Why Does Bride's Family Pay For Wedding?

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

Ah good old khalsa_girl_1, you failed to see he was joking

My apologies then. Really sorry.

And I ain't old <_< Lol...no, I don't really think you meant I'm old.. Just thought I'd smile along

khalsa girl ji,

If you are married then i must say your husband is GREAT, even GREATER are your in-laws.

If not, then don't worry your parents will find someone for you !

I'm not married. Nor will my parents find someone for me.

I wish to just go around and help others. Humanity work+marriage etc will make that difficult.

My parents don't like appreciate it, but they are not angry with my choice either.

In addition.. Even if I still would have wanted to eventually get married, my parents would not choose for me...lol

How many Gursikh or Khalsa women (from Punjabi background) do you know, who are allowed to marry some guy entirely of their choice.

Does this mean that Gursikh men are allowed to marry someone of their choice more than women (from Punjabi background)?

The above is not a rhetorical question, nor an indirect comment. It's a sincere question.

Moreso how many are bold and independant enough to take marriage decision by themselves ?

So lets stop kidding !

You mean women? ...like 'how many women are bold and independent enough to make a marriage decision by themselves?' Or did you gursikhs..men and women?

In present times if one is SERIOUSLY looking for a marriage partner then he/she has to be PRACTICAL in their approach.

1. You only have the option to choose from the proposals available to YOU, rest is just fantasy.

2. If you are after Money then look for that, forget the rest. Similarly if after Visa or Immigration consider that compromise other aspects and so forth........

3. Don't wait all your life, take initiative.

Yes.. Agreed.

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I believe the concept behind the girl giving, etc is also tied to the natural "giving" of a wife/mother. A mother provides her whole life, be it for her kids, herself and her family. When a part of her life is complete by living at her parents house, she now moves onto to give and provide (not money wise) to her jeevan saathi (husband) and her in-laws and future kids. Maybe the fact she brings a lot with her in her assistance.

Another reason may also be the fact parents never want to arrive at thier daughers home empty-handed or giving her nothing. This is why when she gets sent off, her parents provide her with many gifts and useful things to have that inner feeling of satisfaction and knowing that their daughter is well prepared for her new life and journey and nothing is lacking.

Today, dowry is simply disguised as gifts given by the parents such as new houses built for new weds, new beds, big monetary gifts and cars, etc on different occasions.

Agreed.

There is no inequality or greed embedded within these old rituals but to todays femenists it's a whole new perspective.

If women want equality, then remember, within equality there is no choice; both sides are the same.

In today's world, women often flower-pick what they want equality in and what their fine with in its current state. This is just one of the reasons i hate feminists. I encourage equality though.

@

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There is no inequality or greed embedded within these old rituals but to todays femenists it's a whole new perspective.

If women want equality, then remember, within equality there is no choice; both sides are the same.

Yeah..feminists shouldn't jump to conclusions. But... It isn't peoples fault for thinking that this belief is in favor of the guy and his family, instead of the girl and her family...when it used to be in favor of the girl and the guy. there is now greed embedded within these practices though, right?

In today's world, women often flower-pick what they want equality in and what their fine with in its current state. This is just one of the reasons i hate feminists. I encourage equality though.

Agreed.. There should never have been/be such things as feminists.

However, there are different kinds of feminists, so don't hate them all.

In addition..can a guy really judge a girls thinking/mindset?

[harsimran kaur]

Stop dissing feminists.. without the feminist movement, women wouldn't even have the right to vote or study in universities!

And there's still a lot to do, it seems.

[Guest Guest]

khalsa girl ji,

If you are married then i must say your husband is GREAT, even GREATER are your in-laws.

If not, then don't worry your parents will find someone for you !

I'm not married. Nor will my parents find someone for me.

I wish to just go around and help others. Humanity work+marriage etc will make that difficult.

My parents don't like appreciate it, but they are not angry with my choice either.

In addition.. Even if I still would have wanted to eventually get married, my parents would not choose for me...lol

In my opinion GHAR JAMAI would be ideal for U,

Putting up a guy at your place, feeding him, washing & ironing his clothes and massaging his feet is the BEST HUMANITARIAN WORK which you could do !

How many Gursikh or Khalsa women (from Punjabi background) do you know, who are allowed to marry some guy entirely of their choice.

Does this mean that Gursikh men are allowed to marry someone of their choice more than women (from Punjabi background)?

The above is not a rhetorical question, nor an indirect comment. It's a sincere question.

Most of the Gursikh or Khalsa girls are product of Strict & Disciplinarian parents, very rare will you

come across one who chose the Sikhi way of life entirely on her own. Normally all major life decisions of the whole LOT is taken by their parents. Don't believe me, do a survey.

Moreso how many are bold and independant enough to take marriage decision by themselves ?

So lets stop kidding !

You mean women? ...like 'how many women are bold and independent enough to make a marriage decision by themselves?' Or did you gursikhs..men and women?

Normally both (Gursikh men and women) being products of Strict & Disciplinarian parents.

But guys do get away as parents are lenient towards them but it is not the same when it comes to their own daughters, i.e double standards.

