I Love Sikhi, So Why Does My Family Think Im A Nut Job

[gsinghysingh]

wjkk wjkf

I have a few questions to ask, if any one has any suggestions feel free.

I am a mona, i cut my kes after school one day when i was 14. Not having a clue about sikhi only the fact that if i cut my hair, dad will kick the <banned word filter activated> out of me. Ever since, i have been getting deeper and deeper into sikhi and have regretted the day i cut my kes.

I have tried countless times to grow my hair back with no luck. I do hope one day it will happen, i'm just trying to learn as much as i can with gurbani. learning, reading, understanding and putting its teachings into my daily life.

I have noticed with my new found wisdom from sri guru granth sahib ji and sri guru dasam granth ji (yes i did say guru but pls dont get into it) i have been arguing a lot with my family, telling my mum or dad not to do that or this, having a go at my brother or sisters as to whats wright and wrong. What can i do about this, what part of gurbani would relax and chill me out.

this next problem really gets to me, i think others on the forum have or are experiencing this to. I have noticed that i am the only person in my family who is spiritual. When i do nitnem, or read gurbani my family think im a wierdo. My mum, dad (my dads a kesdhari), brother and sisters are not interested in sikhi and have lost all atachment to religion. I feel like i dont want to be apart of the house hold, i feel so offended with the lack of respect for sikhi.

what you think plp.

[humkire]

Dear gsinghysingh Jee,

A very important part of Sikhi is sehaj , i.e chillax . Everything has to happen in a nice beautiful flow. Sikhi is about beauty and the REAL beauty of life . Sikhi makes a depressed person feel happy and joyful . Sikhi makes an angry person calm down and be wise . Sikhi makes a quarrelsome person very loving and lovable . Sikhi is not about judging others , hating others , cursing others , patronising others or accusing others , but about being caring , loving , sharing especially with those closest to you .

Sikhi is not about getting intense and behaving as if you are hyper or having hyperthyroid and being erratic . Infact , try to understand deeply every sentence of nitnem you do and read it slowly and lovingly so its music to the ears of anyone who listens . I understand what you are saying . It can be very annoying being with anyone who aint like you but sikhi is about being patient and gentle with those who dont understand it . thats how you help others to become sikhs .

Circumstances in my life are that i do not have any family around me . I have 7 white young guys who are my tenants in my house , each with his own room. I tell you what , they really love me deeply as their dad and as their true friend and brother. I am very patient with them . I do not condemn them for their lifestyle choices but i show them sikhi love . Every meal i cook , i put on plates and bring it to their rooms as if its guru ka langar free for all . sometimes i get them all to sit on my dining table and feed them . if i go to do keertan , i invite them and tie them a hankerchief. I am always showing interest in whatever they do -their work , their studies , thir family . If they are sick , i give them medicine . Slowly slowly they are realising that a sikh is a very very beautiful person to be close with . i discuss every of their problems with them . i help them find work . i treat them as my own . As time has gone by , all this contact helps me to tell them about sikhi a little at a time . they respect the fact that during the night they can softly hear prayers coming from my room as well as simran chanting . they can all say the word waheguru . this is not all about me . this is Gurujee's mahan kirpa that has taught me that i gotta try to be an angel to be a good sikh . 2 of them have given up all drugs and drinking alcohol since they started staying here . they even follow my good examole and take cold showers in winter!!!! one has even taken on a sikh name now . all this doesnt happen in a day . i have to be true to my Father and introduce my Father gently to all those around me . This is sikhi .

As a young struggling Sikh your focus has to be on getting Sikhi right in YOUR life . thats the 1st step . Never understand Sikhi as some little religion to do with dos and donts only which makes u tell off those who dont do as you do . ALL your gurbani and nitnem reading should be pointing out to you how to see God in your parents , brothers and sisters , how to be humble and compassionate , always listening , always helping others , how to be humble , honest and extremely , absolutely kind , and taking a deep interest in the lifes of people close to you .When you slowly become a strong sant-sipahi , everyone around you will start respecting you and supporting you . Always pray for everyone in your family after your nitnem too . They need your prayers very badly . All your amritvela chanting shpould be helping you to be a happy , intelligent , cheerful , relaxed person . Your reading of DGGS should be helping you to be a very confident , powerful , vibrant , warrior that defends his parents , brothers , sisters and friends and makes them feel protected by you .

Do not bother about anyone thinking you are a weirdo. you got to do what you got to do , no matter what anyone says . but its better to do as much as you can more privately than do it in people's face . nitnem , simran are best done in your own bedroom , slowly and lovingly without drawing attention to yourself . Never be a noisy guy that puts everything on show . Your relationship with your FATHER is your business so try keeping it to yourself . What you allow people to ever see is the love and beautiful character that God gives you because you are close to God . Try to keep all changes to your lifestyle more to yourself and always try sharing very humbly why you do what you do . If the response is hostile back away .

Dont feel offended about what anyone around you does . You got to focus on your life . Sikhi is a gift that doesnt easily come to all . Your role in your family is to be the angel in the family loving them and looking after them . That way they will love you , support you and hopefully one day be sikhs too.

You need to offer your mom every assistance in her shopping and cleaning the house , and offer to wash yur dad's car if he has one . Offer to do the ironing . Do the washing up for everyone after dinner . Offer to cook too . Look after your brother , show interest in his studies , buy him things he likes from time to time . likewise love your sisters deeply and protect them . If you can do all this , you will be a very fine example of what an angel a sikh is, and what a powerful warrior- saint a sikh is .

[ladli-fauj]

I feel You Bro, My Moms Side Of Family Is Radhaswami And Sometimes I Find Myself In Small Arguments with my mom on how I think Radhaswami followers are being led by people who made everything up them selves..... If your father is kesdhari ask him why he thinks you are weird. Tell them if me (you) meditating on God is weird and doing naam simran is weird than you are. Talk 2 them about what you are thinking, don't try to always find your self telling others on how things should be. two years ago when I found myself being even more attracted to Sikhi I was doing same thing, but chill bro and help out with things like Humkire said

[MokhamSingh]

WAHEGURUJIKAKHALSAWAHEGURUJIKEFATEH.

There are many Gurbani answers to your question but the one that springs to mind is:

ਕਬੀਰ ਲਾਗੀ ਪ੍ਰੀਤਿ ਸੁਜਾਨ ਸਿਉ ਬਰਜੈ ਲੋਗੁ ਅਜਾਨੁ ॥

कबीर लागी प्रीति सुजान सिउ बरजै लोगु अजानु ॥

Kabīr lāgī parīṯ sujān si▫o barjai log ajān.

Kabeer, I am in love with the All-knowing Lord; the ignorant ones try to hold me back.

[amritsaria]

You cant force people to think the same as yourself. Carry on with what you are doing, but try and be patient with others rather than telling them what is right and what is wrong. Who are we to say what’s right and what’s wrong. Maybe in their hearts they do remember God but just don’t put it on show.

When you start learning about Sikhi it can all become overwhelming at first, purely because your mind and heart will be at peace and you've found answers you were looking for.

Forcing or telling your family they are doing something that you feel is wrong is unfair to them. What if they cant keep up with you in the amount of simran/ nitnem etc you do... or worse still you make them start and they cant keep it up.

Try talking to your family. Sometimes a simple communication problem can blow all things out of proportion. Rather than thinking everyone is against you, try acting relaxed about it. I’m sure they will be supportive of you.