Big Mistake

[TejiKaur]

truth sets free- you cant live a lie, own up, the child is innocent and must be raised the wife has to tell her husband what happens, if he leaves her he leaves her if he sticks he sticks, stop being selfish n put the baby first, the only way to pay for our sins is remorse and thn owning up, once the truth is out ull feel lighter

[singher23]

agree 100% if i found out my partner had cheated on me, i would batter her as punishment, possibly chop a finger off (maybe the finger with the wedding ring on), and definitly divorce, never EVER give another chance to a cheat!! marriage is about trust, anyone who abuses that trust, should be dealt with, end of.

Cutting off the finger is a bit extreme isn't it?

[NamoSarab]

Cutting off the finger is a bit extreme isn't it?

If she was truly sorry for her actions, she would accept ANY punishment for commiting such a crime. She'd be lucky she'd be able to keep 90% of her fingers! KopSingh is being compassionate here I feel!

But seriously, divorce, even in Sikhi, exists as a "back door". As someone mentioned earlier, if a wife has been raped by her husband or abused in other ways, then as far as I know, there is no Maryadha that prohibits divorce. This is a bit different in the sense that no ones life or safety is in danger (theoretically) so it's debatable.

HOWEVER people, abortion in this case is not debatable. Don't even think about it. This girls life, nor the life of her child, is not in danger. There is no exceptional circumstance in the case of abortion. The husband has a case for divorce, he is the innocent party in this. But the cheating kanjaree and the guy she slept with have no case for abortion.

To the original poster : I applaud you for doing the right thing. You told your parents. Now FIGHT to keep that child. It's easy for you to sit back and do nothing if she wants an abortion. But if you don't try to save that child, then you will regret it in the future, one way or the other. Karma will bite you and bite you hard. One thing about karma is that it is NOT a religious thing - it's a natural thing. The world seems to have this natural energy which gives people their dues eventually.

[Guest KopSingh]

Cutting off the finger is a bit extreme isn't it?

LOL i dont reckon its extreme, TBH i've been described as a saidist, so maybe i've not gone far enough.

oh ok, just chop her hand off instead then

[singher23]

I have a feeling you were joking both times. Can't tell over the internet

[Guest KopSingh]

I have a feeling you were joking both times. Can't tell over the internet

na but i do feel something like cheating on a partner is more than a mistake, its not exactly a momentary thing that happens on the spot, it happens coz someone want it 2 happen, if that makes sense.

EG - some1 throwin cigarette in harmandar sahib sarovar, was done with thought, not by accident.

so yea i do think ppl shud b punished for these types of acts, adultery etc

anyways all the best to the original poster.

[Only five]

Sangat forum members

I need your help regarding a matter of urgency, My age is 23 and I live in UK, a small town on the outskirts of London. About 6 months ago, I was dating a girl from my local Gurdwara. We had been dating for about 3 months when we decided take our relationship to a physical level. We decided to sleep together and the whole occasion ended very badly. Our relationship also didn’t last very long after that and we finished, but the problem came just last week when she told me she is pregnant. I was shocked by the news but decided to do the right thing and asked her to marry me. What came next was a complete shock to me, she told she cannot marry me because she is already married and her husband works in the US. There is no way she can say the child is his because he has not come back to see her over the last few months.

What should I do??

Do you know 100% she is married or even is pregant? Do you have hard evidence or just going on what she tells you? Going on what she tells you is a mor*n thing to do as this seem like a very clever plan to get rid of you out of her life. Some women do this because they find another and your not fun or exciting as the new one anymore. So these women think of something elobrate that makes you feel bad and guilty, where you think its all your fault and she is the victim here.

If she is married, then make sure her Amritdhari husband is told what took place. If you don't then more paap will be on your head as he can't have a physical relationship with his wife now (unless she takes Amrit again, where her husband is also present in the Amrit Sanchar). Obviously she won't say anything because a honest woman wouldn't get involved with a person like in the first place and she could careless of Sikhi. These type of women put their needs before everything in the world and find some twisted ways to justify their actions.

[Guest spring]

"TBH i've been described as a saidist"

Well that explains a whole lot- and that's not a comment you can take back either.

[Guest KopSingh]

"TBH i've been described as a saidist"

Well that explains a whole lot- and that's not a comment you can take back either.

yea and...

i have aggresive tendencies, which if im truthful, has served me well throught my life. at school NO one and i mean NO ONE physically bullied me, they tried verbally got called 'paki' 60 times a day!), but i dealt with them, and NEVER got mugged off. my cousin was in the same yr as me throughout my school life, and i had to fight her battles too, lookin after her.

there are to many hippy flower power brahmin-esque turn the other cheek sikhs around nowadays. which is y nowadays sikhs always get mugged off and made to look like laughin stocks! u get mona sikhs who jus to busy drinking and tryna pull as many girls as possible and fallin over in clubs like drunken fools and havin their karras stolen off them, then u hav amritdharis who r supposed to b saint and soldiers, gettin there kirpans jacked off them in broad daylight! you have gianis who r all overweight, they should try to set the precedent. ALL sikhs nowadays r jus busy makin money and gettin overweight. baptised or not, sikhs r supposed to be militant, not overweight n weak .

i kno anger is 1 of the 5 evils in sikhi, but my anger/saidistic nature has kinda in a weird way served me well. im a rubbish sikh, but i never getted mugged off, so i suppose i have a terrible balance.

time for the pappu brigade to shout back at me, i can feel it

[KhalistaniGunMan]

i have aggresive tendencies, which if im truthful, has served me well throught my life.

i have similar experiences...controlled agression has benefitted me in so many ways