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guptkuri

Wake Up, Boys!

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I am sick and tired of boys blaming girls all the time for the sick state of our religion. The constant whining that about why girls don't date/marry sikhs has to end. First of all get off your high horses and realize that both girls and boys are at fault, then think about what you can do to fix this problem starting at your own homes.

Here is my suggestion to all sikhs. If you have any amritdhari women in your families encourage them to wear dastars. That alone will solve many problems:

1. Girls that wear dastars are less likely to be teased and pressured to date. In case they were our Sikh brothers are more likely to stick up for them because they know its a good sikh girl.

2. a girl wearing dastar will understand what a boy wearing a dastar goes through and will have nothing against dastar wearing boys and will appreciate them more.

3. Dastar wearing girl always marries dastar wearing boy

4. Dastar wearing girl will think 100 times before doing something bad because she knows everyone will know she is a sikh and she is more likely to be called out on it.

5. Dastar wearing girl well be more into sikhi and well raise her kids to be more into sikhi.

So many problems solved with just a simple encouragement to wear a dastar instead of belittling them. One recommendation is that you first talk to your own sister and mothers and daughters before you go around and telling random sikhi bibiyan to wear dastars. Change begins at home.

Another thing we all need to work on is, if we have young boys in our families that keep their khesh, is to teach them how to care for their khesh early on. That means teaching them to do jorha on their own when they start school and teach them to tie dastar by the time they hit middle school. They will be more confident about their khesh and less like to cut them. The more comfortable they are with their sikh appearance, they more like they are to work hard to be good sikhs.

Last but not least, get involved in Sikh activities. If we all and our families get involved in sikhi related events, their will be more demand for them and they will get better every year. That in turn will attract more youth and we will be able to get more done. Nothing gets done by complaining behind the computer screen. So quit your whining and do something.

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Wearing or not wearing dastaar does not solve the problems of today. Not wanting to wear a dastaar is a problem in itself but not panth destroying.

I don't think is fair to pressure girls into wearing dastaara as they have a whole load to deal with facial hair issues etc. And the idea you have that sikh girls with dastaar are good girls is laughable.

Some wear a dastaar to be noticed, or it makes them look better not because of Maryada.

The issues between girls and boys I do not know about, maybe because I don't interact with singnia at all, don't need to, therefore no problems arise.

Maybe the sikh girls you are on about are the ones who are not keshdhari and are your regular indian punjabi girl who dates and gets into this mess which then makes the sikh panth look bad as she is from a sikh background but not actuallly practicing.

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it is unfair to say that girls only are to blame. its not just girls but boys as well, and parents and society and relligous and political leaders are who to blame for the current state of the panth.

blaming one gender or part of society is way too easy.

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Wearing or not wearing dastaar does not solve the problems of today. Not wanting to wear a dastaar is a problem in itself but not panth destroying.

I don't think is fair to pressure girls into wearing dastaara as they have a whole load to deal with facial hair issues etc. And the idea you have that sikh girls with dastaar are good girls is laughable.

Some wear a dastaar to be noticed, or it makes them look better not because of Maryada.

The issues between girls and boys I do not know about, maybe because I don't interact with singnia at all, don't need to, therefore no problems arise.

Maybe the sikh girls you are on about are the ones who are not keshdhari and are your regular indian punjabi girl who dates and gets into this mess which then makes the sikh panth look bad as she is from a sikh background but not actuallly practicing.

Veer ji, I made this topic because I got tired of new topics creeping up every other month blaming girls for the state of our panth. And because I truly believe that wearing a dastar makes a different. As a sikh girl that wore a dastar, I noticed all those difference around me that I listed in my original post. I was more attached to Sikhi and thought 20 times before I did anything because I didn't want it to reflect badly on Sikhi. My parents took amrit. Life as a whole is a lot better and more closer to sikhi atleast for me.

Also I have yet to meet a Sikh dastar wearing girl that just wears it for fashion statement or just to be noticed. That is more of a case with boys. For girls since it is not a norm for us to wear dastars, it holds a lot more value for us.

Baki, I am sorry if this topic hurt anyone's feelings.

it is unfair to say that girls only are to blame. its not just girls but boys as well, and parents and society and relligous and political leaders are who to blame for the current state of the panth.

blaming one gender or part of society is way too easy.

It is too easy but go search this site, go search facebook. Girls are blamed left and right.

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Boys wearing a dastaar isn't optional it's mandatory, whereas girls have a choice, they might decide a turban dont suit me so a patka is fine, not all girls obviously but some. But this topic is going somewhere I'm just replying to your dastaar pat of it, yea it might be the case where you think twicebefore you doing any wrong but it doesn't mean they're singnia out there who think the same as you. I personally had to go to a singnia house to complain that our sehajdhari brothers are moaning of a singni chilling with the wrong kind getting in cars etc etc so I know why girls will get mist of the blame but it's the girls who hold alot more izzat of our panth. I mean how bout that girl (amritdhari)that supposedly nearly converted to islam, how bad is that it sent shockeaves through the whole world but if you catch an amritdhari boy who commits a kurehit it's not something that gonna shock you even though it might hurt initially.

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Boys blames the Girls, this is pretty well established. However, Girls blame boys too, I have personally seen this happen. It's always easy to blame other rather than take responsibility for your own actions.

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Why are rules different for girls and boys? In sikhi we are all created equal aren't we? Shouldn't we hold girls up to the same standards as boys? Because we dastar is optional for girls, today we are in such a state that amritdhari women have begun thinking that covering their head is also optional. Whats next?

We all agree that girls are our izzat, then we need to raise them stronger and braver and more educated. That is why I am a firm believer that everyone should quit complaining on the internet and start working with their families and local Gurudwaras to raise better Sikhs. I am not saying pressure anyone but to make Sikhi more inviting by having more dicussions and sikhi related events, where people want to get involved and then inspire them to be better sikhs.

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If we all actually followed gurbani 100% and were clean and pure inside, we would all understand the hukam god is giving us every second and noone would be stressing about marriage!

lol, God willing one day we would all put the gyan into practice 100% fearlessly without procrastinating and thinking now's not a convenient time- death could be seconds away for any one of us.

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I have yet to meet a Sikh dastar wearing girl that just wears it for fashion statement or just to be noticed.
Then give yourself some more time before you actually see/meet one.

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^ Totally agree with that. I have seen many many girls wear a pugh for the wrong reasons. guptkuri, you are still young and will surely see many things in life :) So will I of course, I'm not a budha lol

Have seen many guys as well but that has been happening for many decades and hardly a surprise now.

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waheguruu

so now im realllyy hurt, singhniya wear dastar just for a show?

im sorry maybe i havent met any yet, imm singhni myself , i still adorn dastar not because for a show, maybe if it is then it is because it's my crown, my pyare guruji has blessed me with it, i dont understand, therefore im thinkin singhs these days judge singhniya who wear dastar, thinking dey only wwear it as a show?

saareh kyon ehne valeya, i dont understand y are there now seperate rules for singhniya? i thot sikhi was not abt gender, y is it that the crown can only be worn by singhs, but aint we princesses too?

bhul bhuk maff if i said anything wrong

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plus who shud we blame, we ain't perfect , this is kaljug, from 100% there will only be few percent that are connected with waheguru, we are all going as our karam are, only guru ji knoow. We are no one to judge whos in what stage, never know when we will be in that stage. About encouraging others to wear dastar, sachii when they begin to fall in love with waheguru and they will automatically search ways too make waheguru be please with them, just like a wife who adorn her self for her husband and so will we dress the way waheguru wants us? but the probz is its not easy fallin in love with waheguru cause moorak like me all are stuck in duality, its not a best decision to force anyone to wear dastar, if they wanted it they would have worn it anyway, i dont know if i have went off topic all im saying is dont say singhniya wear dastar for show or attention seeking, atleast they are wearing, there are some who dont even bother to follow sikhi in anyway. if they are wearing dastar that means they have some what taken step to sikhi

bhul chuf maff again

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In my opinion and I am probably wrong but dastar wearing youth is more likely to think about sikhi twice before they do something wrong, then those that don't wear a dastar. Because every time they look in the mirror they will be reminded they are a Sikh. I am not saying to try to force it on anyone but I don't think their is nothing wrong with encouraging youth to wear dastars regardless of male or female, starting with our own families.

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I think sikhi guidelines are for both genders and i strongly feel that bibian should wear keski but that is only my personal opinion. I am married to a keski wearing singhni and i most likely be with her even if she wasn't a keski wearing singhni back in days. Keski is another plus on top of the sikhi and social qualities she has.

Just like there are bad apples in every society, there are in fact hundreds of keski wearing bibian who are in fact of bad character (there are many close examples of people that i know personally). Do not let nicely tied keski wearing bibian impress you that they are true khalsa. Outlook is very deceiving. However, this is not the case of every keski singhnia.

Sikhi, sharda and simplicity is important and we should focus on them along with other important stuff such as keski/rehat and so on BUT focus on em equally. I have seen people focusing on keski part more than other stuff and make quick judgements which is absolutely wrong.

Above is totally my own personal viewpoint...

dastar wearing youth is more likely to think about sikhi twice before they do something wrong

That is very true... Practically, It happened to me many times in my life.

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