Sikh Girl In Love With Muslim Guy

[11Gurus1Jot]

Rumandeep, I don't really know what to say to you because if I tell you what I think is for you own good it will only seem like I am preaching to you.

But, what I will say is look at the facts.... how many people marry each other thinking they are in love and then get divorced? Or how many people live together and then split up? or how many people go out with each other and then split up?

Everybody, and you and I, know that the answer to the above is millions and millions. Remember - all of these millions of people think they are in love when they start their relationship, but in the end they all split up!!

However, these people all move on and get involved with another person, and then split up, and then get involved with another person, until they age and their looks fail them and then they become sad and lonely. Or, they accept the last one in the line!

The difference with your relationship is that if you split up you will NEVER be able to marry back into your religion and culture (no Sikh guy will be able to believe that his Muslim guy has not messed with your mind, leaving you to be, their, 'true Sikh' wife. So, therefore, that means you will have given up all you heritage for EVER if you marry this Muslim! Whether, you stay with this Muslim guy, or NOT!!

At the moment though, IT'S STILL NOT TO LATE!!!!!!!!! If you walk away from this guy NOW, you will be FREE and happy, forever!!!

I only say the above because, if you were a neice of mine, I would really worry about you being on your own with this guy.

Whatever you do, do not just run away with this guy! Have a Sikh wedding with your family there, like the others have said. If this guy is worth anything he will 'face the music' with you!! Not get you to run away!!

Isn't there an uncle say you can talk to, say like one of your Dad's brothers? Maybe an uncle or auntie who has shown care and concern for you in the past. It's probably best to pick a relative who is into Sikhi (you'd be surprised how understanding they will be!!!) You could just ring that uncle/auntie up and say, I have a problem, I am feeling a bit down, can I discuss something with you in confidence? You don't have to give him all the info straight away. You could just test the water first by saying things like, I'm having trouble studying, or maybe you could just say your friends want you to go to a club etc etc. If he goes mad, or is not that bothered, then maybe that is not person. There's always one good relative who can help, if you can't talk to your parents.

Whatever you do, don't run away. Have a go at talking to somebody first!! I promise you, you will not regret talking to someone who cares about you, before you run away with this guy, who has, made you, keep this secret from all your friends and family to date!!!

Please remember - Siri Guru Granth Sahib Ji loves everybody! You do not need permission from anyone in this world to pray to Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji Maharaaj (not even the permission of this Muslim Guy). Go to the Gurdwara on your own. It can be when the Gurdwara is empty. You know, about 3pm ish on a Saturday afternoon!! Nanaksar Taath Gurdware always have Guru Ji in the Darbar, so you can pray whenever the doors are open, which is all day till about 11pm. Go and pray infront of Guru Ji and just sit in silence and see what happens. Put you problems to Guru Ji from your mind, in English or Punjabi - you will get the answers - or you will be sent a Sikh to help you... may be, that relative???

[Kharkooartsy]

I dont feel sorry for you, nor would waste time typing anything more, as to be honest i see you as a disgrace. I just hope you don't wear a Kara and rep Kaur in your name. Only persons I feel sorry for is you family, and maybe the Sikh brother who might end up with you one day, not knowing the truth. anyways..

The Khalsa will rule.. The beautiful lions and princesses of the Guru will shine. The sl*gs and Sell-outs will be Crushed!

dont make her feel bad about herself she is a sister, she is a kaur and she is asking for an advice. we all fall for kaam, krodh... and other 3 vices.. that doesnt change the fact that we are sikh we are all learning and maybe you need to stop putting people down because its not helping them its crushing their self confidence.

the only advice i have is... we all are weak at some point in our life. i have been through stuff.. so many times in my life i thought i was in love lol but iwasnt its just the age... !! i am glad i didnt do anything serious back then now it all seems like a joke and back then it was my whole life....

many people are hating on muslims saying you shouldnt do anything because that will give your family a bad name.. all i think is... concentrate more on sikhi.....we are not perfect we all have flaws.. but guru ji will forgive you..he is soo forgiving.. i have done so many bad things in life and i feel weak sometimes.. but guruji picks me back up.. to guru ji no one is filthy.....

in sikhi true marriage is when two souls work towards the higher being.. vaheguroojeee.. sikhi is soo beautiful... everytime i feel weak i think of our shaheeds that gave up their kids, their lovely wives, their parents who they loved. so many examples we have before us..

we need to learn from them and get rid of the whole attatchment that we call love...

it may not be kaam it maybe attatchement that leads to kaam.. the best thing is to spend as much time listening to kathas..go to gurudwara..

dont bother about people that only put you down....find gursikh sangat and you will get rid of ur attatchment.. know that you are a kaur be like bibi upkar kaur http://www.sikhiwiki...Bibi_Upkar_Kaur who gave shaheedi in 84..

so many things going on in panth ... this panth needs true kaurs like bibi upkar kaur... and you are worthy of being one of the sinhgnias that fought for honor of sikhi.... they are rare... be rare!! dont be one of those that girls that fall for attatchment and kaam.. dont be weak.. be strong be a role model bhene

you want your kids to be like baba deep singh ji.... sukha..jinda... bibi upkaar kaur and i am sure that wont happen by marrying a musla.. or someone who doesnt care about sikhi!! know who you are!! go to india.. learn about sikhi.. everytime i feel down i listen to these... http://sikhroots.com...gh_%28London%29 hopefully these lectures will help

vaheguroojeekakhalsavaheguroojeeekeefateh

[Kharkooartsy]

listen to this

[Guest Raman56]

I really can't believe how many people have commented and given me the advise and facts I knew deep down but never wanted to face. I've been doing my path as many times I can every day for the last three days, I know that's not really much but I really want to do it everyday from now on. I never really used to before. I told him everything, I couldn't do it to my family or my religion and getting into this was a mistake on my part. It was difficult and at first I really kept thinking 'it will be ok, we can be friends' but obv that wasn't ever going to work. I needed courage to do this and I really believe god listened to my ardas, I have moments where I do feel sad because I was very comfortable with that person but I just do my path or start to occupy myself with something. I don't think I would have done this if it wasn't for some people who commented and even posted gurbani that I read and cried straight away but only because it kinda woke me up and face reality if that makes sense. I hope god gives me the strength to stay this way and never make such a mistake again. I know I am a good person and even though many on this forum will still disagree but I still think he's a good person too because he let me go, when we spoke and I made one of the hardest decisions I've made he didn't fight back or try to force me to stay with him and I'll always thank him for that. Im just overwhelmed with everything right now, I feel like vaheguroo helped me and listened to my prayers yet before this I hardly ever prayed or did anything related to sikhi, I feel bad because vaheguroo has helped me I just feel so different like everything in my life has changed and all this boyfriend going out cr*p doesn't matter, nothing matters no more. I don't know whether im coming across abit crazy right now but it's hard to explain with words, all I know is that when I started doing my path thanks to the advise you all gave I just felt stronger and faced him, told him what I needed to have said a long time ago

[Singh559]

I'm happy for you, once you've stepped on the path you will only find eternal bliss. Guru Ji's house is amazing, you take one step towards the Guru with a little sharda and Guru Ji comes and takes infinity towards you and takes care of you.

If you can understand punjabi please have a listen to this amazing and inspirational katha.

mehalaa 1 ||

First Mehla:

jo tho praem khaelan kaa chaao ||

If you desire to play this game of love with Me,

sir dhhar thalee galee maeree aao ||

then step onto My Path with your head in hand.

eith maarag pair dhhareejai ||

When you place your feet on this Path,

sir dheejai kaan n keejai ||20||

give Me your head, and do not pay any attention to public opinion. ||20||

[Guest Learner]

BOLAY SO NIHAAAL SAT SRI AKAAAl !!!!!

Very proud if u Penji!

U did good coming forward and discussing your problem and taking the right step.

Saad Sangat in future please be careful as to how you treat this situation. Som opinions were a bit harsh.

Rather than turning a blind eye and being ignorant which Penji could gave done, she didn't. She came for help. Had we all Said harsh negative things Penji would have taken the wrong step. So benti pls, try to b understanding before jumping the gun.

[dalsingh101]

Saad Sangat in future please be careful as to how you treat this situation. Som opinions were a bit harsh.

Don't know about that.

If anything, the blunt, direct approach seems to have woken her up to what she was doing.

[Guest Learner]

I see where you'r coming from. Bt b honest it's easy to think like that now because of the outcome. Most females wudnt hav taken that lightly.

For example some of the words used such as 'slag', how is that helping? When usin labels like that most females wud think, 'well seeing as I'm already being categorised and everyone has a fixed judgement I may as well carry on as I am, seeing as everyone has made their mind up'.

Yes harsh is good sometimes. Bt this Penji came seeking advice on the net and some of the advice came across very cold and she may hav nt com back for advice. It's nt like we know this person. Very few posts were cold and harsh enough to make some people in that same situation think differently about sikhism and Sikhs.

Everyone makes mistakes we all have. God knows mistakes we made in our past lives. Be careful not yo judge and to make such harsh comments. Nt everybody the upbringing we have and not everybody is thick skined as some are.

Most women are nt so resilient and very sensitive. The majority of of apnay females are vulnerable which is why thus happens in the first case. The minute u start using derogatory words such as 'slag' and what, it's no wonder

why apnay because they feel 'accepted'.

Yes harsh us good sometimes, bt this Penji has come seekin advice on the net. Som of the posts dud come across very

[Guest Raman56]

Not really Dalsingh101. It was the gurbani posted on here and the video link to a really beautiful shabad I heard that got me into doing my path and I'm trying to learn punjabi also so I can read more gurbani. Your posts were mainly the only ones I ignored because I didn't appreciate your snide comments like 'I wonder why Sikhs families don't want girls'. You didn't help at all so keep your so called blunt direct approach to yourself, didn't make any difference with me as others already pointed out.

[dalsingh101]

Not really Dalsingh101. It was the gurbani posted on here and the video link to a really beautiful shabad I heard that got me into doing my path and I'm trying to learn punjabi also so I can read more gurbani. Your posts were mainly the only ones I ignored because I didn't appreciate your snide comments like 'I wonder why Sikhs families don't want girls'. You didn't help at all so keep your so called blunt direct approach to yourself, didn't make any difference with me as others already pointed out.

Well to be honest I'm not too bothered because I find the actions of girls who do the kind of thing you did, more offensive than any verbal insult I could face. Even if your ex-bf isn't the type, I'm sure plenty of his mates/co-religionists would be gloating at yet another Sikh girl they have been able to take advantage of. I've got sympathy for the Sikh guys I've known who've been to prison or faced violence over Muslim guys insulting our quom over girls like these.

If anything, you should maybe analyse how you got in that position and help find methods for the wider community to stop others going down the same route.

I'm glad you saw straight in the end anyway.