Parents Don'T Speak To Each Other

[Guest Lavpal]

Hi there

My parents are both amritdhari, in their late forties and cannot genuinely stand the sight of each other. To the outside world it seems like they are fine but in the home the tension, animosity and hate is indescribable.

Each is bad as the other: irrational, stubborn and full of hate. I really feel embarassed about the situation and am too emotional to raise this with them.

Can sangat advise? They should be at peace with themselves and one another due to their paath etc. but each has so much venom for the other.

[Guest keera]

Lavpal ji i totally feel your pain. Its very hurtful to see parents/close family members hating each other & its very unhealthy for all the family members as it affects everybody in the family. No matter what the reason is but if they dont get along at all then they should atleast care about their kids, it is just very unfair as kids usually suffer the most in clashes among parents. Anyway All I could tell you is Only Guru ji can help & bring peace in ur family. Do ardaas humbly & do paath for them, for peace, for sukh shaanti...Guru ji will definately make it better for you Je guru ji nu bhaunda!!

[D Kaur]

It's always difficult when family members are not talking, it's amplified ten fold when it's in your own immediate family.

How old are you? Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Are your Dada / Dadi Ji or Nana / Nani Ji around to talk too?

If it is effecting you i would have a talk with your Mum. She will appreciate your concern and may appreciate just sharing her feelings with someone. It may be an emotional chat, but atleast neither of you would have your feelings bottled up.

I have an 18 month old, and as a Mum, i can honestly say that if my actions were hurting my child i would want to know, and i would endeavour to change them.

I have a few other suggestions, but they would depend on how old you are.

[clarity]

What you need to do is sit down with each individually and ask about the core reason for the animosity. See what has occured to make them feel like this see if maybe one of them is feeling unfulfilled or not listened to and do an ardas at the gurdwara and I am sure 100% they will mend the relationship in time.

One very good way to make them bond is undertake a family holiday together that may help.

[11Gurus1Jot]

Lavpal, I heard a good one recently, and that was, " a family that prays together, stays together".

What about if you and your parents all sat in the same room and recited Japji Sahib da paath together, outloud? Or full nitnem, out loud?

You could try it in the morning and may be all plan to be nice to each on that day, as a start.

If they both have love for Guru Ji/Sikhi, then hopefully, that bond, will keep them together!:waheguru: