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Ending My Life.


Guest Hopeless_Failure
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Guest Hopeless_Failure

I'm a member of these boards, but I feel like posting this anonymously right now. I'm a second year college student, my plans in high school were to attend a UC, however, I chose the route to go to City and transfer. This was the biggest mistake I ever made. I had a horrible GPA of 2.9 or 3.0 in high school with a few AP classes. I only passed my psych test, the rest I failed and got a B or C in the class. I don't even know how to type this or where to begin. To cut a long story short I could have got into a CSU school very easily in high school and now I don't even know if I can transfer to a UC or even a CSU.

I currently have a D in math and second level biology. I had my math final, i'm not sure how I did, I needed a C on it to get my grade up to a C. Right now, i should be studying for my biology final, but I got through it and still don't know how to proceed to studying. I'm quite confident I will end up with a D in biology right now.

To cut a long story short, my parents have expectations for me to transfer to a UC or at the very least a CSU and I don't even think I'd make the requirement to do so...I know how this may sound, but sometimes i feel the only way out is really just ending it all...

I don't know what to do, i feel depressed, hopeless, stupid, like a failure and i can go on forever...Due to this i've lost my connection to the Sikh life and even my family life...All my friends all went to UC's or CSU's and are fairing well, my family has an expectation that I become a doctor, and I want to as well. Throughout highschool and even more recently I have become demotivated from schoolwork and other less daunting tasks. Even since I was a kid i remember crying to myself whenever kids would receive their honor role ribbons and I would remain seated in the assembly embarrassed and left as a disappointment to my parents. I have never, and i repeat never impressed my parents in any regard. I want to, but I don't know what to do. I really want to get good grades and meet my goal, but I don't think I can do it anymore.

I really don't know what to do right now, suicide seems like the only option to get out of this misery and sense of failure. There are times i cry when no one is watching just because boys aren't supposed to cry. Right now i'm close to crying, but the only thing keeping me from crying is simply having to stay up and study for my finals.

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VahegurooJiKaKhalsaVahegurooJiKiFateh!! vaheguroo vaheguroo vaheguroo!!!(I want you to put your hands together and say that outloud and with pride)

please contact me either via personal message or on my hotmail (msn) which you can find if you click on my profile.

and listen to this. and be happy. Vaheguroo Ji is with you.

listen to as much keertan/simran/bani as you can, get your earphones and just blast it day and night, travelling,outside, home.

vaheguroo

ਗੁਰੁ ਮੇਰੈ ਸੰਗਿ ਸਦਾ ਹੈ ਨਾਲੇ ॥

Gur merai sang saḏā hai nāle.

My Guru is always with me, near at hand.

ਸਿਮਰਿ ਸਿਮਰਿ ਤਿਸੁ ਸਦਾ ਸਮ੍ਹ੍ਹਾਲੇ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

Simar simar ṯis saḏā samĥāle. ||1|| rahā▫o.

Meditating, meditating in remembrance on Him, I cherish Him forever. ||1||Pause||

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Guest SarabjeetSingh

You are exactly in my boat . I now regret and cry for the achievements I never made which were possible for me if I would have done some hardwork .

I failed in my last year of BSc and had previously failed in junior college board exams . I have gone through really terrible times . Sometimes , even a smile seems impossible .

Aukhi ghadi na dekhan dai , je apna birad samaley .

If you get the solution to your problems , please let me know as well . my email address khalsasarabjeet25@gmail.com

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Can i ask why you want to be a doctor ?

Is it for parents, money or respect.

I think you should go for education or career counselling.

This will greatly help in making the right decision.

Don't worry about failure, i was a P.H.D (passed high school with difficulty).

By grace of WAHEGURU, now people come to me for advice.

Check out

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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Don't cry when your elaborate plans don't come to fruition - remember whilst you were doing all your own planning, God had his own plan for you. Accept that, accept the journey.

Life was not mean to be some chronologically consistent, predictable ride for us. It has it's own revelations. There are lessons for us to learn from these.

Don't give up hope. Realise that not every thing is in your own hands but God's.

So you are not an academic genius. Big deal. You'll find most of us aren't.

Stay strong brother.

ਆਖਣਿ ਜੋਰੁ ਚੁਪੈ ਨਹ ਜੋਰੁ ॥

No power to speak, no power to keep silent.

ਜੋਰੁ ਨ ਮੰਗਣਿ ਦੇਣਿ ਨ ਜੋਰੁ ॥

No power to beg, no power to give.

ਜੋਰੁ ਨ ਜੀਵਣਿ ਮਰਣਿ ਨਹ ਜੋਰੁ ॥

No power to live, no power to die.

ਜੋਰੁ ਨ ਰਾਜਿ ਮਾਲਿ ਮਨਿ ਸੋਰੁ ॥

No power to rule, with wealth and occult mental powers.

