Living With My Family

[llarofeno]

Greetings to all. This is my first of a whole line of threads I will be making. Im here in such of help & adivce and for all other reasons.

Im sure many of you who read this will be able to relate to how i found & discovered Sikhi in depth. in at 19, living in the U.K, through my mid teens I went through the worst, faceing things, lost in kam and turning to it insted of the Guru and after a while i had the power to stop that to a level and focus on Sikhi.

Iv reached a stage where i can control 4 of the 5 evils so good, as we all know these evils will come to you no matter how strong you are at fighting them off, though if you can you have nothing to be worried about. I dont drink, or smoke, eat meat and things are looking on the up compared to a few months, rather years before.

But what iv discovered latley is that i cant go any further with my surroundings, your company can be your downfall and my family i think is that. I live with my father who doesn't believe in waheguru ji, my brother who is in his early teens, the normal I Pod listening, car loving, with the gelled hair boy who hasn't the idea of sikhi and my mother, with the western up bringing who all though has faith in waheguru ji doesn't bother to take sikhi to another level even when i have talked to her which is fair enough as we all find our way individually. I love my mother, father & brother but i living here is hard in a sense where i dont feel free to feel waheguru ji within or anything else.

I can be on the p.c listening to the daily hukamnama, kirtan or anything got to do with Sikhi and someone will walk in having somthing to say.

The higiene of the house that i live in is no joke.

The smell of meat being cooked. Fish, chicken, pork, bacon, lamb. All entering my room what makes me sick.

The way of talking and communicating, useing foul words, anger at times, the loud cheering over somthing small.

So much more i can say and im sure this is in alot of other punjabi sikh house holds in the UK and anywhere else (however more or less). I really can't live around this. Yess i have tried to sit and talk in a civil a fair way. My father says when you get your own house you can do what you like, my mother doesn't know what to say and thinks i take Sikhi too far which im sure other parents have said to their children and my par ji waheguru ji bless him is still young but like nearly all in that age of being lost though hes still growing like any other young man. Theres no where else i can go and im still in Education.

I Always picture of my very own house, inside being so simple, a room which has white sheets over the carpet, silverware, pictures of Guru Ji on the wall (of course without being worshiped), and all you can here is kirtan. I just want a Sikhi environment. this is really having a effect.

[Dukh Nivaran]

Hmm, You should reallly sit down with your family and tell them how you are into Sikhi and tell them to back off abit, just remember even if they disagree, make sure whatever you do, don't run away from home. If it helps, spend more time in a Gurdwara and I hope and will pray that you follow the path of Sikhi. Until then fateh jee!

[.- Prabhjot Singh -.]

Waheguru!! :D Firstly, let me congratulate you for coming back to the Sikhi roots! you have managed to achieve a lot in such a small age, it is really incredible!

About your family being non-supportive: according to my tuchh buddhi, I can understand it must be difficult for you to focus with all the anti-sikhi stuff going around at your place. As you said, it would be ideal if you were to live in an all gursikh environment but sadly it is not so in your case? So, the question is what to do? Veer ji, im just a nimaana banda, cant say much because I myself have a lot of learn but my heart says that with the path and Waheguru ji's grace, you can make a change in your home. It may not be instant, but stick to your beliefs and do ardaas to Waheguru ji to give your family members some sumatt. Waheguru ji has got immense treasure with him, who knows, one day they just might change their viewpoint and appreciate you for your love for sikhi jivan! Think of the bhagats: Bhagat Ravidaas for example, he was a chamaar, used to deal with leather still his heart was always with the Akal Purakh. I am not saying that we can be like him (or maybe we can, with Guru's grace), all I am saying is just keep yourself to bani and do as much path as possible.

If they yell and shout, Id say just turn up the Gurbani in your room to a level where you dont get to hear the 'noises'. That way, you can listen to Gurbani better AND keep noises at bay about meat, dont worry veer ji, see if you can get your own cooking gear and keep it exclusive. Let them eat whatever they want, coz as you said they wouldnt listen, you can tell your mom politely if you can have a simple meal cooked seperately? If that is too much for her, maybe you can cook our own food? See if you can come up with some options?

Veer ji, moving out MIGHT be the right answer, but they are your family after all. You need support, being still in your late teens and all. By the way, Maskeen Sahib once said 'A sant plays his ROLE in the family, but lives with Akal Purakh all the time'. So, just play your role as a son, brother, etc. but dont let these issues bother you, keep reciting manglacharan whenever they are around, see if that makes any difference!

