I C U As My Bro/sis. Now, Lets Get Married! :)

[alias]

i recently had a question asked to me (bout a year ago!) that,

''why is it that we are told to look at guys and girls as brothers and sisters, (easy question to answer..), but then when marrage comes, we are then to look at them as a spouse..and then try to have kids/make a family with them..isnt this a bit wrong? like, how are we just supposed to say, 'ur my spouse now' after thinking of them as your brother or sister? i personally feel that if a person can change their mind like that at will, then they didnt really believe truely, that guys and girls are the brothers and sisters..''

my reply was that you are supposed to treat them as you would treat your own siblings.

but i feel that there is a lack of 'fundimental' mass in my answer!!

what else could be said? (please a thoughtfull answer will be much obliged!) because, i see this problem, as a real problem that may be subjected to critical scrutiny given some time...

gurfateh.

[Barfi n Mithai]

Its about how you are going to treat people. In western culture there is no concept of treating everyone as if they were family. Western culture is very self centred where it is me against them. My family versus your family.

But in eastern cultures everyone is aunty, uncle, bro, sis. It does not mean they are literally family but it is used to symbolise your moral duty to give that same respect and love to all of humanity as if they were one of your own. This symbolises all of humanity being one family where we care and feel others pain as if they were our own family. This humanity reasoning is the why everyone is addressed as if they were family.

But obviously you have to marry so we will all marry within the humanity family....if you know early on that you have another intention then you shouldn't call them bro/sis.....the words then are mangetar or hooneh wali/a.

So in a nutshell people use family names like aunty/uncle/bro/sis to show humantarian love.

[alias]

^^ i personallly think it is much more than this, and this may mess with the brain of the person trying to figure out what a guy or girl is to them.. but ok. thanks for the input/post..

[alias]

anyone else care to comment??

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

anyone else care to comment??

In my opinion, we are taught to see others as sisters/brothers and mothers/fathers in order to eliminate lust, and to help build/maintain a sense of trust and a willingness to respect others.

Only a couple that is (to be) married should ignore the 'sis/bro/mom/dad' thingy when the individuals think about each other...BUT that's cuz they're MARRIED.. Their relationship is completely different compared to others.

When people reach the time in life when they should consider marriage, they are (expected to be) more mature, and that's when they should be told to keep away from kaam.

Telling people to view the opposite gender as a sis/bro helps prevent unacceptable/immoral behaviours/actions.

Think of it this way......

Innocence in childhood days...people teach children to respect others by telling them that everyone else is a sis/bro which helps the children respect others the way they would respect their sis/bro..

Adolescence...people keep the children grounded and away from kaam by reminding them that everyone else is a sis/bro would help prevent/eliminate immoral/disrespectful/kaamee actions..

Near marriage time...people try to remind the adults that the person they are to marry is the sis/bro/daughter/son of someone (just like their family is) to prevent possible kaamee thoughts/intentions, when the focus should be on the possible soul mate, not the body etc..

It's not only applying to individuals of the opposite gender!!!

If everyone ACTUALLY saw people as sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers..there would be a lot less crime rates, domestic violence, and, of course, sexism..(along with all the other psycho activities out there) cuz people do not wish to harm their family members.

It's not just about teaching people to respect the opposite genders as they would treat their sister/brother...it's more of a 'Respect others like they are your own.' ...or... 'Treat them the way you would treat your family.' way of thinking. This allows people to love and respect even strangers, which creates a better environment for everyone.

(Just my views.. Please don't bash me..)

...peace

[Servant of Sat]

Sat Sri Akal,

Hi everybody,

We are here to realise God and complete the journey of our soul. So, lets keep it to that. But majority of us don't, we become trapped in Maya and forget the purpose of this priceless life and this is why Guru ji is reminding us "This is your only chance to meet God, dont lose it". How many of us have met God, i think until then we are not really jivan-mukt and If we are not experiencing him within us and outside us, we are surely going somewhere wrong...

Lets hope that we practise the divine wisdom (wisdom of the guru i.e. SGGS), so that we become true followers of SGGS, so that we also experience what SGGS is telling us, so that we truly understand, practise and become gurbani.

God bless you all.

[alias]

anyone else care to comment??

In my opinion, we are taught to see others as sisters/brothers and mothers/fathers in order to eliminate lust, and to help build/maintain a sense of trust and a willingness to respect others.

Only a couple that is (to be) married should ignore the 'sis/bro/mom/dad' thingy when the individuals think about each other...BUT that's cuz they're MARRIED.. Their relationship is completely different compared to others.

