Feel Disgusted With Myself

[Guest disgusting]

Fateh everyone

ok so i'm an amritdhari girl, wear a dastar, and have facial hair. i've never had issues with it before, but i don't know what happened to me today. i plucked a couple hairs off my face today and i feel soooo shitty. i don't know what to do anymore. i cried for an hour and then did ardas to Guru Sahib and took a hukamnama. what Guru Ji basically said was that he hides the faults of his humble servants. but i still feel like crap! i know i have to go pesh, but i don't want to keep making mistakes and going pesh for it. Amrit is a serious thing and i feel that i've been taking it for granted. what should i do? any suggestions?

[Matheen]

Go pesh, ask for forgiveness and don't do it again! Change the sangat you keep if you need to.

[thesoldier]

I feel for u fam...

Bak in the days of Sikh raaj, Goray had to grow their daaris to go and see Shere punjab maharaja Ranjit singh.

If the dogra brothers did not sell out to the gorays we would still have had our raj and sikhs would not have been gulaaam like we are all over the world.

I was a amrithari, alot of my sikhi has gone.... but thank good my paat hasn't, im weird i kno but i still love sikhi

Jus wish we Sikhs had our land, our Raj

[Tera]

Phenji... Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Jee Kee Fateh!

Living Sikhi is not an easy task, Maharaj themselves say the true path is sharper than the edge of a sword and finer than a strand of hair. But with Vaheguru's kirpa it is perfectly possible to achieve. It appears in a moment of madness, you committed a bujjar kureit so you will have to go pesh in front of panj pyares ASAP. Do not think though that you have 'broken' your Amrit and 'give up' but instead learn from this and help it make you stronger.

Can see the pyaar you have for Guru Jee and Sikhi from your post and its amazing and its that pyaar you have, that will carry you across this life ocean.

About facial hair, I feel there is a big difference between 'beauty' and 'perfection'. Western society has this ideal of what a perfect person should look like but beauty is something completely different. Good story about that here actually (The most beautiful heart) But think about it, Maharajiya da Maharaj, Sri Guru Guru Gobind Singh Jee dee kuree hovay, Dastaar naleh Sri Sahib Sajee hoya, Khalsa Roop hovay... Nothing can be more beautiful. :BL:

[Guest Guest]

Go for pesh and dont worry too much about it. The fact that you feel really bad about it is a very good sign - alot of dastarwali Singhnia do hair removal, bleaching and electrolysis, laser etc and don't care. How bad you feel now will probably deter you from doing it again in the future.

[Guest Veerji]

bheinji, i'm attaching a post that another singhnee wrote a while back. the bibi herself deals with facial hair and is responding in another thread about a bhein facing a similar problem...

Author: Sarbloh Kaur 


Date:   05-06-05 09:12


>It was your shortsightedness. What else can we say?


Maybe it was OUR shortsightedness too. Maybe we didn't give her enough encouragement and reassurance, and maybe we didn't ever show her what faith is. I've never seen or known of any woman with more facial hair than myself, but I'm fortunate as I've been surrounded by Sangat that gave me encouragement and showed me what real faith is all about. There were times when I struggled and my Sikhi hung by a thread even finer than the hairs on my face. Without Sangat, I would surely have landed in the same boat as the bibi we are referring to in this thread. If this bibi was given the support I was given, I doubt she would have fallen.



Bhain Jee, if you're reading this, let me tell you, living with facial hair is not easy. I know first-hand that you've gone through hell. By walking through hell, I believe you could have ended up someplace wonderful, but instead, you've gone through hell only to end up in hell at the end of the day. It pains me to know and feel everything you've gone through, but it pains me even more to know that despite the distance you've come, your journey was in vain.



You went through so much, but you didn't learn from it. What was there to learn? You should have learned about Gursikhi pyaar, and you were in the best of all positions to learn about it. You should have learned that all those filled with false love have drifted away and distanced themselves from you. Who wants to be seen with a girl that looks like THAT?? Who wants to MARRY her?!?! Right? Right. You should have learned that. Those filled with Gursikhi pyaar have stuck by your side. They valued you for who you were and seemed to see everything about you except the hairs on your face.

Without facial hair as an "obstacle", once you find a guy to marry, ask yourself if he would have married you had you kept your Sikhi/facial hair intact. If, without your facial hair, you now suddenly receive marriage proposals, what will it show you? It will show you the very opposite of Gursikhi pyaar. It will show you that you're the same person simply encased in a different shell, yet your value will seem to magically soar. You will be valued for your outer appearance and nothing more. Will you be proud of that? It would make me hang my head in shame more than my facial hair ever did.

