Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I am sick and tired of boys blaming girls all the time for the sick state of our religion. The constant whining that about why girls don't date/marry sikhs has to end. First of all get off your high horses and realize that both girls and boys are at fault, then think about what you can do to fix this problem starting at your own homes.

Here is my suggestion to all sikhs. If you have any amritdhari women in your families encourage them to wear dastars. That alone will solve many problems:

1. Girls that wear dastars are less likely to be teased and pressured to date. In case they were our Sikh brothers are more likely to stick up for them because they know its a good sikh girl.

2. a girl wearing dastar will understand what a boy wearing a dastar goes through and will have nothing against dastar wearing boys and will appreciate them more.

3. Dastar wearing girl always marries dastar wearing boy

4. Dastar wearing girl will think 100 times before doing something bad because she knows everyone will know she is a sikh and she is more likely to be called out on it.

5. Dastar wearing girl well be more into sikhi and well raise her kids to be more into sikhi.

So many problems solved with just a simple encouragement to wear a dastar instead of belittling them. One recommendation is that you first talk to your own sister and mothers and daughters before you go around and telling random sikhi bibiyan to wear dastars. Change begins at home.

Another thing we all need to work on is, if we have young boys in our families that keep their khesh, is to teach them how to care for their khesh early on. That means teaching them to do jorha on their own when they start school and teach them to tie dastar by the time they hit middle school. They will be more confident about their khesh and less like to cut them. The more comfortable they are with their sikh appearance, they more like they are to work hard to be good sikhs.

Last but not least, get involved in Sikh activities. If we all and our families get involved in sikhi related events, their will be more demand for them and they will get better every year. That in turn will attract more youth and we will be able to get more done. Nothing gets done by complaining behind the computer screen. So quit your whining and do something.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Wearing or not wearing dastaar does not solve the problems of today. Not wanting to wear a dastaar is a problem in itself but not panth destroying.

I don't think is fair to pressure girls into wearing dastaara as they have a whole load to deal with facial hair issues etc. And the idea you have that sikh girls with dastaar are good girls is laughable.

Some wear a dastaar to be noticed, or it makes them look better not because of Maryada.

The issues between girls and boys I do not know about, maybe because I don't interact with singnia at all, don't need to, therefore no problems arise.

Maybe the sikh girls you are on about are the ones who are not keshdhari and are your regular indian punjabi girl who dates and gets into this mess which then makes the sikh panth look bad as she is from a sikh background but not actuallly practicing.

Link to post
Share on other sites

it is unfair to say that girls only are to blame. its not just girls but boys as well, and parents and society and relligous and political leaders are who to blame for the current state of the panth.

blaming one gender or part of society is way too easy.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wearing or not wearing dastaar does not solve the problems of today. Not wanting to wear a dastaar is a problem in itself but not panth destroying.

I don't think is fair to pressure girls into wearing dastaara as they have a whole load to deal with facial hair issues etc. And the idea you have that sikh girls with dastaar are good girls is laughable.

Some wear a dastaar to be noticed, or it makes them look better not because of Maryada.

The issues between girls and boys I do not know about, maybe because I don't interact with singnia at all, don't need to, therefore no problems arise.

Maybe the sikh girls you are on about are the ones who are not keshdhari and are your regular indian punjabi girl who dates and gets into this mess which then makes the sikh panth look bad as she is from a sikh background but not actuallly practicing.

Veer ji, I made this topic because I got tired of new topics creeping up every other month blaming girls for the state of our panth. And because I truly believe that wearing a dastar makes a different. As a sikh girl that wore a dastar, I noticed all those difference around me that I listed in my original post. I was more attached to Sikhi and thought 20 times before I did anything because I didn't want it to reflect badly on Sikhi. My parents took amrit. Life as a whole is a lot better and more closer to sikhi atleast for me.

Also I have yet to meet a Sikh dastar wearing girl that just wears it for fashion statement or just to be noticed. That is more of a case with boys. For girls since it is not a norm for us to wear dastars, it holds a lot more value for us.

Baki, I am sorry if this topic hurt anyone's feelings.

it is unfair to say that girls only are to blame. its not just girls but boys as well, and parents and society and relligous and political leaders are who to blame for the current state of the panth.

blaming one gender or part of society is way too easy.

It is too easy but go search this site, go search facebook. Girls are blamed left and right.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Boys wearing a dastaar isn't optional it's mandatory, whereas girls have a choice, they might decide a turban dont suit me so a patka is fine, not all girls obviously but some. But this topic is going somewhere I'm just replying to your dastaar pat of it, yea it might be the case where you think twicebefore you doing any wrong but it doesn't mean they're singnia out there who think the same as you. I personally had to go to a singnia house to complain that our sehajdhari brothers are moaning of a singni chilling with the wrong kind getting in cars etc etc so I know why girls will get mist of the blame but it's the girls who hold alot more izzat of our panth. I mean how bout that girl (amritdhari)that supposedly nearly converted to islam, how bad is that it sent shockeaves through the whole world but if you catch an amritdhari boy who commits a kurehit it's not something that gonna shock you even though it might hurt initially.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Boys blames the Girls, this is pretty well established. However, Girls blame boys too, I have personally seen this happen. It's always easy to blame other rather than take responsibility for your own actions.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Why are rules different for girls and boys? In sikhi we are all created equal aren't we? Shouldn't we hold girls up to the same standards as boys? Because we dastar is optional for girls, today we are in such a state that amritdhari women have begun thinking that covering their head is also optional. Whats next?

We all agree that girls are our izzat, then we need to raise them stronger and braver and more educated. That is why I am a firm believer that everyone should quit complaining on the internet and start working with their families and local Gurudwaras to raise better Sikhs. I am not saying pressure anyone but to make Sikhi more inviting by having more dicussions and sikhi related events, where people want to get involved and then inspire them to be better sikhs.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If we all actually followed gurbani 100% and were clean and pure inside, we would all understand the hukam god is giving us every second and noone would be stressing about marriage!

lol, God willing one day we would all put the gyan into practice 100% fearlessly without procrastinating and thinking now's not a convenient time- death could be seconds away for any one of us.

Link to post
Share on other sites

^ Totally agree with that. I have seen many many girls wear a pugh for the wrong reasons. guptkuri, you are still young and will surely see many things in life :) So will I of course, I'm not a budha lol

Have seen many guys as well but that has been happening for many decades and hardly a surprise now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

waheguruu

so now im realllyy hurt, singhniya wear dastar just for a show?

im sorry maybe i havent met any yet, imm singhni myself , i still adorn dastar not because for a show, maybe if it is then it is because it's my crown, my pyare guruji has blessed me with it, i dont understand, therefore im thinkin singhs these days judge singhniya who wear dastar, thinking dey only wwear it as a show?

saareh kyon ehne valeya, i dont understand y are there now seperate rules for singhniya? i thot sikhi was not abt gender, y is it that the crown can only be worn by singhs, but aint we princesses too?

bhul bhuk maff if i said anything wrong

Link to post
Share on other sites

plus who shud we blame, we ain't perfect , this is kaljug, from 100% there will only be few percent that are connected with waheguru, we are all going as our karam are, only guru ji knoow. We are no one to judge whos in what stage, never know when we will be in that stage. About encouraging others to wear dastar, sachii when they begin to fall in love with waheguru and they will automatically search ways too make waheguru be please with them, just like a wife who adorn her self for her husband and so will we dress the way waheguru wants us? but the probz is its not easy fallin in love with waheguru cause moorak like me all are stuck in duality, its not a best decision to force anyone to wear dastar, if they wanted it they would have worn it anyway, i dont know if i have went off topic all im saying is dont say singhniya wear dastar for show or attention seeking, atleast they are wearing, there are some who dont even bother to follow sikhi in anyway. if they are wearing dastar that means they have some what taken step to sikhi

bhul chuf maff again

Link to post
Share on other sites

In my opinion and I am probably wrong but dastar wearing youth is more likely to think about sikhi twice before they do something wrong, then those that don't wear a dastar. Because every time they look in the mirror they will be reminded they are a Sikh. I am not saying to try to force it on anyone but I don't think their is nothing wrong with encouraging youth to wear dastars regardless of male or female, starting with our own families.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think sikhi guidelines are for both genders and i strongly feel that bibian should wear keski but that is only my personal opinion. I am married to a keski wearing singhni and i most likely be with her even if she wasn't a keski wearing singhni back in days. Keski is another plus on top of the sikhi and social qualities she has.

Just like there are bad apples in every society, there are in fact hundreds of keski wearing bibian who are in fact of bad character (there are many close examples of people that i know personally). Do not let nicely tied keski wearing bibian impress you that they are true khalsa. Outlook is very deceiving. However, this is not the case of every keski singhnia.

Sikhi, sharda and simplicity is important and we should focus on them along with other important stuff such as keski/rehat and so on BUT focus on em equally. I have seen people focusing on keski part more than other stuff and make quick judgements which is absolutely wrong.