When people reach the time in life when they should consider marriage, they are (expected to be) more mature, and that's when they should be told to keep away from kaam.

Telling people to view the opposite gender as a sis/bro helps prevent unacceptable/immoral behaviours/actions.

Think of it this way......

Innocence in childhood days...people teach children to respect others by telling them that everyone else is a sis/bro which helps the children respect others the way they would respect their sis/bro..

Adolescence...people keep the children grounded and away from kaam by reminding them that everyone else is a sis/bro would help prevent/eliminate immoral/disrespectful/kaamee actions..

Near marriage time...people try to remind the adults that the person they are to marry is the sis/bro/daughter/son of someone (just like their family is) to prevent possible kaamee thoughts/intentions, when the focus should be on the possible soul mate, not the body etc..

It's not only applying to individuals of the opposite gender!!!

If everyone ACTUALLY saw people as sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers..there would be a lot less crime rates, domestic violence, and, of course, sexism..(along with all the other psycho activities out there) cuz people do not wish to harm their family members.

It's not just about teaching people to respect the opposite genders as they would treat their sister/brother...it's more of a 'Respect others like they are your own.' ...or... 'Treat them the way you would treat your family.' way of thinking. This allows people to love and respect even strangers, which creates a better environment for everyone.

(Just my views.. Please don't bash me..)

...peace

gurfateh,

to start with,im not gona bash you! :rolleyes:

most of what you said, i see it in that way too.

but :D .

what if there is a kid and he is told bro/sis ideology, then when he is grown up, he has to marry them...

calling that person penj or paaj his or her whole life then having to start a family with them, wouldnt that mess with the persons mind<<<<< this is at the heart of the question that i got asked.

to me, ma mate that asked me this, had a misconception. hence i said you are supposed to see them as bro/sis.

but ill be sure to add that this ideology is there for us to keep kaam at its lowest. so thanks!

Sat Sri Akal,

Hi everybody,

We are here to realise God and complete the journey of our soul. So, lets keep it to that. But majority of us don't, we become trapped in Maya and forget the purpose of this priceless life and this is why Guru ji is reminding us "This is your only chance to meet God, dont lose it". How many of us have met God, i think until then we are not really jivan-mukt and If we are not experiencing him within us and outside us, we are surely going somewhere wrong...

Lets hope that we practise the divine wisdom (wisdom of the guru i.e. SGGS), so that we become true followers of SGGS, so that we also experience what SGGS is telling us, so that we truly understand, practise and become gurbani.

God bless you all.

that was a nice post!

but... <_< wot bout replying to the topic question? :6

[Papi]

We are suppose to respect other's as as we respect our brother/sister/mother/father etc. That does not mean you call other's bro/sis. If thats how things were then no sikh would be able to get married as every person of opposite sex would become their brother or sister when they met them.

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

We are suppose to respect other's as as we respect our brother/sister/mother/father etc. That does not mean you call other's bro/sis. If thats how things were then no sikh would be able to get married as every person of opposite sex would become their brother or sister when they met them.

AGREED

It's not only applying to individuals of the opposite gender!!!

If everyone ACTUALLY saw people as sisters, brothers, mothers and fathers..there would be a lot less crime rates, domestic violence, and, of course, sexism..(along with all the other psycho activities out there) cuz people do not wish to harm their family members.

It's not just about teaching people to respect the opposite genders as they would treat their sister/brother...it's more of a 'Respect others like they are your own.' ...or... 'Treat them the way you would treat your family.' way of thinking. This allows people to love and respect even strangers, which creates a better environment for everyone.

[alias]

We are suppose to respect other's as as we respect our brother/sister/mother/father etc. That does not mean you call other's bro/sis. If thats how things were then no sikh would be able to get married as every person of opposite sex would become their brother or sister when they met them.

i dont think thats totally true. everyone that is trying to be a better gursikh they call each other penj or paaj.

sant hav commended guru gobind singh ji on making the khalsa fauj one big family. so i think its wrong to say that we cannot call other's bro/sis. why then do the elderly (even if we dont know them) say 'puth'. it is not wrong. in guru gobind singh jis bani it says that everyone is your mum dad bro sis son daughter respectively as per age. ( suppose that this can also be seen as a rehet.)

i think in conclusion, we are only supposed to treat others as per mum dad bro sis son daughter.

would it then be correct to say > we are supposed to see others as mum dad bro sis son daughter<? i dont think so but what does sangat think?

gurfateh