ਜੋਰੁ ਨ ਸੁਰਤੀ ਗਿਆਨਿ ਵੀਚਾਰਿ ॥

No power to gain intuitive understanding, spiritual wisdom and meditation.

ਜੋਰੁ ਨ ਜੁਗਤੀ ਛੁਟੈ ਸੰਸਾਰੁ ॥

No power to find the way to escape from the world.

ਜਿਸੁ ਹਥਿ ਜੋਰੁ ਕਰਿ ਵੇਖੈ ਸੋਇ ॥

He alone has the Power in His Hands. He watches over all.

ਨਾਨਕ ਉਤਮੁ ਨੀਚੁ ਨ ਕੋਇ ॥੩੩॥

O Nanak, no one is high or low. ||33||

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You're not alone. You'd be surprised how many people feel like life isn't worth living. Others words will seem hollow at the moment - nothing anyone says will provide even a crumb of comfort to you. All I can say to you is step back from the situation and calm yourself. Take suicide out of the equation and think how you would practically deal with the problems you're facing. If you ever need to talk to someone who has experienced similar dark thoughts (for whatever reason) and is currently making his way out of "the tunnel" towards the light, then give me a PM if you want to. Just don't do anything rash.

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Hi there

I've tried to pass my degree for coming on to 6 yrs now and so far have only successfully completed 1 year. The first fail I cared, the second fail I cared but I never cared enough to give up on my life.

My family have gotten degrees and we were expected to perfom very highly.

My family have been threatening to kick me out for years, I've truly experienced rock bottom for 4 years running now when it comesto my education. I am a shame to my family and even my friends who see me as a loser.

But my spirits (and self esteem which is usually well above average) have overall remained at an ok level if not soaring. The reaosns for this are that the

-material world is an illusion

-noone should care too much about studies etc when people out there are dying of hunger/ famine/ war/ murder etc, we should be thanking god every single day for what we have

Whilst people who lack material comfort generally seek emotional support/ comfort and ultimately fail in that area, ie. friends and family cannot be with you all the time/ know how you;re feeling all the time and give you comfort, I have someone who does and whyo will wipe my tears and make me happy just at the sight of their face which I can see whenever I want and that's God.

So I don't give a monkeys <banned word filter activated> what people think of me or how little I've achieved because I love god and he loves me back fully and unconditionally. It is VERY REAL- more real to me than this wolrd (this world seems grey in comparison).

Also no matter how much I get/ have gotten in this life, nothing can compare to His love, I know that already and have experienced the same in my life.

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Guest United lieles

This salok is by Guru Tegh Bahaadur Ji in Salok Mehl 9 on Ang 1428

jqn bhuq suK ky kIey duK ko kIE n koie ]

jathan bahuth sukh kae keeeae dhukh ko keeou n koe ||

People make all sorts of efforts to find peace and pleasure, no one tries to earn pain.

khu nwnk suin ry mnw hir BwvY so hoie ]39]

kahu naanak sun rae manaa har bhaavai so hoe ||39||

Says Nanak, listen, mind: [you may do all you can do, but in the end,] whatever pleases God comes to pass. ||39||

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Let me give you some practical advice, it may sound ridiculous to you, but I think it has a good shot of working.

Seems to me that you are in this misery for 2 reasons:

- parents expectations of you

- your willingness to match their expectations combined with the fact you have been unable to do so

So, the plan goes something like this:

1. Rent the bollywood movie called '3 idiots'. I know that bollywood movies have a bad rep, but this is the only bollywood movie I have seen in over 10 years and I must say I LOVED IT! This movie so brilliantly portrays the condition of a large majority of students of Indian origin

2. Watch the movie your self first, you will likely cry. Don't hold back! Let it all out!!!

3. Watch the movie again but this time with your parents, as a family

3. Once the movie finishes, tell your parents in great detail of your own condition that their expectation has put you through.

I'm sure once you do this, they will understand. No parent wants their child to suffer, they are pushing you to become a doctor because they think (even though we know it's not true, my parents do this too) that having a good degree will give you respect (and money) and allow you to live in society with your head help up high. Also, it helps their 'societal status', especially when it comes to marriage. I'm not sure about India, but in western countries such as England, US, and Canada, one can easily make a decent living without having a fancy degree.

Now, go and implement the plan. I hope to see another update from you in the coming days to see how it went :)

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veerji umm well you should major in something different then maybe.. something that you are more into there are so many cool majors out there that aren't as boring as biology and math just get thru the general ed classes ... after that major in something you are more interested in i think you shouldnt bother with medical sciences. or w/e thats what most desis end up majoring in...

major in.. ummm.. international studies is another fun one.

:D i almost failed chem i dropped so many classes and finally taking art classes that i am more into :D

do what you love and love what you do

stop getting depressed over this its not worth it

you can always start over.. change ur major if sciences arent ur thing..

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