Above is totally my own personal viewpoint...

dastar wearing youth is more likely to think about sikhi twice before they do something wrong

That is very true... Practically, It happened to me many times in my life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Local authorities aren't eager to adopt private roads anymore, so all the residents will be liable for any costs in maintaining the road. New builds aren't really a great buy as they are overpriced and many companies are just cutting corners with shoddy workmanship. Personally I would never buy a new build. It is better to buy an older property after getting a full survey done and if there are issues highlighted in the survey such as leaky roof etc, you can negotiate a reduction with the seller. The older properties have been around for over 100 years while I bet some of the new builds will not last 50 years before they need major repairs and or/ demolition.  Although if the house is an investment and you have worked out all your numbers and want to sell after a few years or rent it out then I suppose this could be a good deal. As they say, make sure you do your due diligence. 
    • Punjab's GDP was $70 billion in 2020. If we take the example of UK Sikhs, I would estimate that each UK Sikh if they were to liquidate their property, their investments and their goods, each one would be worth about £100,000, that's taking account of the fact that many families who have been established here for more than 50 years are worth over a £1 million while the recent arrivals might only be worth a few thousand pounds, As the census showed, Sikhs have a higher level of property ownership (over 80%) then even the white population. In the UK property have grown hugely over the years. Taking the average of £100,000 then UK Sikhs have to potential to pump in $70 billion into Punjab about the same as the GDP. If the average of the UK is taken for the whole of the diaspora then this would mean the diaspora could potentially pump in $280 billion into Punjab in one go, four times the current GDP of Punjab if the diaspora were to return to Punjab. 
    • It depends on what the political geography is when they go back. If Punjab is independent then the influx of cash rich migrants back to their homeland will certainly be a big asset for Punjab. Given that a good number of the youth will be professionals like doctors, dentists, IT experts, accountants, lawyers etc this will mean that Punjab has the potential to become a IT hub as well as provide good quality healthcare for the population. Possibly even the creation of a national health service (NHS )in Punjab. With Punjab being independent, then the freedoms with which these diaspora Sikhs enjoyed aboard will have greater support and possibly stop any move towards authoritarianism in Punjab.  The diaspora is probably 2 million in number, so moving back they will create a strong demographic bloc which will need to be catered to by the politicians. Also they are more likely to vote in elections as well as take part in civic society than the native Punjabis. The only negative for the diaspora is that they also have major divisions such as being almost equally divided between British, Americans and Canadians. Add to these the smaller numbers of German, Italian, Malaysian, Singaporean, Myanmar and Australia/NZ and other Sikhs. These differences will be use by politicians to stop the diaspora becoming a strong voting bloc.  Certainly, the Punjab economy would see higher growth and the links that the diaspora has as well as their language skills will be a great asset for Punjabi companies wanting to trade with the west as well as with SE Asia and Japan. The Sikh diaspora from the middle east from places like Dubai, Kuwait, UAE and Qatar will also allow for Punjab to trade with these countries. Given that every jana khana diaspora Sikh is into IT, then Punjab would see a flurry of IT start ups and as with Israel you could see many Punjabi start up IPOs in the Nasdaq after a few years. You will also see greater mechanisation of agriculture and the move to stop the environmental damage being done to Punjab.  Along with all the economic advantage for Punjab the Punjab will also become a more interesting place, the Punjabi language will also undergo some change and probably new dialects of Punjabi being spoken in areas where a majority of the diaspora Sikhs have settled. Words from German, French, Malay, Italian will find their way into Punjabi. Also I think the 'Indian' accent of Punjabis will also change which in itself is worth separating Punjab for India just for that. Punjabis will start talking much more slowly because the young kids of the diaspora will never be able to understand the fast talking native Punjabis.  All in all it would make Punjab a much more interesting place and bring back the vibrancy for with Punjab was renowned in previous decades.   
    • United Sikhs latest great idea! helping Afghan Muslim students in India, while Afghan Sikhs are being forced out or threated with conversion to the death cult! You could not stoop lower than these FUD&US!   (1) UNITED SIKHS on Twitter: "The #Afghani #students in india  need your #help . As the Afghani students lost their world in the chaos, their parents are #struggling to stand back on their feet and help #educate their children in India. #Volunteer & #Donate us at : https://t.co/jUBaMvGlTq https://t.co/i6NaLuxuwq" / Twitter  
    • KA and United Sikhs have tried lately to defend their idiocy by showing how they are also helping Sikhs by posting some pictures and videos online. I think even they know now that Ravi Singh attempt to act like some Gurdwara Pardhan and block anyone critical of him is now not working. Either they change their actions or they will lose what support they have among Sikhs.  My hope is that Sikh and Punjab focussed charities like YourSeva and Sikh Relief overtake their two liberal charities. They harm these two have done far outweighs what little good they have done for Sikhs. 
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use