A Marrage Dilema?

[Bahney]

I realize I may come off as a bit of an fool here so I will lay my cards down on the table right away to avoid confusion.

I know nothing about being a Sikh, I know very little about the religion and I will hold my hands up and say I really am a fish out of water with everything here but I would appreciate some advice on a dilemma I have and I did not know who else to ask really.

my girlfriends parents are Sikh, they are not what I would call devoted by any means but they are Sikh none the less, my girlfriend and I have been together a while now and I want to pop the question to her, I plan to ask her dad for her hand in marriage which is my own custom, but I was curious if there was anything else I have to do? i.e. give there mum and dad a gift or some kind of formality before asking her?

I have done a little reading up on it but everything seems so formal and family orientated but they are not really like that, her mother has severed all ties with her own family and her father is English but has joined the Sikh religion. so is there some kind of gift I give to her mother or something?

I just don't want to ruin it by being culturally ignorant

Thank you

[Nehmat]

I realize I may come off as a bit of an fool here so I will lay my cards down on the table right away to avoid confusion.

I know nothing about being a Sikh, I know very little about the religion and I will hold my hands up and say I really am a fish out of water with everything here but I would appreciate some advice on a dilemma I have and I did not know who else to ask really.

my girlfriends parents are Sikh, they are not what I would call devoted by any means but they are Sikh none the less, my girlfriend and I have been together a while now and I want to pop the question to her, I plan to ask her dad for her hand in marriage which is my own custom, but I was curious if there was anything else I have to do? i.e. give there mum and dad a gift or some kind of formality before asking her?

I have done a little reading up on it but everything seems so formal and family orientated but they are not really like that, her mother has severed all ties with her own family and her father is English but has joined the Sikh religion. so is there some kind of gift I give to her mother or something?

I just don't want to ruin it by being culturally ignorant

Thank you

Aw Sweet! =)

Gift? I think you can take a fruit basket all wrapped up nicely or a few boxes of Punjabi sweets. You can, also, take your parents along with yah. And yes, visit the girls parents only if they know about your relationship with their daughter because sometimes cultural differences can be a real problem. I think you know what I mean.

This is really cute. All the best. Do tell us 'how it went'. =)

[mskcan]

I realize I may come off as a bit of an fool here so I will lay my cards down on the table right away to avoid confusion.

I know nothing about being a Sikh, I know very little about the religion and I will hold my hands up and say I really am a fish out of water with everything here but I would appreciate some advice on a dilemma I have and I did not know who else to ask really.

my girlfriends parents are Sikh, they are not what I would call devoted by any means but they are Sikh none the less, my girlfriend and I have been together a while now and I want to pop the question to her, I plan to ask her dad for her hand in marriage which is my own custom, but I was curious if there was anything else I have to do? i.e. give there mum and dad a gift or some kind of formality before asking her?

I have done a little reading up on it but everything seems so formal and family orientated but they are not really like that, her mother has severed all ties with her own family and her father is English but has joined the Sikh religion. so is there some kind of gift I give to her mother or something?

I just don't want to ruin it by being culturally ignorant

Thank you

Most apparently this appears to be a cultural issue that is perhaps best discussed with your significant other.

There are no customs of any kind within Unadulterated Sikh ethos, except for the condition of being loving, caring, and compassionate.

Stating that the individuals do not follow or perhaps practice Sikh Spirituality, it does not appear as if there are any concerns to be highlighted.

[Khalsa Army]

If you want to marry her in a Gurdwara You WILL have to convert to Sikhi and reconigise Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as the True Guru. You will also have to Add Singh as your middle name in passports and all other documents.

May the Guru bless your marrige (if her family agree's)

[JustME]

If you want to marry her in a Gurdwara You WILL have to convert to Sikhi and reconigise Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as the True Guru. You will also have to Add Singh as your middle name in passports and all other documents.

May the Guru bless your marrige (if her family agree's)

Realy? so ho0w many punjabi anand karaj couple recongise Guru Granth Sahib Ji as their guru and adhere to a respectful sikhi code of conduct!

And what about the "Singhs" out their with that title added to their passports and legal documents but sit a the Desi British Queen Pub the night before and and hour after their anand karaj?

:gg:

[Khalsa Army]

If you want to marry her in a Gurdwara You WILL have to convert to Sikhi and reconigise Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as the True Guru. You will also have to Add Singh as your middle name in passports and all other documents.

