Kaam

[Ajmeet18]

Sangat ji I am new to this forum and the only reason why I signed up is because I need help. I am amritdhari and I have watched porn and masturbated several times. I have never missed Nitnem or done anything with another women, do I go for Pesh or keep doing ardaas? The reason why I haven't gone Pesh is because I think I will commit the same mistakes again. Pls help me

[sachasoormaa]

No idea about if you need to go pesh mate but kaam is one of the strongest vices. You should try doing simran/ more simran ontop of your nitnem. Do some physical actvity and get rid of that extra energy so you wont think about such things

[Guest KopSingh]

ive got a tip, everytime u get the "ITCH", think of margaret thatcher, that has always worked......always!

[scooter]

I think only that person should post here(after my post who himself has not watched porn/masturbated after being amritdhari. I was also carried away few times by dirty ads on software ddl sites. Maya is very strong and especially with advent of internet all materials are easily available. In my teenage , i remember i tried looking for dirty material but could not find it but after this internet boom they are one click away. Sometimes i feel helpless on these things.

May waheuru give us the courage to fight with these evils

[Guest grihast_dharam]

Why don't you people get married, why are you suppressing your sexual energies in this way by avoiding grihazt jeevan dharam?

[Guest gupt]

you should pesh, you can do benti to the panj pyare for help and kirpa to not do it again in the future.

[VanHelsingh]

Why don't you people get married, why are you suppressing your sexual energies in this way by avoiding grihazt jeevan dharam?

Surely becoming a married man is not a greenlight to be "at it" with your wife whenever you like? That defeats the whole purpose of reigning in kaam doesn't it, if all you do is indulge in intercourse with your wife whenever the feeling takes you? Then how is the individual curbing the desire for kaam? To defeat krodh do you become even more angrier? To overcome ego do you become more of an egotist?

What if kaam strikes but your wife isn't in an appropriate frame of mind? Do you force yourself upon her?

I'm not having a go at you brother (or sister), just asking these questions in general. Whilst I have no doubt that a married life is what Sikhi prescribes and as such is correct, I doubt someone naturally inclined towards kaam will magically find their "kaamic" desires fulfilled once married. I mean, surely kaamic thoughts can be categorised under kaam? Preventing the formation of such thoughts in the mind - or even not acting on such thoughts - is what I'd say is the sign of someone who has truly conquered kaam.

Although you never know if a guy does get married and performs his husbandly duties - and he is determined to really tackle the kaam isssue head on if Sikhi is important to the individual concerned - you might begin to think "Oh, sex wasn't such a big deal after all" as you then gradually allow other issues in your life to take priority. I would imagine such a person would then really fulfil that condition that I've heard Gursikhs should practice, i.e. marriage is only really for reproduction. Which is fair enough I suppose.

[Ajmeet18]

you should pesh, you can do benti to the panj pyare for help and kirpa to not do it again in the future.

I would go Pesh but I stil think I will do the same mistakes over and over again. what if I keep a strict amritvela? I thought I only need to go Pesh if I had a physical relationship

[Guest gupt]

I would go Pesh but I stil think I will do the same mistakes over and over again. what if I keep a strict amritvela? I thought I only need to go Pesh if I had a physical relationship

So do you want us to say, ok don't worry carry on doing it and don't go pesh? If you are decided then why did you ask this question? It is not just bajjar kurehts that we should go pesh for, acts like masturbation and watching porn are also things which require peshi. You should also communicate to the panj pyare that you are afraid of doing it again, its important to have faith that they can help you. Do exactly what the Guru roop panj pyare tell you, and guru willing you will be protected from doing any such things.

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you still feel the urge to do things like this, then you're amritvela can't be strict enough. A truly 'strict' amritvela would over time lower the influence of the panj chor, including kaam.

[Ajmeet18]

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you still feel the urge to do things like this, then you're amritvela can't be strict enough. A truly 'strict' amritvela would over time lower the influence of the panj chor, including kaam.

The reason why I mentioned the strict amrit vela is becasue after doing these mistakes I dont know how but I woke up everyday at 3am for 2 weeks doing nitnem and naam simran on top and in the day I was doing Sukhmani Sahib and in this time I felt at real peace and thought maharaaj ni bakshliya. However, after those 2 weeks i commited the same mistakes