I dont know if I have given any proper advice but veer ji, dont worry, just do more abhayas and you will be fine

[Harjeet.Singh]

Im in the exact same situation as you, still suffering from kam, getting grief from parents, and things, but the good days always seem to be, when i can focus on naam and gurbani. On somedays im just too engrossed in worldy things, and when ever i try to do paath, i just can't focus, or even focus on doing simran. But recently i have found, that when doing ardas, from the heart, in a position where you bow your head to the guru, and i ask God, for me to only obey him, and only be attached for him only, then after that everyday is becoming better. And then i always realise, afterwards that it was just the Lords command, to have a bad day or whatever, because afterwards you realise things, you learn from it and gain experience. Pain is the remedy while joy of mammon is the disease, you just got to remember this. Sometimes when i'm enjoying myself, in worldy affairs, i forget God, only afterwards, when im in pain do i start to remember God, i was using God. This is not the way to go. By remembering God always you are kept happy. Not just when you need him.

All you need is great focus and concentration, then focus on gurbani and naam, because all the answers you need are there, but it is just sometimes, you are not taking all in all of guruji's advice. If you focus on God, and only him him, all your problems shall be resolved.

[llarofeno]

Thanks for the advice. It all has helped, is all true and im feeling the love. Its just the start and will take time.

[.- Prabhjot Singh -.]

Thanks for the advice. It all has helped, is all true and im feeling the love. Its just the start and will take time.

:D May Waheguru give you all His blessings on your spiritual journey veer ji!

[Eaek Gun Nahee]

i knw hw u feel in da sme situation aswell :6

[wjkk wjkf]

lol join the club - we got t-shirts

[Guroo Guroo Jaap]

And biscuits!

[simonsandhar]

Greetings to all. This is my first of a whole line of threads I will be making. Im here in such of help & adivce and for all other reasons.

Im sure many of you who read this will be able to relate to how i found & discovered Sikhi in depth. in at 19, living in the U.K, through my mid teens I went through the worst, faceing things, lost in kam and turning to it insted of the Guru and after a while i had the power to stop that to a level and focus on Sikhi.

Iv reached a stage where i can control 4 of the 5 evils so good, as we all know these evils will come to you no matter how strong you are at fighting them off, though if you can you have nothing to be worried about. I dont drink, or smoke, eat meat and things are looking on the up compared to a few months, rather years before.

But what iv discovered latley is that i cant go any further with my surroundings, your company can be your downfall and my family i think is that. I live with my father who doesn't believe in waheguru ji, my brother who is in his early teens, the normal I Pod listening, car loving, with the gelled hair boy who hasn't the idea of sikhi and my mother, with the western up bringing who all though has faith in waheguru ji doesn't bother to take sikhi to another level even when i have talked to her which is fair enough as we all find our way individually. I love my mother, father & brother but i living here is hard in a sense where i dont feel free to feel waheguru ji within or anything else.

I can be on the p.c listening to the daily hukamnama, kirtan or anything got to do with Sikhi and someone will walk in having somthing to say.

The higiene of the house that i live in is no joke.

The smell of meat being cooked. Fish, chicken, pork, bacon, lamb. All entering my room what makes me sick.

The way of talking and communicating, useing foul words, anger at times, the loud cheering over somthing small.

So much more i can say and im sure this is in alot of other punjabi sikh house holds in the UK and anywhere else (however more or less). I really can't live around this. Yess i have tried to sit and talk in a civil a fair way. My father says when you get your own house you can do what you like, my mother doesn't know what to say and thinks i take Sikhi too far which im sure other parents have said to their children and my par ji waheguru ji bless him is still young but like nearly all in that age of being lost though hes still growing like any other young man. Theres no where else i can go and im still in Education.

I Always picture of my very own house, inside being so simple, a room which has white sheets over the carpet, silverware, pictures of Guru Ji on the wall (of course without being worshiped), and all you can here is kirtan. I just want a Sikhi environment. this is really having a effect.

in the almost exact situation except i have an older sister instead. just keep doing ardaas and ask for Guru Maharaj to take you into his loving embrace and all the problems will go away i promise. i bet theyre already going away and you will begin to realise this in no time.