I believe the concept behind the girl giving, etc is also tied to the natural "giving" of a wife/mother. A mother provides her whole life, be it for her kids, herself and her family. When a part of her life is complete by living at her parents house, she now moves onto to give and provide (not money wise) to her jeevan saathi (husband) and her in-laws and future kids. Maybe the fact she brings a lot with her in her assistance.

Another reason may also be the fact parents never want to arrive at thier daughers home empty-handed or giving her nothing. This is why when she gets sent off, her parents provide her with many gifts and useful things to have that inner feeling of satisfaction and knowing that their daughter is well prepared for her new life and journey and nothing is lacking.

Today, dowry is simply disguised as gifts given by the parents such as new houses built for new weds, new beds, big monetary gifts and cars, etc on different occasions.

What you say is true in respect to few communities and financial class. Not valid for all !

The very reason to give dowry or Istri Dhan was to give some financial security to the daughters as they were not given any Share in ancestral property. Now there is no justification in not giving dowry and no share in property.

If women want equality, then remember, within equality there is no choice; both sides are the same.

In today's world, women often flower-pick what they want equality in and what their fine with in its current state. This is just one of the reasons i hate feminists. I encourage equality though.

Your analysis is right, but equality is an Utopia.

[Khalsa_Girl_1]

khalsa girl ji,

If you are married then i must say your husband is GREAT, even GREATER are your in-laws.

If not, then don't worry your parents will find someone for you !

I'm not married. Nor will my parents find someone for me.

I wish to just go around and help others. Humanity work+marriage etc will make that difficult.

My parents don't like appreciate it, but they are not angry with my choice either.

In addition.. Even if I still would have wanted to eventually get married, my parents would not choose for me...lol

In my opinion GHAR JAMAI would be ideal for U,

Putting up a guy at your place, feeding him, washing & ironing his clothes and massaging his feet is the BEST HUMANITARIAN WORK which you could do !

As I mentioned earlier.. I'm not getting married. It isn't necessary for everyone right....

..........How can you have an opinion such as MARRIAGE for someone else anyway.... ?

I know what is ideal for me, but thank you.

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I forgot what GHAR JAMAI meant anyway...

Putting up a guy at your place, feeding him, washing & ironing his clothes and massaging his feet is the BEST HUMANITARIAN WORK which you could do !

Now that^^^ is for people in utopia.. Those are really good jokes though lol :rolleyes:

Guys think they are stronger and can do a lot more than women anyway..

...So....................moving an iron thingy shouldn't be too heavy for guys, right? I mean..my brother's been doing it since he was 9 years old.

If my brother started it age 9, it should be the easiest thing for a grown man to do. *THUMBS UP*

Great joke you have though... :lol: 8-)

Feeding him....nice joke lol.. My baby cousin has been feeding himself since he was one. :lol:

Oh...massaging his feet............ Massaging machines are way better.

Your definition of 'humanitarian work' and my definition of the same word are not parallel to each other.

So let's leave it at this. :lol:

[Guest Bally]

@jasleenk: i totally agree bhenji.. Most people try to apply sikh teachings selectively to justify non sikh concepts and principles. Costs related to a SIKH wedding are low so finance isnt an issue, and it should be split equally if it is an issue.

[Wicked Warrior]

If their is equality in sikhi and np dowry then how come, bride's parents must pay for the wedding? I believe it should be 50/50 but my sister's soon to be in laws want us to pay for the wedding and then gift their family members gold, etc. I know it is an old tradition from when it was thought to be like dowry that the groom gets "payment" for being the one that now has to take care of the bride but seriously, this is old fashioned and just cultural, not religious.

As a man, I would never ask for dowries. I also have no respect for those who demand dowries. Those who demand dowries are responsible for the female infanticide that goes on. IMO they are equally responsible for murder.

Tell the family if they want a dowry, no marriage. If the man is serious about getting married to your sister, he will be happy to do so without a dowry. If they still demand dowry, does your sister and your family really want to get involved with such people? What demands will they make further on? See this as a sign of what can be expected.

[Guest NISHIT]

If their is equality in sikhi and np dowry then how come, bride's parents must pay for the wedding? I believe it should be 50/50 but my sister's soon to be in laws want us to pay for the wedding and then gift their family members gold, etc. I know it is an old tradition from when it was thought to be like dowry that the groom gets "payment" for being the one that now has to take care of the bride but seriously, this is old fashioned and just cultural, not religious.

The in laws r very religious but this is annoying. they keep saying, we want good food, good entertainment, this and that but aren't willing to pay even a little. they r in uk btw not india so i would have assumed they left behind this old mentality and moved on to the 21st century but i guess not.

my question: is this something that is cultural or according to sikhi? my parents don't want to force them to pay b/c they say they would treat my sister badly later on. I told my sis to find a guy on her own that is willing to leave on his own, not with parents as she is really stressed and unhappy about this.

Punjabi's r unfair and hypocritical. one on hand they say they r religious then they still want to be punjabi but lots of punjabi things don;t go hand in hand with religion. a lot of the traditions and cultures r sexist, etc.

anyways, rant over!