learn things from start of life to end of life so we all are sikh's irespective of our religion we all are learning but we may learn bad habbits and earn deeds so to get a good learning real learning we must try to become follower of Guru the one who has light of God in his/her heart to become Gur-Sikh Now that Guru is within us as inner Guru leading us in to follow our heart , follow the truth , follow the wisdom then by Kripa of Apaar Paar Sat-Kartar Din Dayal we got External GOd-Guru Gur-parmeshar in form of dehi and Bani if we realy want to srive to become beloved of Guru become Gur-sikh then we must follow the instruction of Guru , Gur-Mat not Man-Mat & Duniyawee Mat which we tend to follow and get hurt and Bani Guru Guru hai Bani wich bani amrit Sare , so follow the God-Guru's Wisdom which says us to sacrifice self in Love it do not teaches us to hurt any one benji in earlier post is very write to tell that this all will hurt more , and this is Hukum for u to follow the heart to reach God-Guru in this form of living or lifestyle or religion only just do not have any worry for kids , all religions are same and teach us to love not to get separtared in such issues of external rehat, internal rehat from Kaam-krodh,lobh,moh ,ahaankaar,trishna,mans,desires , hopes is real other is just a piece of show like a banana skin so do not eat banan skin trade for banana , Sat Da leo Serhana te soo jayoo pritam di mithi yaad vich ,

All written above is Our Guru's wisdom we are nothing to have anything all is his only Tan-Man-Dhan Suaonp Guru ko Hukum Maniye Payee te Bhavsagar Paar Langh Jayeeye.

just a fool and ur charan dhoor.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

waheguru ji ki Fateh.

As I mentioned earlier i have done some mistakes in life which can never be forgiven as I have married a non-sikh. but i have always respected my parents. I love them more than anyone else in this world. Today im most bothered about them only if i divorce my hubby how would they take it.

I can't consult my hubby for this coz i don't have issues from his side. why will he leave his religion for me, as i won't do it for him.

Now i realise all this. which is too late.

Gloomy days of love were completely different. I don't know why I have made this out of my life.

I feel hatred on myself, when i think what all crap why i have done. i don't understand how many things are running in my mind.

As the Guest have told, there will be many people who will blame me,but truly speaking Im the one who needs to be blamed.

I can tell u all one thing, The life which im living these days, is no less than a punishment. i was the princess in my guru's eyes but now my surname would be changed, that means im no more my guru's princess.

i need courage now to talk to my hubby & my parents.

i need guru kripa to make them understand. I know people would laugh at me, as I have no marital problems but thinking of seperation but now i feel these all are temporal relations. the true & only relation is the relation between my soul & the guru.

I have to take a decision in life now. i would be doing that now. In few days i will talk to all of them.

I got a lot of courage by posting my problem here.

Thanks a lot to all of you.

It's like my Guru is showing me the path in this way.

Thank you once again.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Romakaur ji,

Everyone makes mistakes, some you can correct others you have to live with.

One reaps what one sows according to Karma. Only by remembering & chanting NAAM one will escape bounds of Karma.

You don't respect institution of marriage and want to get rid of all boundations, then there is no point reasoning things out. But please don't use 'Kaur' tag to justify your actions. You didn't respect life commitments to parents and husband as a normal human being and now you want something which requires even more commitment and self restrain.

Sikhi shows the path in which one has to travel on both wheels Temporal as well as Spiritual. Both are equally important and inter-dependant. Destination can never be reached on just one wheel !

If you are living in India and are fooling with the idea of easy Divorce then let me warn you that you are in it for the "Ride of your Life", unless it is mutual.

As for your parents it will inflict more wounds & suffering, which would be nothing compared to your marriage wound & suffering. Keep that in mind !

Gurmat says

ਜੋ ਹੋਆ ਹੋਵਤ ਸੋ ਜਾਨੈ ॥ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਅਪਨੇ ਕਾ ਹੁਕਮੁ ਪਛਾਨੈ ॥

जो होआ होवत सो जानै ॥ प्रभ अपने का हुकमु पछानै ॥

Jo hoa hovat so janai. Parabh apne ka hukam pachhanai.

(ਸੇਵਕ) ਆਪਣੇ ਪ੍ਰਭੂ ਦਾ ਹੁਕਮ ਪਛਾਣ ਲੈਂਦਾ ਹੈ, ਤੇ, ਜੋ ਕੁਝ ਹੋ ਰਿਹਾ ਹੈ, ਉਸ ਨੂੰ (ਰਜ਼ਾ ਵਿਚ) ਜਾਣਦਾ ਹੈ

Source: http://www.srigranth.org/servlet/gurbani.g...amp;p=0&k=1

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh