Is It Ok To Ask This To Possible Future Spouse?

[Guest still_free]

Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa! Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!

Is it ok to ask passible future wife, who claims to be amritdhari, if she keep ALL 5 Kakkar?

[Bundha]

From your question it looks like you do not fully believe your possible future wife that this is amritdhari.

If this is something that is bothering you then you must get it cleared before proceeding, but just try to be tactful.

Is she from India and you not?

[Matheen]

I understand where you're coming from. I've met 'Amritdharis' who don't do Nitnem let alone anything else. Parents sometimes hide the true facts as well.

Very hard to ask this question tactfully... think about it in advance, otherwise you could come across as arrogant or rude etc.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

If it's important then certainly ask or rather convey that you are only interested in an Amritdhari girl who keeps all 5 K's period !

In my opinion if you are concerned about hair removal then it's better to look for someone who already has some facial hair.

Coz 99% Amritdhari Bibi's are Bujjar Kurehati's i.e remove hair from body in one form or other.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Only five]

Vaheguroo Ji Ka Khalsa! Vaheguroo Ji Ki Fateh!

Is it ok to ask passible future wife, who claims to be amritdhari, if she keep ALL 5 Kakkar?

Instead of directly asking her, be more mellow and phrase it as a question. Start talking about the 5 Kakkar and how society is changing and how they still serve a purpose but its in the grey area. Don`t point fingers and say some are not keeping this kakkar or that kakkar, just dance around it and eventually, she will give her opinion on the kakkar she feels really strongly for and not touch on those that she does not keep because this may lead to her having to disclose if she keeps it or not. But thats when u ask more specific questions like what do you think about kirpan? Move slow and don't rush into discussion one kakkar too fast than the other ones. I say save keeping hair uncut as last kakkar discussed because the more you wait the more she will get anxious and feel uncomfortable or do something drastic to end the convo if she doesn't keep her hair uncut.

Just so no one get me wrong. All Kakkar are important and none of them are in the grey area.

[Guest still_free]

Thanks for your help Sangat Ji. It's a hard one, her parents came and gave sagan, but I hadn't even said yes. I'm worried that she hasn't kept kacchera Maryada, or Sri Sahib because she used to swim for her school.

[VanHelsingh]

Thanks for your help Sangat Ji. It's a hard one, her parents came and gave sagan, but I hadn't even said yes. I'm worried that she hasn't kept kacchera Maryada, or Sri Sahib because she used to swim for her school.

Sagan was given without your consent? Have your parents even asked you if you want to get married?

[Guest still_free]

Sagan was given without your consent? Have your parents even asked you if you want to get married?

No choice yaar.

[GuptMember]

No choice yaar.

proper arranged marriage!!!

[VanHelsingh]

No choice yaar.

Oh-hoh! Nothing wrong with that, of course, bhaji.

To be fair, your parents should have asked these questions on your behalf. If they know you're an amrtidhari, then surely they must also know that only someone with similar rehat is permitted. Speak up now or I promise you'll regret it later.

EDIT: On a related note, how is our faith supposed to produce MEN with strong minds and opinions, when parents are treating their sons like smothered little boys? That's not to say we should turn against our parents or defy them at every turn, but at a certain age a guy needs to have some say in the direction of his life.

Whilst I'm not a fan of "love" marriages, there has to be a middle ground - or at least present the guy with a chance to decide which girl would suit him best.

What a sorry state of affairs, and apologies to the brother if he feels I'm being harsh.