May the Guru bless your marrige (if her family agree's)

Realy? so ho0w many punjabi anand karaj couple recongise Guru Granth Sahib Ji as their guru and adhere to a respectful sikhi code of conduct!

And what about the "Singhs" out their with that title added to their passports and legal documents but sit a the Desi British Queen Pub the night before and and hour after their anand karaj?

:gg:

I know what your saying. All the Gurdwara have signed up to these new rules that if a non sikh wants to marry they have do the above in order to marry in a gurdwara.

[mskcan]

If you want to marry her in a Gurdwara You WILL have to convert to Sikhi and reconigise Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as the True Guru. You will also have to Add Singh as your middle name in passports and all other documents.

May the Guru bless your marrige (if her family agree's)

Realy? so ho0w many punjabi anand karaj couple recongise Guru Granth Sahib Ji as their guru and adhere to a respectful sikhi code of conduct!

And what about the "Singhs" out their with that title added to their passports and legal documents but sit a the Desi British Queen Pub the night before and and hour after their anand karaj?

:gg:

I know what your saying. All the Gurdwara have signed up to these new rules that if a non sikh wants to marry they have do the above in order to marry in a gurdwara.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but is Singh not supposed to be a suffix as in the last name of an individual to remove casteism?

[Bahney]

Aw Sweet! =)

Gift? I think you can take a fruit basket all wrapped up nicely or a few boxes of Punjabi sweets. You can, also, take your parents along with yah. And yes, visit the girls parents only if they know about your relationship with their daughter because sometimes cultural differences can be a real problem. I think you know what I mean.

This is really cute. All the best. Do tell us 'how it went'. =)

i am planning to pop the question in march on a romantic weekend get away so it gives me enough time from now to get a ring ajusted and paid for before then, spent ages picking the right one..hope she likes it, lol

i already know her parents very well, i see them everyday and they approve of me..well i hope they do, lol i just was really makeing sure that if there was some kind of gift or ritual or custom that i would be aware of it and make sure that i did it first

Most apparently this appears to be a cultural issue that is perhaps best discussed with your significant other.

There are no customs of any kind within Unadulterated Sikh ethos, except for the condition of being loving, caring, and compassionate.

Stating that the individuals do not follow or perhaps practice Sikh Spirituality, it does not appear as if there are any concerns to be highlighted.

well being loving caring and compassionate are all boxes i have ticked i tell her every day how much she means to me and how much i care about her and i look after her like she was a princess her dad does not practice it spirituality but i think her mum does, she has pictures of guru nanak(is that how you spell it?) and loads of other stuff like that in her bedroom and certanly knows a great deal about being a sikh, i was just making sure that there was not some cultural gift that i present to the parents of the bride to be, just as i sign of my respect

thanks for the advice though and if anyone else can think of anything then please feel free to let me know

[Nehmat]

i am planning to pop the question in march on a romantic weekend get away so it gives me enough time from now to get a ring ajusted and paid for before then, spent ages picking the right one..hope she likes it, lol

i already know her parents very well, i see them everyday and they approve of me..well i hope they do, lol i just was really makeing sure that if there was some kind of gift or ritual or custom that i would be aware of it and make sure that i did it first

March?! Far away isn't it?!...Just teasing! :happy:

As for the ring, choose it with a lot of love. It doesn't have to be expensive. It just needs to be given out of a lot of love. It'll just add on to the value of the ring a million times more... =)

It's nice to hear that her parents approve of you. Makes it easier for you. If you aren't sure though, ask her. Ask her if she has told her parents about you and about how they feel about you.

And yea, I think a nicely wrapped fruit basket would do just fine!

[Bahney]

If you want to marry her in a Gurdwara You WILL have to convert to Sikhi and reconigise Dhan Dhan Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as the True Guru. You will also have to Add Singh as your middle name in passports and all other documents.

May the Guru bless your marrige (if her family agree's)

Sorry maybe i should have been more clear.

start from the top

my girlfriends mum was born in india and moved with her family to england when she was 4, when she was 19 she fell in love with an english man and had to leave her family for him, which she did and has not spoken to them since then, she cut all ties so to speak.

my girlfriend is half indian and half english and we would be having an english wedding in a church which is what she want's

i suppose i am just worried about her mum, i just wanted to make sure i respected her faith