With facial hair, you had a guaranteed method of being sure the Singh you married was a Singh not just by name, but by the very essence Guru Sahib must have envisioned. It takes a lot to look past appearances and to look deeper to value a person on the inside before devaluing them from the outside. It takes even more to MARRY such a person. It takes a Gursikh, and you would have known that the Singh you married while you had facial hair was a Singh of the finest class. 



If there is one Singh in a million who would gladly marry a Singhnee with facial hair, who says Guru Sahib wouldn't have worked it out for you? What is there that Guru Sahib can't give his Sikhs? If he can give a girl who removes her facial hair a good husband, as you probably expect he will, would he not have given a Singhnee who stays true to herself and to her Guru a good husband?

Regardless of what everyone says, the truth is, there are indeed very very few Singhs who would genuinely not mind marrying a girl with facial hair. None will openly state they would mind, but most would rather opt for the wife whose beauty everyone will praise rather than the one everyone will stare at and no one will call beautiful. The first thing anyone ever says about a new bride is that she is beautiful. Well, I'm certain no one will ever say that about me, but I don't mind. I would rather be called a Sikh than beautiful any day.



Bhain Jee, I ask you - with your facial hair removed, are you 100% happy with your appearance? I doubt it. I know girls who have removed their facial hair. They are still not satisfied. They are just as superficial and self-conscious as they were before. Without facial hair, they've simply found another "imperfection" to concentrate on. There's no end to the list of body parts one can mutilate and mould. Removal of facial hair is not the end of one's worries. It is just the end of one's Sikhi. 



Bhain Jee, it's not too late. Guru Sahib is great. He is bakshanhaar. Go before the Punj Pyaaray and they can easily turn things around for you.



Lastly, know that if something is meant to be, it'll be. Whether you're completely hairless, or whether you're covered in hair from head to toe, if something is meant to happen, nothing can stop Guru Sahib from making it happen. You would have gotten married if you were meant to, even with your facial hair. Believe it. Bhain Jee, have strength! Have courage! Have faith! Everything is in Guru Sahib's hands.

[Guest AKAAALLLLLLL]

My dear sister

you know you made a mistake.

you have done ardas

the main thing is you dont do it again. no matter how much hair you have. hair has a purpose on the body and grows for a reason, we need to respect and live in the form we were created. its only a manmukh thinking that hair is bad. hair serves the body in many ways so dont be ashamed of it.

dont live in regret, move on , work on your sikhi, nitnem and naam.

i personally think these ppl on this forum over react. i havent been in this situation but going to Gurdwara and infront of Maharaj ask for forgiviness and also ask Maharaj to always stop you from faltering.

you may go pesh if you like but , Amrit isnt broken, it is much more and beyond our little thinking. let go of this, move on

love and light

[Tera]

_AKAAALLLLLLL_ - beadbi of kesh is one of the bujjar kurreits. This means you have to go pesh in front of Panj Pyares... This is told to you during Amrit Sanchar.

[Guest mehtab1singh]

alot of dastarwali Singhnia do hair removal, bleaching and electrolysis, laser etc and don't care.

Thats a generalization and is not exactly true. Yes there are bad apples in every basket, doesn't mean all are bad.

i personally think these ppl on this forum over react. i havent been in this situation but going to Gurdwara and infront of Maharaj ask for forgiviness and also ask Maharaj to always stop you from faltering.

You are right. That is indeed your personal opinion as no one is over reacting. I apologize to you in advance, but please, just because you did something similar and chose to follow what you thought was right, instead of what is supposed to be done, doesn't mean someone else would want to do the same as well. Sorry again.

you may go pesh if you like but , Amrit isnt broken, it is much more and beyond our little thinking. let go of this, move on

What if someone had taken a sip of whisky or beer? 1 hair or 1 sip, whats done is done.

_AKAAALLLLLLL_ - beadbi of kesh is one of the bujjar kurreits. This means you have to go pesh in front of Panj Pyares... This is told to you during Amrit Sanchar.

End of story.

Sorry if I sounded harsh. May SatGuru Ji save and protect us all from doing any bajjar kurehit. May Guru Sahib give us death before defeat.

[Guest disgusting]

Fateh everyone,

Thank-you all for your wonderful suggestions.

I will obviously have to go pesh, but before that i will actually start with my broken foundation. without bani there is no bana. i've let my panj baniyan slip away once in a while, and this has affected me in so many ways. with Guru Sahibs kirpa will start reading more bani and keep saadh sangat as much as possible.

Thanks again!

Stay in Chardi Kala everyone!